Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2011-03-30 03:44 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2011-03-30 03:44 pm
[ SECRET POST #1548 ]
⌈ Secret Post #1548 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 095 secrets from Secret Submission Post #221.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
no subject
Warning: Triggering, graphic talk of rape
(Anonymous) 2011-03-30 11:06 pm (UTC)(link)Calentura is an all-female punk band fronted by singer Meghan Storm.
These are the relevant parts of the interview she did with girlpunk.net about her rape on Warped.
Warning: Triggering, graphic talk of rape
Who are the coolest (and not so coolest) bands you met on Warped?
Thrice was cool, but I was too shy to talk to them. My Chemical Romance are my friends from back home but I was not impressed with their lack of support for me when I was raped. I can’t imagine I’ll ever be close with them again. Bleeding Through I LOOOVED. They are good people. I don’t care what anyone says about Marta, that girl is good person. Other bands that were really cool that are still underground are, Stolen Babies, Killbourne, Daimon, and The Heist at Hand.
Interestingly, the other bands with women on other stages weren’t really nice to us. The Eyeliners, for example came off as snotty name-droppers. Emily from Tsunami Bomb was cold, although Scott was really sweet.
I was somewhat disturbed when I read the mention of a rape swept under the table. Can you elaborate on that?
Yes. We had a day off before the Calgary show. Everyone from the tour was hanging out and drinking. I was drinking a little bit, but I can never drink a lot because it dries out my vocal chords. So I have a rule that when I’m out I will never drink more than two drinks. That’s just my way of keeping tabs on myself so I never blow it and end up not being able to sing the next day. Any vocalist will tell you they do that.
I was sitting on the steps playing guitar and around 11:00pm I went inside to go to the bathroom. When I was going back Hector from Epitaph waved me in to the bar and offered me a drink. I took it but I remember drinking it very slowly because that would be my last drink. I was also leaving it at the table and running around to talk to a million people, like an asshole. I was sitting at a table with a bunch of people from the tour who I was just meeting for the first time.
All of a sudden, I started to get sick and dizzy, and feeling like I couldn’t stand. I remember being worried about how I was going to get out of there and get back to Kristina. I don’t remember anything else. I woke up the next morning with pain and blood in my vagina. The tour had left, so I called a cab and when I got there, I told Kristina and we went to the hospital. I got a rape kit done, they found semen, hairs and 4 inch lacerations in my vagina. They were concerned and I was too, because a predator on the Warped Tour could hurt so many people.
Warning: Triggering, graphic talk of rape part 2/2
(Anonymous) 2011-03-30 11:07 pm (UTC)(link)A week later my detectives called the production office looking to get statements from the people I found out had seen me. When that happened, Kevin Lyman, got involved and promised me that it was the most important thing and he didn’t tolerate rape and he would going to find this person. I told him everything I knew about the night.
Then he talked to Elvis from Left Alone, who apparently told him that I was wasted, and trying to have an orgy with his band when he saw me, and that I was sitting on his bed wear a short skirt being provocative. Elvis told everyone on the tour that I wanted it, in addition he refused to serve any of my friends at the nightly barbeque. The one time I tried to confront him about his lies, he cursed at me, spit at me, and told me if I didn’t shut my mouth, I would regret it.
After he did that I left because I was really truly scared of what they would do to me. I never felt safe. I never felt like is something else happened to me, beyond being raped, that anyone would step up and stop it. I lived in constant anxiety, nightmares, agoraphobia, and panic, which is normal for someone who has suffered rape, but was extremely exacerbated by the total lack of support from everyone except Dana and Kristina.
When I tried to go to the people I had thought were my friends for help, (Patrick and Eon from Bedouin Soundclash, Kurt and Hector from Epitaph, and anyone from Elvis’ band) they ignored me. Sobe who had been with Kristina the night I got raped, told us that his boss told all of them not to speak to any of us or answer any of our questions. He was scared to be seen with us.
Kevin Lyman also never talked to me once after our initial meeting. Because of that I assumed that the gag order had come down from him. But later he told me that it hadn’t. At the very end of tour, when I finally approached him, he told me that he had known the whole summer I was terrified and that I thought that he ordered everyone to not talk to me, but he waited until I asked him flat out to tell me that it wasn’t him. Even though he had known. After our initial meeting he never once contacted me or supported me in any way. At the end of the summer, he told me he didn’t do anything because there was nothing he could do. It was just a matter for the police. Never mind that it was a traveling tour and the crime happened in Canada.
To get the production office to cooperate with my detectives was like pulling teeth. When I left the tour after Elvis threatened me, one of Kevin’s assistants called me and told me that I owed it to Kevin to come back and not make a big deal about it because Kevin had paid me in room and board all summer. I eventually did go back because if I left and had taken the man power of my band with me, the Shira stage would not have made it through the summer.
Twice during the rest of the tour I arranged for police to come take blood samples from people on the tour. They took samples from every person whose name was in the report. But unfortunately since someone had told all of them not to talk about what they had seen, or who they had seen me with, we were unable to get blood samples from anyone that was actually considered a suspect. That was completely heartbreaking to me.
Warning: Triggering, graphic talk of rape part 3/3
(Anonymous) 2011-03-30 11:08 pm (UTC)(link)At the end of the summer, when Kevin heard me talking to a girl who worked in catering about what had happened, he came over and told me that I should know he really cares because in 4 years his daughter will be 14, and he is a feminist, that I should admit that he did everything he could to help me, and that if I am still feeling bad about it I should go see a psychiatrist when I get home.
If I were to truly explain to you how that made me feel, you would be left bleeding heavily in a bath of salt. That pain is something MY father has felt, my mother has felt when she still wakes me up from my nightmares weekly. It is a burden that will never ever be lifted from my beloved boyfriend, and my best friends in my band who have born the fallout.
I blame Kevin Lyman because unlike the person who drugged and raped me, he knows the difference between right and wrong, And unlike that person, Kevin was in a position of power. I definantly blame the rapist for his crime, but more than him I blame Kevin and Volcom and Epitaph, and everyone else who put money, and business over human decency. I blame everyone in a position of power who looked the other way and let the criminal get away with it.
Kevin Lyman claiming his concern for me on the life of his daughter has burned me since the words came out of his mouth. And if anyone asks me why I waged war on the entire United States of America over this issue, I will tell you right now. It is for her. Because her father was too weak.
Re: Warning: Triggering, graphic talk of rape part 3/3
(Anonymous) 2011-03-30 11:47 pm (UTC)(link)Re: Warning: Triggering, graphic talk of rape part 3/3
(Anonymous) 2011-03-30 11:53 pm (UTC)(link)Re: Warning: Triggering, graphic talk of rape part 3/3
Also she sounds like a really impressive person. I hope she's recovering okay.
Re: Warning: Triggering, graphic talk of rape part 3/3
Re: Warning: Triggering, graphic talk of rape part 3/3
(Anonymous) 2011-03-31 08:02 pm (UTC)(link)Re: Warning: Triggering, graphic talk of rape part 3/3
(Anonymous) 2011-04-02 12:02 am (UTC)(link)Yup
never buying shit from them again.
Man this whole article is so heartbreaking and enraging. I cannot believe the magnitude of Bullshit people will do and say to cover their asses and looks the other way when something like this happens.
Re: Warning: Triggering, graphic talk of rape part 3/3
Don't get me wrong: this reads as very authentic to me. I believe it. I just would like something I can point to when skeptical folks want more evidence than "this sounds depressingly realistic to me."