fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1574 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1574 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

__________________________________________________

08.

__________________________________________________

09.

__________________________________________________

10.

__________________________________________________

11.

__________________________________________________

12.

__________________________________________________

13.

__________________________________________________

14.

__________________________________________________

15.

__________________________________________________

16.

__________________________________________________

17.

__________________________________________________

18.

__________________________________________________

19.

__________________________________________________

20.

__________________________________________________

21.

__________________________________________________

22.

__________________________________________________

23.

__________________________________________________

24.

__________________________________________________

25.

__________________________________________________

26.

__________________________________________________

27.

__________________________________________________

28.

__________________________________________________

29.

__________________________________________________

30.

__________________________________________________

31.

__________________________________________________

32. http://i51.tinypic.com/2re5e6g.png
[gore]

__________________________________________________

33.

__________________________________________________

34.

__________________________________________________

35. [repeat]

__________________________________________________

36.

__________________________________________________

37.

__________________________________________________

38.

__________________________________________________

39.

__________________________________________________

40.

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 07 pages, 173 secrets from Secret Submission Post #225.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 - too big ], [ 1 - repeats ], [ 1 - unreadable ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Actually I do get what the secret is saying (though I'm not ace). I'm not sure I can express it better than the secret does, but I get it. A person might be in love with their partner and choose to have sex with them but still not feel a sexual desire of their own. I don't find it hard to understand.

(Also, some people do identify as gay or lesbian and still get into relationships with the opposite sex. Some people might say "Oh, they must really be bisexual" but if they don't say it, then, well, they don't.)

Really? You're confused by how if someone said "I'm gay - but I'm dating a woman, am romantically attracted to her, have sex with her all the time, and enjoy it; also I have dated and enjoyed sex with many women in the past" they might ask "...are you sure you're not bisexual?" and if they responded "oh no I'm not sexually attracted to her, I'm romantically attracted to her" they would be hopelessly lost and wonder if the "gay" person wasn't more attached to the label, but would fit better as something else (bisexual in this case)?

This is a lot what a "I have sex with people I'm romantically attracted to all the time and am aroused by it and really enjoy it" asexual sounds like to many *sexuals.

First of all, that's not exactly what the secret says. It seems to be referring mostly to having sex because the partner is not asexual, which yes, I can totally understand.

And I see where someone can masturbate without having a sexual orientation, just like someone can masturbate to fantasies of something they'd never enjoy in real life. (Maybe not the best comparison but it's all I can think of right now.)

As for the example, I might wonder if the person might fit better as bisexual but if the person doesn't think that I have no right to tell them who/what they are.

But I guess the bottom line is that I don't think asexual people really have to explain or justify themselves to me in the first place.

I suppose you're right; if someone who has sex, is aroused by it, and enjoys it wants to identify as asexual it's no business but theirs - my only point is how confusing that is for many *sexuals because it makes them sound exactly like us.

I think what the anon above is getting at, is that they're doing it more for their partners than because they feel the need to have sex.

The biggest difference I've seen between sexual and asexual is sex is generally a considered a *need* for sexuals, where as asexuals, while they might enjoy it, they don't *need* it. The asexuals who masturbate, a lot of them it's basically 'maintenance' more than anything else. Most of the aces I've met, as far as sex is concerned, do it because it fulfills their partner's needs.

Aside note: The largest site concerning Aces [and one of the main references for it] defines an asexual as someone who doesn't feel sexual attraction. Full stop. So I'm not really sure where OP is getting the whole bit about 'desire', if they're going by the most commonly accepted definition. [And yes, I know they may be working from a different definition]

There is that disconnect between personal identity and who people actually go for. Respect what they call themselves, absolutely. It's not like it matters, unless they're a romantic prospect. In which case, yes, the realities of what they actually do and who they do start to matter.

Labels are one thing, but at what point then is an asexual different from any other *sexual when their thoughts/feelings/attitudes about sex are identical?

The difference is... the label they like to give themselves. I think that's about it. It's like two girls who are both mostly into women and wound up having exclusive life long marriages with women, but who have enjoyed sex with men in the past. One calls herself a lesbian, the other bi. Is there really a difference? I think there isn't, but it also doesn't matter.

Hm, when you put it that way, I can see your point. People are always more complicated than the label.

[ SECRET POST #1574 ]

Re: NF

Re: NF

Re: NF

Re: NF

Re: NF

Re: NF

Re: NF

Re: NF

Re: NF