[ SECRET POST #155 ]

[grayout.livejournal.com]

⌈ Secret Post #155 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 114 secrets from Secret Submission Post #023.
Secrets Not Posted: 0 broken links, 0 not!secrets, 0 not!fandom.
Next Secret Post: Tomorrow, Sunday, June 10th, 2007.
Current Secret Submission Post: Here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[jantra.livejournal.com]

Would you do me an honest favor, seeing as so far you're the only one on this posting that seems willing to discuss with me and post from your LJ?

Could you please actually read the first chapter of Synergy and tell me if you think it's the same as LF? I'd very grateful if you could give me an honest response.

[fairness.livejournal.com]

I attempted to read the first chapter of your fanfic, but in all honesty it bored me. Sorry. The characters still sound OOC- it still felt more like someone's original fiction than anything KH related- and I noticed several grammatical/structural errors that just seemed careless.

[jantra.livejournal.com]

Can you explain how the characters in Synergy are OOC? Just saying they are... doesn't help me how to improve them, sadly.

[fairness.livejournal.com]

They just don't act like their canon counterparts at all. I'm sick and not up to thinking about specific examples but... yeah, you really just don't seem to have a very good grasp on their personalities. Maybe try replaying KHII/CoM?

[jantra.livejournal.com]

When you are feeling better, I would be very, very honored if you could explain some specific examples? No rush, but I like to know what someone else's thoughts are, since no one seems to be really willing to tell me details.

[fairness.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, but I really don't think I'd be the right person for the job. Your writing style is very flowery and overdone, and I can't get into the fic. At all. One thing I did notice was that all the character talk similarly - I get no sense of individualism or personality out of their dialogue. Xemnas biting Saix also really struck me as being something Xemnas would never do; though, I've also never understood the appeal of making Saix really animalistic.

I really would advise you to find a beta. I know there would be a lot of people who know Kingdom Hearts II canon a lot better than I do (I'm not really in the fandom anymore, like I said) and who have a lot more patience than I do.