case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2011-04-09 03:42 pm

[ SECRET POST #1558 ]


⌈ Secret Post #1558 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 12 pages, 291 secrets from Secret Submission Post #223.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ], [ 1 - take it to comments ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2011-04-09 09:29 pm (UTC)(link)
from the sound of it, i don't think you're saying you wish you HAD those problems, but rather that your fandom friends make you feel a bit alienated (which isn't really the right word but it's all i can think of right now) or like you don't have any right to talk about YOUR problems because they're not as bad?

because i can kind of understand that. i had a friend who basically had long conversations with me about her awful problems daily/near-daily, and i had to talk her out of suicide dozens of times. i emotionally exhausted myself trying to support her, and though i have my problems like everyone else they weren't nearly on the same scale as her's, and it's so hard to help somebody when you have no idea what it's like for them (and they refuse to get therapy). i did try to talk to her about my problems, but she often either directed it to her's or just straight sat there trying to one-up me. she was my closest friend at the time, online and off, and i still felt like i couldn't really let anything out to her, because my problems weren't "bad enough" to let her know.

i don't know if that's the kind of thing you meant or not, though.

also lj is a dick i hope this doesn't post a million times

(Anonymous) 2011-04-09 09:45 pm (UTC)(link)
oh, adding that this certainly doesn't mean these people should keep it to themselves or risk being ~total buzzkillz~. they should obviously talk about it as much as they need to! just, i was in an unhealthy situation, and if that's the sort of thing you're dealing with thennnn it might be good for you to try to move on...? (though in my case my friend threatened to commit suicide if i stopped being her friend, so i had to just wait for us to grow apart naturally.)

(Anonymous) 2011-04-09 11:40 pm (UTC)(link)
I had a vary similar friend, right down to the "refusing to get therapy" part. Every single time I had a problem, there was no way I could talk to her about it, because she would immediately go off on how whatever problems she had were worse. :/ We don't talk a lot anymore, and honestly? I'm ok with that.

(Anonymous) 2011-04-10 05:57 pm (UTC)(link)
I had one of those too - for years, every time he contacted me, it was full of what seemed like genuine interest in continuing our former close friendship, but it always ended with me having to ban his accounts from my journals and so on multiple times due to the flaming and trolling. After not banning new accounts that he created to apologize, and then having to ban them after all after another round, I just stopped responding.

Still feel bad about that, but I can't help him. He made that clear, even if he kept forgetting.