fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1411 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1411 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

101.

__________________________________________________

102.

__________________________________________________

103.

__________________________________________________

104.

__________________________________________________

105.

__________________________________________________

106.

__________________________________________________

107.

__________________________________________________

108.

__________________________________________________

109.

__________________________________________________

110.

__________________________________________________

111.

__________________________________________________

112.

__________________________________________________

113.

__________________________________________________

114.

__________________________________________________

115.

__________________________________________________

116.

__________________________________________________

117.

__________________________________________________

118.

__________________________________________________

119.

__________________________________________________

120.

__________________________________________________

121.

__________________________________________________

122.

__________________________________________________

123.

__________________________________________________

124.

__________________________________________________

125.

__________________________________________________

126.

__________________________________________________

127.

__________________________________________________

128.

__________________________________________________

129.

__________________________________________________

130.

__________________________________________________

131.

__________________________________________________

132.

__________________________________________________

133.

__________________________________________________

134.

__________________________________________________

135.

__________________________________________________

136.

__________________________________________________

137.

__________________________________________________

138.

__________________________________________________

139.

__________________________________________________

140.

__________________________________________________

141.

__________________________________________________

142.

__________________________________________________

143.

__________________________________________________

144.

__________________________________________________

145.

__________________________________________________

146.

__________________________________________________

147.

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 10 pages, 240 secrets from Secret Submission Post #202.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm honestly surprised at how negative the responses are to this secret. OP's obviously got some self-esteem issues, and who hasn't been there? in b4 /cool story bro, but I think a lot of people use the internet as sort of a shield, a place where you're judged on how you act instead of how you look, and I can totally understand being upset to find out that your online friends are attractive IRL. it would just be a reminder of your own insecurity. I don't see this secret as being judgmental so much as depressed.

tl;dr is everyone responding to this so rudely because they want to make it look like they're not one of the 'ugly slash fans'? this is seriously bothering me for some reason.

I know... I don't get it. OP seems to be really insecure and everyone thinks the best response is to make them feel even worse? Wtf?

That's also how I read it.

The implication that slash fans are supposed to be ugly is what I think is bothering a few people.

so that makes it okay to treat the OP like shit?

No, but I can see why people might be a little blunter and less careful with their words. I personally don't think the OP meant any harm by it, but I can see why some people are offended.

We need a reason? This is fandomsecrets.

ok, that I'll give you. I'm just trying to start a conversation here though.

I think it's not just the implication that the OP thinks poorly and stereotypically this way toward slash fans. I think it's also the fact that the OP is using his/her own poor image issues to bring down other people for their looks, which, you have to admit is not okay.

I mean I feel bad for the OP too but I don't exactly admire the way the OP thinks he/she has to go and do to deal with it in order to feel better.

Yeah, this.

I'm not seeing that at all. I'm just seeing an OP who thinks she's ugly and probably uses slash fandom as an escape. maybe that's just me.

I don't know. Maybe she is, but it seems to me that she was hoping that those fandom friends were unattractive all the same. Either way, I honestly do hope she does find a way to cope better.

(no subject)

stella-down.livejournal.com - 2010-11-14 22:57 (UTC) - Expand

mythtaken.livejournal.com - 2010-11-14 23:23 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2010-11-15 03:03 (UTC) - Expand

I'm in agreement with more or less all your comments in this thread, and I do think it's obvious the secret poster has serious self-esteem issues, and somehow relates her participation is slash fandom to these issues, but I also understand why this is a hot-button topic for many people.

It's infuriating to so often hear how one is into slash because on has ~issues, or how it's because one can't find a partner in RL, or because 'you hate yourself and therefor hate all female characters'. Some of us are just into it because we find it hot, plain and simple -- no huge psychological mystery behind it.
How often are mainstream dudes who're into lesbian porn put under the microscope, and being psychoanalyzed by perfect strangers because of their porn preferences?

I understand why having the worst kind of yaoi/slash fangirl stereotype reinforced by this secret makes some people lash out, even if it's unfair.

stella-down.livejournal.com - 2010-11-15 00:17 (UTC) - Expand

Having poor self esteem does not grant you immunity from people calling you out on being a bitch.

having great self esteem doesn't mean you get a free pass to act like a bitch either.

Welcome to Fandom Secrets

stella-down.livejournal.com - 2010-11-14 22:58 (UTC) - Expand

It's not really "being a bitch" though is it? They said they "feel awful" when they find out others are atractive, I sincerly doubt that it's a negative feeling towards the person who's pretty IRL, but more of an "OMG why am I so ugly?" self-depreciating feel awful.

I understand being upset and having self-esteem issues, but it seemed almost like OP was blaming the other girls for being attractive, like being "slash loving fandom friends" would mean they couldn't possible be.

I apologize if I was one of them who sounded rude in my comment, I really didn't intend to.

IAWTC

IDK
I'm not really angry at OP, I just think this kind of mentality is annoying and sad. I mean, who gives a shit what other people look like?

I can totally understand being upset to find out that your online friends are attractive IRL

What I don't understand is why OP would start by assuming that their online friends are NOT attractive IRL.

As one of the ugly ones IRL, I always start by assuming that everyone I meet online is attractive, or at least more attractive than I am, because that's the only statistically logical assumption to make. It's when it turns out that someone is NOT that attractive after all that I am surprised.

I also find the secret mildly insulting in that it sounds like OP makes fandom friends on the assumed basis (even hope?) that they are uglier than hir, which is really not cool in my opinion.

OT, I just wanted to say I lurve your icon~ <3

Thank you :) I need to update it by adding the DVD cover, but still, you can snag it if you want.

haruyan.livejournal.com - 2010-11-15 04:50 (UTC) - Expand

delwynmarch.livejournal.com - 2010-11-15 04:54 (UTC) - Expand

I agree with all of your comments in this thread.

The secret *is* ambiguous as to how much haterade is directed at women and how much of it just self-loathing in a misery-loves-company sort of way.

Because, not gonna lie, I'm a touch envious when I find out a popular fic-writing friend is attractive IRL. I'm successful in real life, but I'm average-looking, and my writing is average, and anyone who says they wouldn't want to be pretty or write amazing fic if they're a fic writer is lyin'.