fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1592 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1592 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[BSG]

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04.

[Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds]

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05.

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06.

[Supernatural]

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08.

[Glee]

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09. [repeat]

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10.

[Once Upon A Time In Mexico]

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11.

[Breakout Kings]

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12.

[Supernatural]

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13.

[Ano Hi Mita Hana no Namae o Bokutachi wa Mada Shiranai]

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14.

[Invasion America]

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15.

[Zork Nemesis]

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16.

[Waiting for Godot and Good Omens]

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17.

[Withnail & I]

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18.

[Gorillaz]

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19.

[The Young Riders]

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20.

[Pride & Prejudice]

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21.

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22.

[Shantae: Risky's Revenge]

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23.

[bbc sherlock (lestrade)]

[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

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24. [SPOILERS for Supernatural]

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25. [SPOILERS for Ghost Trick]

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26. [SPOILERS for Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey]

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27. [SPOILERS for Death Note]

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28. [SPOILERS for the Tudors]

29. [SPOILERS for Transformers: Dark of the Moon]

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30. [SPOILERS for Portal 2]

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31. [SPOILERS for Portal 2]

[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

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32. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape, abuse]

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33. [TRIGGER WARNING for abuse/sexual assault]

[Glee]

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34. [SPOILERS for Doctor Who]
[TRIGGER WARNING for parent death?]

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35. [TRIGGER WARNING for ]

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36. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape, racism, abuse, and pedophilia]

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37. [TRIGGER WARNING for self-harm]

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38. [TRIGGER WARNING for sexual abuse]

[Kuroshitsuji II]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #227.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I am not saying that anyone has the right to not be upset. I am saying that if someone says "I am upset by this", there are much better ways to deal with that then to tell them to gdiaf for being judgmental, which is almost always the immediate response. Fandom is often in a public (well, internet public) space, and everyone is eventually going to come across something they don't like. This could be an opportunity for discussion, but it generally turns into a "let's shame the people who don't like our kink" fest. Saying "I understand you have issues, but I happen to enjoy this" should not be that hard.

But the thing about saying "I'm upset about this" often turns messy, and I think that's a lot of the problem. Fandom is public, as you said, but going onto a kink meme, reading a labeled fic of X kink and saying "this disgusts me, how could you" is just...well, silly. No one is putting a gun to your head and forcing you to read kinks you don't like, and proclaiming "I DON'T LIKE THIS" to fics with warnings attached, or a discussion of a kink with warnings attached, is just as ridiculous as the people proclaiming "EVERYONE WHO HATES OUR KINK IS STUPID"

It does get messy. Definitely not denying that there are jerks on the anti-whatever kind of kink side as well, I've seen them go off as well as the other kind. (Especially stupid are the ones who go where they KNOW they'll be triggered, then complain about it.) But the thing that annoys me is the idea that anyone who doesn't like a kink should not be allowed to express their thoughts on it (I think that's OP's deal here.) If I has a right to say "I get off on XXX", then you have an equal right to say "I find XXX really disturbing and I don't like it." A lot of people seem to feel that someone's saying "I hate this kink" is the same as saying "I hate you, you suck and are evil", which granted sometimes does seem to be the case but not always. It's like saying "I hate XXX manga" versus "I hate XXX manga's fans"; there's a difference there, but sometimes the fans don't differentiate. And a lot of people seem to believe that people who don't like certain kinks are not entitles to say anything about it at all, even though the kink-haters' opinions, thoughts and feelings are exactly as valid as the kink-defenders'.

Ah, yes, we're in agreement then. That's my whole problem with kink shaming. It's fine if you say "I don't like X kink" but it's not fine to say "If you like X kink, you are a horrible, horrible person." And it's not fine to jump on the people who merely say the former.

I should add that if someone deliberately comments on a labeled fic or drawing and says "I don't like this" that's equally ridiculous because it was labeled and there is no reason to go out of your way to tell someone you don't like something. Saying it on your own personal journal or a discussion that asks for both sides? A-okay.

Edited 2011-05-14 01:06 (UTC)

Yeah, there's a big difference between "I hate XXX" and "I hate all fans of XXX." People whose kinks are unpopular tend to confuse the two statements a lot. Granted you do get people sounding off with the latter, but even when they're saying the former it's often interpreted as the latter.
I never understood why someone would comment on anything just to say "this sucks." Why bother? If you don't like it, don't look at it! That's how I operate and it rarely backfires. I don't care who gets off on what lol. I just think that when I disapprove of something, I have exactly as much right to say so as the person who likes it has to say they like it.

I guess people just don't know how to scroll past something, or how to not click on LJ cuts.

I have never seen a community or forum site where it wasn't a rule to put your fics under cut along with a summery. Same for art that is NWS. Also sites like Y-Gallery and FA have filters you can apply.

I don't understand why people feel the NEED to tell someone when they don't like something every-single-time.

It's like saying, "PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEE!"...it DOES get annoying, so it's no wonder the kink-writers/drawers get annoyed back at these people who have to inform them they don't-like-something.

Yeah, we know. You have to be either stupid or self-entitled not to know what humblebot said: That something is always going to upset someone.

Speaking of scrolling past, you don't appear to have actually read most of what I've written here. I don't care who gets off on what. I do care that people are civil to each other, and that BOTH sides get to say what they think. I do not like it when either side is told to shut up as a knee-jerk reaction. I don't read what I don't like. I ignore it. I think that people who go looking at things they find disturbing and then complain about it are morons. I also think that if something is posted on a public forum, such as this one, both sides have an equal right to express their views on it, and NEITHER side has the right to be a jerk about it.

This. This this this.
Sorry that some people here are too unfair to actually read your comments :/

well, there are some people on this comm who will get into any kind of argument and not bother to read what the other person is writing, just to argue a point that isn't even necessarily in the argument. I tend to attract this type because I'm often loud and obnoxious, but I'm never surprised by it since I see it all over the place.

[ SECRET POST #1592 ]

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Get off yourself.

Re: Get off yourself.

Re: Get off yourself.

Re: Get off yourself.