I'm sorry, were we competing? You asked a question. I gave an answer. If I seemed short with you, I apologize. It was very late, I was very tired (plus I've got a chest cold kicking my ass). So, sorry.
Thought we were discussing mockery of things that are actually controversial, but I guess someone here has lost the thread of the actual conversation.
I'm guessing that someone is me, but in my head, it made sense. Warnings are controversial. What to warn for is controversial. "Warnings creep" is an actual thing people express concern about every time the debate comes back up. ("If I warn for rape, character death, eating disorders, animal abuse, insert other common trigger here, people will start asking me for warnings for beach balls or the color orange! So I don't believe in warnings at all!" Yes, that really happened. (http://zvi.dreamwidth.org/528976.html?format=light))
After you've spent years and years defending yourself with the best-thought arguments you can express and getting back nothing but a pile-on of, "you're a horrible person, kill yourself" - unanon, mind you, people proud of those opinions and not trolling - you'd come back with ten letters eventually, too. I am pretty much at that point nowadays.
I am genuinely sorry that that has happened to you. For what it's worth, I don't think you're a horrible person because you have a kink that isn't kinky for everyone. (I don't want to suggest yours is a trigger when I don't know what it is- and you are not obligated to tell me what it is. Hi, we're strangers.) And I think anyone who tells anyone else to kill themselves- whether they're anonymous or not- is a horrible person.
But I think we're coming at this from completely different experiences in fandom.
Mine has been that kink is fandom's sacred cow and expressing discomfort with a kink (even if it's in a locked, cut, warned post on my own journal not naming any names or providing any links) will result in people telling me, "Don't judge" or "Don't shame." It counts as judging or shaming to say, "This hurts" somewhere well away from the person whose kink it is? How can that be?
And that...gets exhausting.
I'm Jewish. I live in a part of my country where Antisemitism actually is a part of my daily life. In fact, given that I'm religiously a convert (ethnically Sephardi on my mother's mother's side) whose parents practice something else, Antisemitism is part of interacting with my family and their friends.
For me, Holocaust kink AUs are not awesome. They hurt. People eroticizing the torture of Jews does, y'know, bad things to my mind. And sure, I can choose not to read; I do choose not to read. But quietly wishing behind my own locked door that this wouldn't occur unwarned for in places I hang out ('cause it does- oh, G-d, it does), being told that I'm shaming someone feels like being stabbed in the heart. I live in a world where a stranger's ability to get off on something that hurts me is more important to some people- people I've liked and trusted, for that matter- than my ability to live my life without feeling like people out there really hate people like me. (Yes, I know, having a Nazi kink doesn't mean someone is an Antisemite. ...but it does mean people are getting off on the concept of other people being Antisemites, and that's a pretty awful feeling, too.)
And at that point, I'm not experiencing this as a difference of opinion. I'm experiencing it as part of the pattern of discrimination. And I'm not the only one.
People (http://fandomsecrets.livejournal.com/645587.html?thread=411237075#t411237075) mock (http://fandomsecrets.livejournal.com/645587.html?thread=411694803#t411694803) that. (http://fandomsecrets.livejournal.com/645587.html?thread=411384275#t411384275) Not only do they mock it, they use it as fuel for hate speech. (http://fandomsecrets.livejournal.com/645587.html?thread=411209683#t411209683)
no subject
I'm sorry, were we competing? You asked a question. I gave an answer. If I seemed short with you, I apologize. It was very late, I was very tired (plus I've got a chest cold kicking my ass). So, sorry.
Thought we were discussing mockery of things that are actually controversial, but I guess someone here has lost the thread of the actual conversation.
I'm guessing that someone is me, but in my head, it made sense. Warnings are controversial. What to warn for is controversial. "Warnings creep" is an actual thing people express concern about every time the debate comes back up. ("If I warn for rape, character death, eating disorders, animal abuse, insert other common trigger here, people will start asking me for warnings for beach balls or the color orange! So I don't believe in warnings at all!" Yes, that really happened. (http://zvi.dreamwidth.org/528976.html?format=light))
After you've spent years and years defending yourself with the best-thought arguments you can express and getting back nothing but a pile-on of, "you're a horrible person, kill yourself" - unanon, mind you, people proud of those opinions and not trolling - you'd come back with ten letters eventually, too. I am pretty much at that point nowadays.
I am genuinely sorry that that has happened to you. For what it's worth, I don't think you're a horrible person because you have a kink that isn't kinky for everyone. (I don't want to suggest yours is a trigger when I don't know what it is- and you are not obligated to tell me what it is. Hi, we're strangers.) And I think anyone who tells anyone else to kill themselves- whether they're anonymous or not- is a horrible person.
But I think we're coming at this from completely different experiences in fandom.
Mine has been that kink is fandom's sacred cow and expressing discomfort with a kink (even if it's in a locked, cut, warned post on my own journal not naming any names or providing any links) will result in people telling me, "Don't judge" or "Don't shame." It counts as judging or shaming to say, "This hurts" somewhere well away from the person whose kink it is? How can that be?
And that...gets exhausting.
I'm Jewish. I live in a part of my country where Antisemitism actually is a part of my daily life. In fact, given that I'm religiously a convert (ethnically Sephardi on my mother's mother's side) whose parents practice something else, Antisemitism is part of interacting with my family and their friends.
For me, Holocaust kink AUs are not awesome. They hurt. People eroticizing the torture of Jews does, y'know, bad things to my mind. And sure, I can choose not to read; I do choose not to read. But quietly wishing behind my own locked door that this wouldn't occur unwarned for in places I hang out ('cause it does- oh, G-d, it does), being told that I'm shaming someone feels like being stabbed in the heart. I live in a world where a stranger's ability to get off on something that hurts me is more important to some people- people I've liked and trusted, for that matter- than my ability to live my life without feeling like people out there really hate people like me. (Yes, I know, having a Nazi kink doesn't mean someone is an Antisemite. ...but it does mean people are getting off on the concept of other people being Antisemites, and that's a pretty awful feeling, too.)
And at that point, I'm not experiencing this as a difference of opinion. I'm experiencing it as part of the pattern of discrimination. And I'm not the only one.
People (http://fandomsecrets.livejournal.com/645587.html?thread=411237075#t411237075) mock (http://fandomsecrets.livejournal.com/645587.html?thread=411694803#t411694803) that. (http://fandomsecrets.livejournal.com/645587.html?thread=411384275#t411384275) Not only do they mock it, they use it as fuel for hate speech. (http://fandomsecrets.livejournal.com/645587.html?thread=411209683#t411209683)
TL;DR- yeah. It happens.