[ SECRET POST #1562 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1562 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

oh god stop using red text on jpegs

also, now affiliated with pkmnsecret! Check em out if you're interested. (:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 109 secrets from Secret Submission Post #223.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[a-better-thing.livejournal.com]

But... but surely if you're into BDSM it's because you enjoy the pain/humiiation (if you're a sub) - I'm sorry if I've got it wrong, it's not one of my kinks, but I assumed that that was the point; you get sexual pleasure from the pain/humiliation/degradation - surely that's why it's a fetish?

It seems like your comment is saying that not enjoying sex is ok if you consent which to me implies a lot of problems. Apologies if my reading comprehension is fail, I'm quite tired.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

Both pain and humiliation are very general concepts. There are different degrees of pain and humiliation, every sub has different likes and dislikes, different levels of pain tolerance (which can also strongly depend on the dom they're with and the scene) etc. So, yeah, being a sub, being into humiliation and/or pain doesn't mean that you enjoy all kinds of pain and humiliation. You can perfectly enjoy yourself, but then reach a point where the pain gets too much and turns from arousing into straightforward painful. And many BDSM fics use that theme: a BDSM fic starts out fun, but then the sub suddenly freaks out, is in too much pain, panics etc.

[a-better-thing.livejournal.com]

Ah, ok - thank you for the clarification :)

*needs to stop talking about things she doesn't fully understand when half-asleep*

[citrinesunset.livejournal.com]

Honestly, I think it depends. There are different types of BDSM relationships, and ultimately, I tend to look at them in terms of whether they're fulfilling and good whether than if they're enjoyable. Because honestly, there may be times when something isn't "enjoyable" in a strict sense.

A lot of people (like me) are more into roleplay and the sadism/masochism and bondage/discipline aspects of BDSM, and in those situations, yes, getting off and enjoying yourself are big motivators. But I'm also not submissive.

Other people are more interested in the dominance/submission aspect of BDSM, and for some submissive people, the fulfillment is less about sexual pleasure than it is about being in a relationship where they can serve and submit to their dominant partner. And that's where "enjoyment" can get tricky, because for some people, submitting means doing more than just the particular things that get them off. For example, maybe the sub doesn't like doing dishes. But if their dom tells them to do them, they might not want to be "able" to say, "I hate doing the dishes. Why don't you do them and I'll vacuum, instead?" Maintaining the dominant and submissive roles in the relationship may be more important to them than enjoying everything their dom has them do. So the key becomes building a relationship where their desires and limits match up enough so that they can both be happy and have fun while also having those roles in place.