fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1273 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1273 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

THIS ANON, I LIKE YOU.

Secrets Left to Post: 16 pages, 391 secrets from Secret Submission Post #182.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

128. http://img257.imageshack.us/img257/9256/anotherworld535x270.jpg

I dislike you.

I really hope you're a troll. That's beyond fucked up.

THIS.

Seriously. What the hell?

Wow, that's fucked up beyond belief. You have to be a troll.

Dude

How old were you at the time?

Ah

I'd have probably done the same thing at that age.

You were thirteen?

Seriously, it's time to forgive yourself. You were young, your brother was probably young, and it's understandable that you couldn't really handle what was going on.

So glad that you replied to this question because that context makes a huge difference. (see jlh's insightful comments)

I hope your brother's ghost haunts you until the day you die.

Wow. I'm sad for you. :( I bet you could kick yourself now knowing one day you'd be able to watch the finale online.

Weirds me out seeing a soap secret here though.

I've never hoped for a troll as badly as I am right now.

Christ.

First of all, that was over ten years ago, dude.

Second, I have to wonder if you weren't actually freaked out about the idea of going to that funeral. It's a lot to process, no matter how old you were.

Third, people grieve in their own ways. I'm over all the crazy judging about how we react to death and whether we cry and all this other bullshit.

This.

I feel like anon's actually being more truthful than they're aware of when they lied to their family.

Well, now that I see that they were thirteen at the time, definitely.

(no subject)

leafing.livejournal.com - 2010-06-28 23:35 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2010-06-29 00:01 (UTC) - Expand

Sorry to follow you around going "this," but um, this.

Y-your brother's funeral. Your brother. For a tv show.

...Yeah, I have a big problem with this.

I'm not sure you are a troll, especially since you answered to one of the above comments. If you really were 13, I understand.

I never missed anyone's funeral, but at that age I did spend a lot of time watching crappy tv that I could have spent at the hospital, spending time with ill family members. You probably were freaked by death, or not ready to say goodbye yet, or just avoiding the whole thing. Tv or fandom are good ways to do that. You obviously wouldn't do it again now considering you made this secret. And to be honest, even if you did, what would it matter? A funeral is a ceremony for those left behind, for the living. It's a chance to say goodbye, but not the only chance. I'm sure you did too, in your own way. Being young and a bit stupid does not make you a horrible person.

I had the same "wow, that's fucked up" reaction as some of the comments above, but after reading them and thinking about it, I don't think you should beat yourself up over it. You were thirteen. I'm sure the idea of watching a show was infinitely less scary than dealing with your brother's death.

I've never gone to a funeral. Nobody awfully close to me has ever died, but I'm not sure I'd go to any funerals if they did. I don't deal with death that way. I don't even cry. It takes me very, very long to process it, graveyards freak me out, and I find the whole 'sorry for your loss' ritual annoying, plus I'd feel horribly guilty doing something like that to somebody who's lost a loved one -- yeah, people care, you're not alone, but it must be so emotionally draining to have to respond to "You must be devastated" comments.

I'm not heartless, but I'd watch a show finale over going to a funeral in a heartbeat unless my presence there would make someone I care about who is still alive feel supported in some way. And frankly, if it's a sibling's funeral and your parents are there? I'm not sure having to make sure you're okay and don't worry too much for them etc. as they'd have to if you were there throughout the saying-goodbye process would be very helpful for them.

While I think the same (as in you should demostrate your affections to your loved ones when they're still alive), you clearly haven't lost anyone truly important to you. When someone you love dies, believe me, you wouldn't feel like watching anything at all.

OP, don't feel remorse. The most important thing you could do was when he was alive.

(Anonymous) - 2010-06-29 14:36 (UTC) - Expand

Wow. Was it worth it?

Yes. Great finale. My brother would have approved.

Re: OP

(Anonymous) - 2010-06-29 02:07 (UTC) - Expand

Try to forgive yourself, OP. Hell, I'm nineteen and I'm not so sure that I'd be able to sit through my sister's funeral. Call this emotionally immature, but I'd probably try to escape from the pain and shock much the same way you did.

Much as I really, really want to dislike you, I have to admit I did some of my best fandom and non-fandom writing in the immediate aftermath of my brother's death. I still don't approve of you missing the funeral, but I can understand wanting some escapism.

That's assuming what some people have theorised above about being young and scared of death etc. is true and you're not really just an uncaring asshole. Which I really hope is the case.