case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2011-05-16 07:47 pm

[ SECRET POST #1595 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1595 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 07 pages, 170 secrets from Secret Submission Post #228.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - hit/ship/spiration ], [ 0 - omgiknowthem ], [ 0 - take it to comments ], [ 1 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2011-05-17 12:35 am (UTC)(link)
I've never really understood the whole "coming out" thing, especially with asexuality. I mean, I guess I could see it if people kept trying to pressure you into relationships or something, but otherwise...I don't know. Being asexual really has zero impact in my interactions. I'm 31, I've never dated, never been kissed, never anything. Nobody has ever brought it up. It's just never been something that I've felt pressured about or felt the need to explain.

So this is all tangental and not helpful. Sorry. Just something that's bugged me for awhile.

(Anonymous) 2011-05-17 12:56 am (UTC)(link)
You are incredibly lucky then. You must have a great understanding family and friends.
My family does nothing but tell me I'll grow out of it, trying to set me up, trying to "trick" me into admitting I have sexual urges and that this negates any claim of asexuality.

Not everyone has a great support system, so don't take your life for granted.

(Anonymous) 2011-05-17 01:06 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, it sucks when people who are supposed to support you are like "Don't be silly, of course you're not asexual. I don't think people can even be asexual, I'm sure you just haven't met the right person."


I hope your family wises up soon and realizes how hurtful they are being

(Anonymous) 2011-05-17 01:09 am (UTC)(link)
It's not that I have a support system, I just have people in my life who mind their own business. I've never mentioned me dating, and they've never mentioned me dating. I've always thought it weird when people ask such personal questions. Like, why would you ask about peoples dating and sexual history when the person didn't bring it up? Just seems rude.

And I never said I took my life for granted. I quite like my life, actually, and am thankful for it and the people in it. So...jumping to conclusions, not always a great idea.

[identity profile] frostoria.livejournal.com 2011-05-17 04:51 am (UTC)(link)
Same here. Even though I'm not asexual, I always thought that people would just assume you "haven't found the right person" if you never get married or bring anyone home. So the idea that asexuality is something needs to be confessed seemed kinda strange to me.

OP

(Anonymous) 2011-05-17 09:14 am (UTC)(link)
here, where I live the society is extremely intolerant. May be in your town/country everything is different...
if nobody in the society does not talk about the asexuality, then everybody thinks asexual people do not exist. I believe it is important for the asexual people to declare they exist. I don't like there no publications in the book\newspapers\anywhere about us. we are not represented in the media space... Somebody could tell that's because we are ill or have mental problems, people can be rude and ignorant 'cause they don't have any information about asexuality. Nobody told them that asexuality is not a disorder. I don't have any asexual friends IRL, I feel isolated. I know my straight friends from RL wouldn't think I'm serious.

Re: OP

(Anonymous) 2011-05-17 10:19 pm (UTC)(link)
I like this and I agree. Maybe if asexuality was more visible and accepted I didn't have to hide from my friends and lie to them when they pressure me to share my sexual escapades (I once refused to say anything and their imagination turned me into a total slut. Now I make things up.)

Re: OP

(Anonymous) 2011-05-18 08:38 am (UTC)(link)
oh, I understand you, friend!
pantswarrior: Laguna scratches his head. (huh?)

[personal profile] pantswarrior 2011-05-18 12:00 am (UTC)(link)
Heh, I finally "came out" to my mom awhile back, and she started crying and talking about how she thought I was going to be alone forever and crap like that. Of course the whole reason I came out to her then was to acknowledge that my "roommate" for the last few years was my girlfriend and we were now engaged, and I think that possibly the only reason she could accept that I had a same-sex partner was because she was afraid I'd otherwise be alone.

And the whole thing has made it really awkward to be over at my parents' house, so gee, now I'm kind of wondering why I bothered too. But the fact of the matter is that no one will ever believe ANYONE is asexual if asexual people don't make themselves known, and make it known that they're perfectly content being asexual. And that'll just make it worse for confused asexual kids in the future. So I'm honest whenever anyone asks, or mistakenly assumes I'm a lesbian. It's good for people to know there are options they might not have been aware of, and people who will believe them if they discover one of those options applies to them.

OP

(Anonymous) 2011-05-18 08:40 am (UTC)(link)
i absolutely agree with everything you said! and I happy for you and your partner :D