Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2011-04-09 03:42 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2011-04-09 03:42 pm
[ SECRET POST #1558 ]
⌈ Secret Post #1558 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 12 pages, 291 secrets from Secret Submission Post #223.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ], [ 1 - take it to comments ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2011-04-09 10:38 pm (UTC)(link)- one has a physically abusive parent;
- one had (past tense) a sexually abusive parent;
- two have, in a slightly unsettling parallel, a history of ill health, plus two chronically ill parents they are the only available caretaker of, meaning they can't even get a stable, full-time job, and as a result live in abject poverty;
- one is a closet trans person with a history of self-harming and suffers from severe social anxiety and depressive episodes;
- one is doomed to a lifetime of inexplicable and therefore incurable agony after a medical mistake made in early childhood;
- one was born with foetal alcohol syndrom and as a result will have to rely on a drug coctail all their life just to keep them somewhat emotionally stable;
- one comes from a criminal family and was recently almost murdered by a relative with a grudge.
Me? I... had no friends for a couple of years because nobody shared my weird hobbies, and some of the kids in my class would make fun of me for it. My dog was run over when I was little. My mother threw my favorite video game in the trash by accident.
This is not a complaint. I love my online friends to death and am always willing to listen, which is mutual. I don't feel like they're using their suffering to get pitied and will backhand anyone who implies they do. I don't wish I had anything to "match up" to them. Et cetera et cetera. But yeah. When my FTM friend's parents have just kicked him out of the house with a couple of broken bones as a parting gift, while at the same time another's parent had to be rushed to the emergency room because of a recurring infection, and another had recently admitted to having suicidal thoughts... me not knowing how to make new friends very well, or failing my driver's test because I'm chickenshit, or not being appreciative of my father's "risqué" sense of humor, seems kind of insubstantial. What kind of bitch would I be to come to them complaining about THAT while they're at the edge of despair and should ideally be smothered in fluffy bunnies? I'm shy and not very assertive. Sometimes, it simply feels like the only decent thing for me to do is keep my trap shut about my own problems and support them through theirs.
TL;DR, will everyone please stop screeching PRIVILIGE at the top of their lungs and acknowledge that unequal levels of misery are just awkward to deal with sometimes?
no subject
no subject
So when people are posting crap like, "Oh, I went to get my hair cut today, and I had the bitchiest stylist who cut it all wrong!" or whatever, I LOVE that. It's nice to bitch about "smaller" things (I mean, it feels good getting things off your chest, right? and "smaller" things CAN be got off your chest), and I like commiserating with them. I know it's nice to have someone to bitch with when I'M complaining about "petty" things. So I'm very happy to be there to go, "OMG notheydidn't!"
And if they've got slightly larger problems (I think someone's mentioned student loan issues), I am happy to sympathize with them, too. If I'm thinking about THEIR issues, I'm not thinking about mine, after all. That's a nice switch. Plus, they're my friends - why wouldn't I care?
I think it would be one thing to be going to individual friends who may be overloaded with stress and asking to lean on their shoulder; but posting something in your journal? Nobody's forced to reply, after all.