[ SECRET POST #1264 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1264 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

101.


__________________________________________________



102.


__________________________________________________



103.


__________________________________________________



104.


__________________________________________________



105.


__________________________________________________



106.


__________________________________________________



107.


__________________________________________________



108.


__________________________________________________



109.


__________________________________________________



110.


__________________________________________________



111.


__________________________________________________



112.


__________________________________________________



113.


__________________________________________________



114.


__________________________________________________



115.


__________________________________________________



116.


__________________________________________________



117.


__________________________________________________



118.


__________________________________________________



119.


__________________________________________________



120.


__________________________________________________



121.


__________________________________________________



122.


__________________________________________________



123.


__________________________________________________



124.


__________________________________________________



125.


__________________________________________________



126.


__________________________________________________



127.


__________________________________________________



128.


__________________________________________________



129.


__________________________________________________



130.


__________________________________________________



131.


__________________________________________________



132.


__________________________________________________



133.


__________________________________________________



134.


__________________________________________________



135.


__________________________________________________



136.


__________________________________________________



137.


__________________________________________________



138.


__________________________________________________



139.


__________________________________________________



140.


__________________________________________________



141.


__________________________________________________



142.


__________________________________________________



143.


__________________________________________________



144.


__________________________________________________



145.


__________________________________________________



146.


__________________________________________________



147.


__________________________________________________



148.


__________________________________________________



149.


__________________________________________________



150.


__________________________________________________



151.


__________________________________________________



152.


__________________________________________________



153.


__________________________________________________



154.


__________________________________________________



155.


__________________________________________________



156.


__________________________________________________



157.


__________________________________________________



158.


__________________________________________________



159.


__________________________________________________



160.


__________________________________________________



161.


__________________________________________________



162.


__________________________________________________



163.


__________________________________________________



164.


__________________________________________________



165.


__________________________________________________



166.


__________________________________________________



167.


__________________________________________________



168.


__________________________________________________



169.


__________________________________________________



170.


__________________________________________________



171.


__________________________________________________



172.


__________________________________________________



173.


__________________________________________________



174.


__________________________________________________



175.


__________________________________________________



176.


__________________________________________________



177.


__________________________________________________



178.


__________________________________________________



179.


__________________________________________________



180.


__________________________________________________



181.


__________________________________________________



182.


__________________________________________________



183.


__________________________________________________



184.


__________________________________________________



185.


__________________________________________________



186.


__________________________________________________



187.


__________________________________________________



188.


__________________________________________________



189.


__________________________________________________



190.


__________________________________________________



191.


__________________________________________________



192.


__________________________________________________



193.


__________________________________________________



194.


__________________________________________________



195.


__________________________________________________



196.


__________________________________________________



197.




Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 27 pages, 651 secrets from Secret Submission Post #181.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 - not!secrets ], [ 1 2 3 4 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 4 5 - too big ], [ 1 2 3 4 5 - repeat ], [ 1 - doing it wrong ], [ 1 - take it to comments ], [ 1 - ships it ], [ 1 2 3 - posted twice ], [ 1 - personal attack ], [ 1 - empty comment ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom.livejournal.com]

194. http://i48.tinypic.com/t8m8ih.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

I can't handle it, at all. I'm so glad it's proving a pleasant space for someone.

[(Anonymous)]

same

[(Anonymous)]

IA. Not my cup of tea, but I'm glad people are learning something there!

[(Anonymous)]

Ditto. It makes me feel so anxiety-ridden but I keep going there.

[(Anonymous)]

ia. it's made me examine a lot of the privilege i have and never knew i had because i was so woefully ignorant.

[hustle-rose010.livejournal.com]

we love you too <3

[miss-mishi.livejournal.com]

I agree actually. At first I was really angry with it for "not being fun anymore" and not listening to my anecdata and accusing me of derailing and then I realized I was learning a shit-ton and actually facing my privilege and that sometimes it's not the right time for me to speak but rather listen and learn and actually I was derailing and I shouldn't be so defensive about it because my opinions sometimes don't matter and IDGAF I love ontd_feminism.

+1

[kookaburra1701.livejournal.com]

Not in _feminism, but that's the way it was for me lots of other feminist spaces on the internet. And it still is that way, because unpacking privilege is a neverending task, but it's always rewarding. I'm so glad that people called me on my shit and didn't give me any slack for my "good intentions".

[quadruplify.livejournal.com]

I would totally say right now that I must've made this in my sleep, but I don't have the Photoshop skills. XD But yes, I completely agree, OP.

[t3h-toby-chan.livejournal.com]

+1

[(Anonymous)]

I never was in ontd_feminism, but I used to feel that way about feminist comms. Now I couldn't possibly feel more different. I don't mean to say anyone is wrong about her (his?) own experiences, but for me personally, I found that I learned something else, too: how to be judgmental in a way I never had before. How to be the kind of person who says "No, your experiences are only 'anecdata'" rather than listening to other people. How to cherry-pick whose story matters. How to ignore cruelties when precipitated against the "wrong" people and how to turn any slight against the "right" ones into an enormity.

