Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2010-12-30 04:16 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2010-12-30 04:16 pm
[ SECRET POST #1457 ]
⌈ Secret Post #1457 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 051 secrets from Secret Submission Post #208.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
no subject
For me, porn is no different than written erotica. It's just the kind that I don't need to read. I find the idea of what the performers are doing arousing, but I don't find any of them attractive. As in if they were sitting there naked on my couch, I'd shrug and go back to playing Modern Warfare.
I'm sorry if I'm coming off overly snippy. I don't mean to. I've just heard this exact same argument from sexual people all my life trying to convince me that they know my sexuality and what I should identify as so much better than I do.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2010-12-31 02:21 am (UTC)(link)no subject
I think you explained fairly well, at least I have a bit more insight (I think).
So the idea or the act can be arousing, but the actual individuals are uninteresting, sexually?
(that being said, most people just sitting naked on a couch wouldn't do all that much for me either...as there is such a thing as non-sexual nudity too, even for us with sexual attractions - but I digress)
I think you probably get the argument from "sexual" people because...in a lot of people these things are just very much interlinked. While I do intellectually know that a romantic relationship =/= a sexual relationship, for a lot of people (including me) they just often come in the same package. That doesn't take away your frustration with it, I'm sure, but it's an explanation as why you hear the argument so much...
no subject
Exactly. More like the idea of the act, which is what erotica is; the cleaned up, airbrushed, fantasy-enhanced idea of sex where things like leg cramps and backaches don't exist and everyone can achieve a screaming orgasm in under ten minutes. Because actual sex? Right up there with watching my hard drive defrag as "most boring activity ever." But yes, the actual individuals are not sexually appealing in any way to me.
I think you probably get the argument from "sexual" people because...in a lot of people these things are just very much interlinked.
Precisely. And I know that. I just wish when I explained that for me, they are completely separate things because unlike them, I don't experience sexual attraction, that I would stop getting told that I'm either repressing attraction or I'm somehow enjoying porn incorrectly.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2010-12-31 11:51 pm (UTC)(link)You finally put in words how I've been trying to sum up how I feel and identify when I wasn't even sure myself. I am attracted to a lot of fictional characters, hell I even masturbate once in a blue moon, but more than anything that's just an annoying itch to be scratched, one I wish my body would do without. I have no desire to be with somebody. None at all. :|
It's made life confusing enough as is without the arguments of 'why noooot?' from other people who don't get it.