case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2011-04-13 04:11 pm

[ SECRET POST #1562 ]


⌈ Secret Post #1562 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

oh god stop using red text on jpegs

also, now affiliated with [livejournal.com profile] pkmnsecret! Check em out if you're interested. (:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 109 secrets from Secret Submission Post #223.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

[identity profile] fm-gatekeeper.livejournal.com 2011-04-14 05:19 pm (UTC)(link)
To me it's about the equivalent of just nodding and saying 'okay' when someone claims "I am bipolar, I have all the symptoms" yet they have never been actually diagnosed

...Except, see, I've had people do this, and that's exactly what I did. I tend to think people are going to know more about their own mental state than I do. Now take "mental state" and insert gender, sexuality, whatever.

Honestly, it's opinions like this that are the reason why I almost never tell anyone I'm bisexual. It's a slightly different issue, but not vastly so--not too long ago, alternate (and by that I mean not heterosexual) sexualities were considered disorders by a large percentage of the populous (and many, many people still think that). I've been told that by telling people I'm bisexual, I'm attention-seeking, just trying to be "edgy," or just haven't accepted my "true" sexuality--basically, the same kind of crap trans people have to deal with all the time. Half the time I publicly identify as a lesbian just to avoid having to deal with all the crap (and since I'm in a long-term relationship with a fellow female individual, that's what most people would assume anyway). I wish I actually was a lesbian. It'd be easier. And bisexuality is still much more accepted than transexuality, so I can't even imagine what they go through.

Regardless, people know themselves better than you do. The point at which you should start using "he" or "she" is the point at which they request it. It's not an easy thing to have to request, so the fact that they've gotten to the point where they are, in fact, asking you to do so says something about the strength of their own feelings on the matter. I don't think people should jump down other peoples' throats for using the wrong pronoun, but a simple exchange like this?

Person 1: *uses opposite of preferred pronoun*
Person 2: Actually, it's s/he.
Person 1: Oh, sorry. *repeats sentence with preferred pronoun*

I don't see a problem with that.

Personally, I would rather use a person's preferred pronoun out of simple empathy and respect for that person and transpeople in general. Maybe sometimes I'll call someone by a pronoun that they later decide they don't prefer after all, but I'd rather do that than continue refusing to call someone by their preferred pronoun because there's a chance that they'll change their mind (which I understand that you've said you wouldn't do, anyway).

Just my two cents.