Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2010-09-15 05:14 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2010-09-15 05:14 pm
[ SECRET POST #1351 ]
⌈ Secret Post #1351 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 111 secrets from Secret Submission Post #193.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - unreadable ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
no subject
Trans people are not a third option that exists between or outside of men and women. There are some trans spectrum people who identify that way, like Kate Bornstein, for example, but trans does not always or even frequently mean outside the male/female binary. If you're a gay woman or a straight man, having sex with a trans woman wouldn't exist in opposition to the way you identify sexually. If you're a straight woman or a gay man, having sex with a trans man wouldn't exist in opposition to the way you identify sexually.
Now, there's also the possibility that you're saying you're a straight woman who's considering what a sexual encounter with a trans woman would be like. So the fact that you're reconsidering your sexual identity is totally legitimate. But there's still a big problem here.
The big problem is that you make it sound that the only way that you as a cis person would ever consider having any kind of romanto-sexual encounter with a transgender person would be as a "harmless fling." Essentially, what you've said here is that trans people are only material for one night stands or brief friends-with-benefits setups, not proper relationships. I hope that now that that's clear, it's obvious to you why this secret is deeply problematic.
We won't even go into the fetishizing that's happening here. I don't have time. But I do recommend reading this (http://www.juliaserano.com/TSetiology.html#TransMarch09) speech by Julia Serano. It may help you see your desires in a clearer light and find a more positive way to express them, a way that doesn't hurt the people you're desiring.