fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1563 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1563 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

__________________________________________________

08.

__________________________________________________

09.

__________________________________________________

10.

__________________________________________________

11.

__________________________________________________

12.

__________________________________________________

13.

__________________________________________________

14.

__________________________________________________

15.

__________________________________________________

16.

__________________________________________________

17.

__________________________________________________

18.

__________________________________________________

19.

__________________________________________________

20.

__________________________________________________

21.

__________________________________________________

22.

__________________________________________________

23.

__________________________________________________

24.

__________________________________________________

25.

__________________________________________________

26.

__________________________________________________

27.

__________________________________________________

28.

__________________________________________________

29.

__________________________________________________

30.

__________________________________________________

31.

__________________________________________________

32.

__________________________________________________

33.

__________________________________________________

34.

__________________________________________________

35.

__________________________________________________

36.

__________________________________________________

37.

__________________________________________________

38.

__________________________________________________

39.

__________________________________________________

40.

__________________________________________________

41.

__________________________________________________

42.

__________________________________________________

43.

__________________________________________________

44.

__________________________________________________

45.

__________________________________________________

46.

__________________________________________________

47.

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 058 secrets from Secret Submission Post #223.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I, um... I have always felt uncomfortable about AS.

There are some people I know at my university (both male and female) who could pass for neuro-typical, but who occasionally make asses of themselves in class discussions and dorm hallway meetings. I complained about this behavior once to a friend, and she said that the professors and RAs excuse their behavior because they've been diagnosed with AS. In other words, I was being a jerk for judging them negatively for behavior they couldn't control. But still - they were (and still are, on occasion) assholes.

On one hand, it's obviously not the position of the disadvantaged to accommodate the privileged, and the tone argument is never, ever appropriate. On the other hand, it feels condescending to hold someone with low-level AS to a different standard of behavior, especially when their behavior viably causes other people discomfort.

To give a concrete example, why is someone formally diagnosed AS - who is smart enough and otherwise well-adjusted enough to get into college - allowed to call a woman a dumb bitch in class? That just feels wrong to me.

It seems like a sensitive topic, so I've never really discussed it with anyone. I guess this isn't really what the OP is talking about, but this seems like a good opportunity to ask people for advice and reading suggestions. Yay anonymity?

I was diagnosed with AS at a young age but I NEVER got away with being rude or inappropriate on account of it.

The professors and RAs are doing it wrong.

Being an Aspie does not the right to be an asshole give.

This. I went to a college for the learning disabled and while the staff was understanding, it was never an excuse. It's kind of hard to pull then "But I have [x]" when half the campus also has [x].

Also, when you live within that type of community, you find that people can still be simple assholes. I knew several people that even if they didn't have AS, they would still be assholes. It had nothing to do with what they were diagnosed with.

Completely, completely off topic, but I have a close family member who has been considering an LD college, and I've never met anyone who has attended one before (assuming seeing a random anon comment counts as "meeting"). If you don't feel comfortable answering this, please just ignore me completely, I know I'm being incredibly intrusive, but I hate to not at least ask...

Would you recommend such an institution to anyone with a learning disability, even if they think they can get along fine with minimal accommodations in a non-LD-focused school, or would you say it's more for those with more "severe" problems? I'm not really sure how to phrase it... I have been pushing him to go check it out, but he thinks he would feel out of place, and that it would make him more dependent on accommodations (when he is used to getting by without in most cases). He also might be a little self-conscious about the whole thing...

Also, would you say it was a good experience overall? Do you think your experience there was much more beneficial than the experience you had in high school?

Sorry again for the intrusion, it would just be so cool to get an opinion from someone who had this type of educational experience but *isn't* being paid by the school to say how awesome it is. And again, feel free to tell me to fuck off if you want:)

Actually having Aspergers is not the same as self-diagnosing with Aspergers on the internet.

It's my experience that it's ususally not that hard to tell whether someone is actually on the spectrum or appropriating a disorder to be a jerk.

You're so right...

hi. question.
I self-diagnosed with AS on the internet after about three months of researching the topic, visiting AS forums and asking people questions about it, etc.
While seeing a psychiatrist for other issues, I brought this up, we went through the DSM-IV criteria, and he said that yeah, I likely have it
But he didn't bother with making it official since I wasn't there about that anyway.
Am I allowed to claim I have AS, or do I still fall under the category of self-diagnosed fakers on the internet?

Hey, you're not a faker, but if this is something important in your life, I'd urge you to get an official diagnosis, if only for yourself so you can go from there and get peace of mind. You might in fact not have Asperger's (there are other forms of high functioning autism), or you might be gifted with pseudo-Asperger symptoms. Either way, you're better of knowing.

It's immaterial so long as you don't use either diagnosis/agreement/whatever to excuse being a jerk.

If you self-diagnosed after reading the DSM-IV, then you can make the claim as far as I'm concerned.

But I'd have it made official, just in case you need it to be in the future.

You sound legitimate so you could, but I agree with those who say you should get an official diagnosis.

why is someone formally diagnosed AS - who is smart enough and otherwise well-adjusted enough to get into college - allowed to call a woman a dumb bitch in class?

Oh hell no. Even if the person has been professionally diagnosed with AS- they're still an asshole to have done that.

I have AS and I would much rather people tell me if I'm being inappropriate (in a nice way), otherwise how would I learn. I think it isn't okay the way they behave and even if they are unaware of how socially inappropriate they are acting I don't see the problem of pointing it out to them.

My take is that it's a difficult issue - being an asshole on purpose (when you can help it) isn't acceptable for anybody, and certainly there are people who use their AS an excuse for that, which to me is not ok. On the other hand there are very high-functioning folks with AS, who might appear to get along just fine, but nonetheless have some specific difficulties that might not be obvious to others. They might find it hard to change their behaviour based on social cues, or to understand why certain social rules are necessary, especially if other people (like your lecturers) are making excuses for them instead of giving them advice on how not to be so offensive. For NTs, picking up on social cues comes naturally - they don't even have to think about it. For many people with ASDs that isn't the case; it's a long, hard slog to learn this kind of thing by rote, and in stressful situations that learning can go out of the window.

tl;dr it depends on the individual, and the circumstances - I don't think there are any hard and fast rules. The real test, I'd say, is how the person reacts when (if) they understand they've been offensive and caused somebody else distress. In your example, though, I don't think the professors/RAs are handling things appropriately either way. Cutting people some slack is one thing, but if those folks you know genuinely *aren'*t aware that their behaviour is problematic, letting them just get on with it is doing them a terrible disservice which might limit their future education/employment/relationship options.

To give a concrete example, why is someone formally diagnosed AS - who is smart enough and otherwise well-adjusted enough to get into college - allowed to call a woman a dumb bitch in class?

...They're not. I have Asperger's, and if someone called a woman a dumb bitch then used Asperger's as an excuse, I'd be the first one to protest.

Consider talking to your professors and RAs about this behaviour? Because seriously, that shit is not on. Asperger's is not an excuse to act like a fuckwit, and if the professors and RAs are allowing this, then there's definitely issues there.

[ SECRET POST #1563 ]

Help, please...

Re: Help, please...

Re: Help, please...

Re: Help, please...

Re: Help, please...

Re: Help, please...

Re: Help, please...

Re: Help, please...

Re: Help, please...

Re: Help, please...

Re: Help, please...

Re: Help, please...

Re: Help, please...

Re: Help, please...

Re: Help, please...