[ SECRET POST #1293 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1293 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

<-- breeding woopers!

Secrets Left to Post: 16 pages, 383 secrets from Secret Submission Post #185.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - zombie poster ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[pspgm.livejournal.com]

Am I the only straight/bi person mildly offended by... a lot of this? This is a general response to several of the replies here, I kind of started with OP's secret and then moved into other stuff. Sorry for tl;dr.

OP, clearly you have some issues that go deeper than just being asexual. There's a difference between not having a sex drive (which I can understand) and being outright afraid of sex. The former is an orientation. The latter actually seems to be messing with your ability to enjoy life, and that's not good.

I'm a bisexual female, and I promise you: I don't want into the pants of every human being I interact with. I live in sex-crazed American culture, but that doesn't mean that I'm sending signals to everyone I meet at a party about how badly I want to sleep with them. When I'm talking to someone, it's because I want to talk to them. If I do try flirting and they don't express interest, I back the fuck off. Most people operate like this, actually. The people who don't are in a minority and we more cultured people call them "douchebags" when we're fending off their unwanted attention.

In conclusion: It is perfectly possible for non-asexuals to interact with people in a capacity that doesn't involve sex. OP, my friend, you should seek some help about the issues that make you that afraid of other people's sexuality.

Note: This is not an attempt to convince anybody they're not asexual or even to suggest that sex might solve any problems you have. But when you think that every straight guy in the world wants into your pants by default of having a sex drive? You need to talk to someone, because that simply isn't true, and it has got to suck to go around afraid of that. I feel for you, OP. but not like that

OP

[(Anonymous)]

But rape happens all the time. 1 in 6 women in the US will get raped in their lifetime, and the majority of culprits are heterosexual or bisexual men. 95% of the time it's people they know - friends or family.

From birth I was constantly bombarded with measures to take to ensure that I won't get raped or molested (what not to wear, not to go out alone at night, don't be alone with a man in a room, carry pepperspray or something sharp in my hands if I'm walking alone in an unpopulated area, etc), and it's hard to just ignore all of that.

Sure, the bulk of people are decent non-rapists, but there's always the what-if, and all it takes is one time.

Re: OP

[(Anonymous)]

Your statistics are correct, but there's one important thing you're missing- there's no way to guarantee you will never be raped. Those measures you're talking about above wouldn't help you if you were to be raped by someone you knew, and most of them have been proven not to help against people you don't know either.

Please, see a psychologist about this problem that you have. Your fear isn't normal, rational, or healthy, and dealing with it will likely help you to live a much happier, free life. Rape is a horrible thing to happen to anyone, but your constant fear won't make it any better.

Re: OP

[(Anonymous)]

Jesus Christ, the fuck? This sounds like something akin to an obsession. I think every girl in suburban America has heard these statistics, and I know of no one this hung up on it.

If you don't want to be assaulted then be smart. You've listed many, although some are unreasonable. Just don't put yourself in an uncomfortable situation, and if you find yourself in one, leave it. I know sometimes it's unavoidable, and I'm not saying rape victims are "asking for it" or anything even close to that, but there are precautions you can take.

Also, it sounds like you have a fear of men. Just saying. Don't be alone with a man in a room? That sounds seriously phobic if you ask me.

[ladyairy.livejournal.com]

Seconding this. I'm a bisexual with friends of both genders and a very poor sense of flirtation. I never make any kind of advances on anyone unless I know them very well and am certain of getting a positive response.