Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2011-03-30 03:44 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2011-03-30 03:44 pm
[ SECRET POST #1548 ]
⌈ Secret Post #1548 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 095 secrets from Secret Submission Post #221.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
*puts on the cynicism hat*
(Anonymous) 2011-03-30 09:50 pm (UTC)(link)If it doesn't get through to you already, then a bunch of strangers telling you that you deserve it won't either. The reason? Because just like Pink, none of these people know you. They don't know your name, they don't know your history, they don't know what you have or haven't done, the things you blame yourself for, the things you hate yourself for -- and because of that, you'll always dismiss it. It's never going to be enough to get through to you.
What you need is to learn to love yourself for yourself. A song, a bunch of people on the internet -- none of it will change how you feel about yourself because none of it is personal. It's going to be hard. There isn't any easy button to press here, and trying to find the easy way to self-worth is just going to make you despair.
Are you close to your family? If so, talk to them -- if anyone can make you see your worth, it's going to be people who have watched you grow and seen you at your worst and still love you. If not your family, your friends. If not your friends, your teachers, a therapist, anyone who will see the things in you that you hide.
In the meantime, do something you love, create something, write a story, paint a picture, build something -- anything that will make you feel that sense of capability, like you can succeed at something on your own. Build up your confidence in yourself by doing things that you know you can succeed at first, and slowly work your way toward learning new things. Self-loathing loves stagnant waters, and unless you push yourself, you'll never get out of it. No one can do it for you. Others might help you, but it must begin and end with you or it doesn't mean anything.
I'm sorry for going on and on, but asking others to make you feel loved simply doesn't work -- I've tried it and it doesn't. Because when it comes to insecurity and self-loathing, if you can dismiss it, you will, and I know that if I had made this secret, I would look at the kind things people have said and think "they're only saying that because I asked them to."
I almost didn't post this because I have this awful feeling that I'm going to get torn apart for being cynical instead of just giving the OP what she's asking for, but I just don't feel like that's what the OP really needs and I can't stay silent about this, I just can't.
Re: *puts on the cynicism hat*
(Anonymous) 2011-03-30 09:56 pm (UTC)(link)Re: *puts on the cynicism hat*
Re: *puts on the cynicism hat*
I don't think anyone could have sung, said, or written it better.