I honestly think that feminism of that kind actually made me more vulnerable in a verbally abusive relationship (that, by the time I left, had become physically injurious as well.) Because a lot of my "feminist" friends told me lesbian relationships are safer. That there is a certain comfort and relief with women because there are no power games. Because "men abuse women, and the statistics say women abuse far, far less often" made it easy to tell myself I was just "being sensitive" when she hurt me. Having been told that bringing up same-sex DV is "derailing" and distracts from the "source" of the problem (men's misogyny), I couldn't let myself see what was happening to me with clear eyes.

My abuser was a member of various oppressed groups that I was not, and whenever I tried to stick up for my own boundaries, I was accused of behaving like an oppressor, of "making the tone argument" (for saying she sounded too angry, even though the issue was how I wanted to be spoken to by my partner in private) and of being used to being coddled thanks to my privilege.

I do not mean to say that feminism and other social-justice based movements are worthless. I simply mean that I feel "go educate yourself" and "go do your 101 and then come back here" encourage people to make themselves suggestible and fail to consider fully whether what others tell them about their oppressions square with their reason and observation.

I hope that people who get a lot out of those communities do acknowledge that a minority of sad, unscrupulous people will do anything to manipulate others, including play the victim so they can do whatever they want to other people.

I am sure I will get a lot of "baww baww sad oppressor" troll comments for this, and it is up to you all what you believe about my honor, but I swear I am not lying. I would gladly post this not-anon, but I do not want my former abuser finding this and using it against me.

[(Anonymous)]

We just a had a post a couple days ago about same sex rape and relationship abuse.

Just saying.

I think if you learned how to be judgemental etc, you missed the point.

[(Anonymous)]

Look, I'm sorry about what happened to you, and I'm sorry that it feels to you like it's as bad as what males do to us, but it really isn't.

I'm so sorry, but you really are derailing, weather you know it or not.

Look at it this way: You got out. Something you may not have been able to do had your abuser been male. How many women cant escape, because of the male-dominated society forcing them into this role you're so willing to enforce?

Honestly, I'm only ever a lurker over there, but I'm glad you're gone. This shit would have helped no-one, Not you, and not any real feminist at risk, it would have only caused hurt.

Good luck with whatever life you choose, but keep you're derailing 'but women can be bad toooooooo' bullshit away for us. please.

[wicked-seraph.livejournal.com]

IA, OP. At first I was like, "why the fuck did I join here?" because initially I took it to be a very bitter, very angry space - and this is from someone who was (and still us) mostly a lurker.

I've learned a lot in the short time I've been part of that comm, though by no means does that mean that I don't have a long way to go. It's still sometimes quite bitter and angry - but now, I can understand and agree with a good part of WHY.

[0o0f.livejournal.com]

I love that comm.

[beuk.livejournal.com]

I like what it's doing, but it was making me feel depressed so I don't really look at it all that often. Plus, I wasn't ever active or anything, so I'm not missed.

[humblebot.livejournal.com]

I tried watching it for a few days...but it felt like...Okay, no one is accountable for anything if they're not a biological male and you can't judge anyone for anything ever even if it's affecting other people because its their life. If you DO judge anyone about anything you're a bad person and automatically opening the floodgates for people to judge YOU for doing so. And anything a man says about anything other than men is wrong because it's impossible to think from someone else's perspective ever. It just kind rubbed me the wrong way.

But whatever, feminism isn't one monotonous movement with singular opinions and if that's the way they want to express it, fine with me.

[(Anonymous)]

Amen, sister.

[(Anonymous)]

I've learned more about oppression and privilege in the few months I've been in that community than I have anywhere else. Also, I'm pretty much a lurker fangirl for enteledont who is ALWAYS ALWAYS on point.

[(Anonymous)]

I want to be enteledont when I grow up. She's my hero.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh no, it is not. It is, mainly, a bunch of people who have channeled their guilt over how privileged they are into attacking other people who share that privilege so that, by defending the idea that the only people who can talk about anything are the people it personally involves (which, you know, oh that is SO going to solve all our problems, isn't it? Let the black people talk about blackness, because white people - hell, all people - are incapable of empathy or understanding it), they can stop hating themselves for being privileged.

I'm glad it makes you pleased to confront your own privilege, but I hope you realize that when it comes to actual activism - when it comes to actual human empathy - they are doing it so, so wrong.

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you. I mean, just look at the recent post on Dr. Pappas. It's totally okay that this stuff go on, because it's oh so much more important for people to recognize intersex issues than, uh, to actually oppose doctors mutilating intersex kids. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. I'm seriously shaking over that.

[(Anonymous)]

IA. The thought process that, "only the person the issue deals with has an legitimate, worthwhile opinion" is inherently wrong. It surprises me that people can't see that.

[(Anonymous)]

I love that comm but it has made me see people in my life in a whole new light and I'm not sure they are the kind of people I want to be around anymore. Which is difficult because I'm talking about close friends and family.