Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2011-05-04 07:46 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2011-05-04 07:46 pm
[ SECRET POST #1583 ]
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 83 secrets from Secret Submission Post #226.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 2 3 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 - too big ], [ 0 - hit/ship/spiration ], [ 0 - omgiknowthem ], [ 0 - take it to comments ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2011-05-05 05:23 pm (UTC)(link)well, your rape was "better" because you're white and not a slave
YES. IT WOULD BE BETTER. Also your focus on the white woman pain - which was not present in the original scenario, it was just about slaves - is mindboggling. You don't have to "that one is better" just "THIS ONE IS WAY WORSE." This is not remotely hard.
A rape where a person was set on FIRE would be worse than a rape were someone wasn't, because the trauma experienced by the victim would be a different. A father raping his child would likely be WAY WORSE than a rape from a stranger, even if the exact amount of pain was experienced because it would impact the victim differently. I mean this is just logic.
It's incredibly fucking gross how you're trying to equalize all rapes because,
because you're white and not a slave".
Yes, it's ~super important~ to acknowledge that white people suffer. Of course they suffer. You just talked to a rape victim above who was just fine with acknowledging that rape as a slave would've been a WAY WORSE experience. That doesn't DEMEAN a rape where the person isn't a slave. The only way you could possibly think that is in this hypothetical discussion where you're crafting different victims in your mind and think it's really important that we acknowledge both of them equally. Victims don't go around wanting their rape to be the most important rape, and no other rape can be more traumatizing than theirs or it means that they didn't suffer.
You're using elementary-level logic to solve a very complex problem and it's boggling my mind.
A guy accidentally landing on a iPod is just the same as him getting raped! The pain is the same in the moment, isn't it!!
It's very clearly a completely different scenario, a different situation and different degrees of pain. EVERYTHING in the slave scenario is worse. "But the pain of the attack is the same :)" okay. That's so inconsequential it's almost off topic.
tw: rape, incest
(Anonymous) 2011-05-07 12:39 pm (UTC)(link)I guess my main problem with this comment is it feels too much like you're speaking for all rape victims. Which is obviously impossible. And kind of bothersome.
As a rape victim, talking about how much worse certain rapes are than others, while discussing a secret where rape was listed as okay to fantasize about basically, definitely rubbed me the wrong way. And it's not because I think I have it worse than slaves, or because I want my rape to be the most important rape. Just ... in a culture where rape is not taken very seriously and is a very big problem, I don't know why we're arguing about some rapes being way worse than others and gross to fantasize about but others being okay and not at all creepy to anyone to fantasize about.
And to make it clear, I'm actually not talking about the discussion about the rape of a slave, but some of the comments you're making here. "A rape where a person was set on FIRE would be worse than a rape were someone wasn't, because the trauma experienced by the victim would be a different. A father raping his child would likely be WAY WORSE than a rape from a stranger" Stuff like that kinda bothers me. Especially when you say that it's "just logic." Idk I feel that it IS dismissive of real rape victims who feel differently as just as crazy and illogical as they're often told they are.
I am willing to acknowledge that the rape of a slave probably would be way worse than most people who are "free" (there are a few situations other than what we commonly think of as slavery in which I would describe the person as not at all free, but perhaps those could be described accurately as slavery too so maybe this is a completely moot point) because though I am a POC and have experienced racism I have never experienced anything even remotely close to slavery for any prolonged period of time.
But as someone who has been raped several different times, I disagree with your other statements being so broad and implying that anyone who doesn't feel the same way is not a rape victim or isn't being logical.
I was raped by my grandfather. Many times. I was also raped by a stranger. For me, the rape by the stranger was worse. And that rape by a stranger didn't involve being set on fire or anything, but yet another rape by an abusive boyfriend did burn me and I still don't find it as hard to cope with as the rape by a stranger. I'm not saying that I'm right, and that's how everybody should see such situations, but I am saying that I think such generalizations aren't true and to say it's "just logic" does dismiss the feelings and experiences of real rape victims.
To me, the rape by a stranger had longer lasting hurt and deeper implications because it happened began in a public place I thought was safe. The idea that this could happen to me anywhere, even when others were around me, made me more depressed and terrified than anything else. The other times had been while I was alone, and I consoled myself by surrounding myself with trusted friends and feeling safer. A random stranger being able to get to me in a situation where I expected to be protected by others was shattering and made me stop feeling safe anywhere. Not to mention that though it only happened once by this man, not as many times as by my grandfather, but those attacks had been shorter, and I had not feared for my life as I did when I was raped by a stranger for 10 consecutive hours and prevented from escaping for the entirety of that time, after having been forcefully removed from a supposedly safe public location.
And I know rape can hurt for many more reasons than just physical pain, but for me that was also a factor. The rapes that hurt less and healed were easier to forget and disassociate from. The anal rape by a stranger that leaves me when bleeding when I use the bathroom is impossible for me to forget.
I'm not trying to jump on you and I am not mad at your or anything. I just think it's worth considering that there are many sides to a story and many interpretations of an experience, and there are many many details and factors that influence how someone will feel about a terrible experience, and so broad generalizations may not be helpful or true.