[ SECRET POST #1464 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1464 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 108 secrets from Secret Submission Post #209.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[kallanda-lee.livejournal.com]

I think this post is horribly out of touch with how people actually have sex, or how they show intimate affection towards someone else.

[meran-flash.livejournal.com]

You think people never discuss what is and isn't acceptable behavior within a sexual relationship?

Again, you're making extrapolations that have nothing to do with the concept. Do some research. The book Yes Means Yes is a place to start.

[kallanda-lee.livejournal.com]

Of course it's discussed. And preferably at the beginning of said relationship.

But it isn't discussed every bloody time

Let's assume that anal sex was established as acceptable behaviour in a particular relationship.
Do you think it should be asked over & over again if "it's still okay", during a course of say, a 5-year long relationship?

[meran-flash.livejournal.com]

Do you think it's okay for one partner to initiate anal sex when they haven't even established if the other partner wants any sex at all?

Do you think it's okay for one partner to proceed with anal sex if the other partner has in the past established that they are not automatically consenting to anal sex, even if they've consented to another sexual act?

Do you think that one instance of consent automatically establishes consent in all future encounters?

The concept of enthustiastic consent does not exclude the possibility for understanding between partners in an established relationship. However, it does state that any partner has the right to change their mind about consenting to any act at any time, regardless of past encounters.

[kallanda-lee.livejournal.com]

Question 1 - no.
Question 2 - no.
Question 3 - Not automatically. But if anal sex is a fairly common practice between said couple, how do you establish it's not okay practice on occasion #159...unless it is stated clearly?

[(Anonymous)]

What the fuck does this have to do with what we're talking about


Why are you bringing up all these derailing what if scenarios


Is it because you really are a stupid idiot that can't argue worth shit, or is it just that you're really dedicated to rape apologism and victim blaming, or is it, as I suspect, both?

[kallanda-lee.livejournal.com]

Mostly because they are genuine possibilities.

[(Anonymous)]

They're completely irrelevant to the conversation at hand

[kallanda-lee.livejournal.com]

I'd disagree.

[(Anonymous)]

You'd be wrong

[kallanda-lee.livejournal.com]

Fortunately, you're not a Deity.

[(Anonymous)]

Unfortunately, you're full of shit

[(Anonymous)]

"So how about some back door action tonight?"
"No thanks."
"Okay."


Been married 15 years, and ever single act of intercourse has been consented to. It's not that hard to do.

[kallanda-lee.livejournal.com]

That's hilarious.

I have never planned any action, back door oi>r otherwise, for tonight

The thought of planning sex is just entirely alien in my world.
You have no concept of the fact that other relationships might not be like yours.

Generally it starts if we start kissing, touching, and that (often, but not always) actually leads do sex. And it's a very nice, spontaneous thing. If you partner just walks in looking hot as hell, and you're all over them them,and they reciprocate and don't stand there like a cold fish...it sure as hell is consensual, even they haven't specifically spelled out which body part goes in which orifice at which hour of the day...

DA

[(Anonymous)]

No, you misunderstand. The tonight was euphemism I think. To be cruder:

Two people are in the middle of getting ready to have sex. Touching, fondling, kissing. Maybe even in the middle of sex. Then one asks the other, can I do a specific sex act that I'm not sure you're willing to do? The other goes no. The other goes ok, and they proceed to have other kinds of sex that have been previously established they are willing to do.

Re: DA

[kallanda-lee.livejournal.com]

Yes, perfectly normal conversation.

But even you agree there is such a thing as "kinds of sex that have been previously established they are willing to do"

And such acts,surely are not rape, unless person A states to person B that sexual act number C, which has been acceptable the first 3 years, is no longer acceptable now.

This is of course a possibility: Person A might not feel happy to do it, because, say they had surgery and it's now painful. Or because their mom has died and they're depressed. And if they make clear through words or clear body language that the act is undesired, person B must of course stop. And should not coerce further on basis of "it being okay before".

But if person A says nothing, then person B has no way of knowing that sexual act C, which has always been perfectly pleasurable withing their relationship, is suddenly not acceptable. Unless they're highly empathic, but not all people are.

Which was my point all along.