[ SECRET POST #1475 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1475 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 14 pages, 349 secrets from Secret Submission Post #211.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Yep, it's crappy writing.

[(Anonymous)]

No, it's professional writing. The pros use. Pick up any book.

[szaleniec1000.livejournal.com]

Yes, but usually not without good reason. "I don't want to repeat their name" isn't a good reason. You're not playing Just a Minute.

[fireholly.livejournal.com]

Thanks for this. From now on, I'm going to mentally read epithet-laden fanfic in the voice of Clement Freud.

[szaleniec1000.livejournal.com]

Now I will as well! XD

[(Anonymous)]

not the profic I read. just because it's published doesn't mean the author isn't a hack.

[(Anonymous)]

cf. Twilight

[(Anonymous)]

Well then stop reading shit. Speaking as a published writer and someone who's worked in publishing, the ways one can avoid using cop-outs like that are numerous.

[(Anonymous)]

ok, got three books from my shelf and opened them at random. let's see:

"Richard wondered where they were. This didn't seem to be a sewer. Perhaps it was a tunnel for telephone cables, or for very small trains. Or for... something else. He realized that he did not know very much about what went on beneath the streets of London. He walked nervously, worried that he'd catch his feet in something, that he'd stumble in the darkness and break his ankle. De Carabas strode on ahead, non-chalantly, apparently uncaring of whether Richard was with him or not. The crimson flame cast huge shadows on the tunnel walls."
Neil Gaiman. Neverwhere.

"Dale clapped to help them with the new rhythm. Jasmin sat down in the front row and lit a cigarette. He called back to Dale,
'Them on the end...' She put her finger to her ear to show him she could not hear, and walked down the steps towards him.
'Them on the end, they're going too fast, what do you think?' They watched together. It was true, the two who had been moving well, they were a little out of time. Jasmin made another steeple under his nose and Dale scissored on to the stage. She stood over them and clapped."
Ian McEwan. First Love, Last Rites.

"The first thing Loren noticed the next morning when she awoke was that the harness and dildo had been removed. Then she smelled coffee and fresh biscuits. She sat up, rubbing her eyes as Terri came in carrying a tray. She sat the tray beside Loren and sat on the edge of the bed.
'I thought you might like breakfast in here for a change.'
Loren took in the carefully arranged basket of biscuits, plate of crispy bacon surrounding a perfect omelet. A pot of coffee and a pitcher of freshly squeeted orange juice flanked a vase containing a yellow tulip and a cloud of baby's breath as final, special touch.
Picking up a biscuit, Loren imperiously smeared honey on it. Then, taking a bite, she looked up at Terri. 'Well, looks like you've really learned your lesson, huh?'
Terri smiled as she munched on a strip of bacon. 'Oh yes. But you know me and my memory. If I should slip up, I guess you'll just have to teach me again.'"
Kathleen E. Morris. speaking in whispers.

so... yeah. not that this is necessarily proof of anything, but i couldn't resist the imperative to "Pick up any book."

[jedishampoo.livejournal.com]

I never see it in books. Only once in the past ten years have I seen a published author use epithets in a book... and it was a book I eventually had to stop reading because it was too badly written. (The author had other problems in addition to the use of epithets, however.)

Epithets don't bother everyone, it is true. But IMO, they're not professional.

[szaleniec1000.livejournal.com]

*nods* I'm morbidly curious as to what anon reads, because not only does every book I can lay hands on right now use epithets sparingly, every writing guide I've read has cautioned against their overuse.

[adlanth.livejournal.com]

But he's not blue-eyed!

Now if you could direct me to The Point, I think I missed it by a few miles...

[fairhearing.livejournal.com]

No, it's professional writing. The pros use. Pick up any book.

O, that we might someday hope to reach the vaunted prosaic levels of ALAN DEAN FOSTER

I'm trying not to sound like an insufferable snob up ins, honestly, but please do ME a favor and pick up The Art of Fiction (http://www.amazon.com/Art-Fiction-Notes-Craft-Writers/dp/0679734031) by John Gardner. And then please skip to the "common errors" chapter, where this, along with a lot of other really well-meaning techniques writers use once they start actually thinking about the words that they're putting to paper and how they might be being received, is presented in a way that makes you suddenly understand "oh, wait a second, it's true, I actually DO never notice when the author repeats 'said' nine hundred times per page."

just please do so because this is really hurting me ;n;