[ SECRET POST #1273 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1273 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

THIS ANON, I LIKE YOU.



Secrets Left to Post: 16 pages, 391 secrets from Secret Submission Post #182.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I had the same "wow, that's fucked up" reaction as some of the comments above, but after reading them and thinking about it, I don't think you should beat yourself up over it. You were thirteen. I'm sure the idea of watching a show was infinitely less scary than dealing with your brother's death.

I've never gone to a funeral. Nobody awfully close to me has ever died, but I'm not sure I'd go to any funerals if they did. I don't deal with death that way. I don't even cry. It takes me very, very long to process it, graveyards freak me out, and I find the whole 'sorry for your loss' ritual annoying, plus I'd feel horribly guilty doing something like that to somebody who's lost a loved one -- yeah, people care, you're not alone, but it must be so emotionally draining to have to respond to "You must be devastated" comments.

I'm not heartless, but I'd watch a show finale over going to a funeral in a heartbeat unless my presence there would make someone I care about who is still alive feel supported in some way. And frankly, if it's a sibling's funeral and your parents are there? I'm not sure having to make sure you're okay and don't worry too much for them etc. as they'd have to if you were there throughout the saying-goodbye process would be very helpful for them.

[(Anonymous)]

While I think the same (as in you should demostrate your affections to your loved ones when they're still alive), you clearly haven't lost anyone truly important to you. When someone you love dies, believe me, you wouldn't feel like watching anything at all.

OP, don't feel remorse. The most important thing you could do was when he was alive.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not sure that's a valid assumption. Everyone deals with grief differently, and on different timescales. When I was 11, my mum committed suicide. The police found her body overnight, and I spent most of the next day playing racing games with my brother on his PS2 and wishing that all the people who came over to say they were sorry for our loss would go away, because I hadn't processed her death yet and didn't know how to deal with what was going on.

OP, I'm sorry you lost your brother, especially at such an early age. I agree with those who've said you shouldn't beat yourself up about missing the funeral. If that wasn't part of how you wanted to deal with what had happened, that's fine. Everyone's different.