case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2011-06-15 08:11 pm

[ SECRET POST #1625 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1625 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Sorry it's late. Half of tinypic being down = I have to go through manually and replace the ones that aren't working. Hopefully it'll be back by tomorrow

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 110 secrets from Secret Submission Post #232.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - hit/ship/spiration ], [ 0 - omgiknowthem ], [ 0 - take it to comments ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

[identity profile] silver-coins.livejournal.com 2011-06-16 02:54 pm (UTC)(link)
OP says in the secret that they KNOW their friend is transitioning and still uses female pronouns. They know that the person in question is a man yet refuses to refer to him as such.
Edited 2011-06-16 15:24 (UTC)

[identity profile] kallanda-lee.livejournal.com 2011-06-16 11:08 pm (UTC)(link)
-Yes, and that is an issue of the now, not the then, when the events actually took place. So yes, you can be mad at wrong pronoun use NOW, but not retroactively.

- Also, we do not know the two people in question. From what I gather from the secret; the OP knew said person as a girl for a long time, in a time where they still identified as female (at least offline). They recently re-contacted them and BNF said they are now transitioning.
Perhaps OP, given the past lies of BNF, does not believe they are telling the truth and are saying they are transition to provoke a a pity response.
OP might still be wrong about that, of course, but it would explain the pronoun use.

-There are a lot of things we do not know: Is BNF actually living as a man? Are OTHER people actually referring to him as HE now? Are they actually transitioning or have they said so to excuse their behaviour? Even if true, what are the wishes of the BNF in being referred to?

Also, OP might think pronouns only switch after transitioning - there's a person down the thread who thought so, If I recall correctly. It's a fairly common thing to think. And from what I know conventions on that sort of differ from which culture/generation you are, and from person to person. It's not like everyone is an expert on the subject.

Furthermore, even if the OP fully well knows they are using wrong pronouns, then that still does not take away the fact that they were a victim in the first place. It just means they're responding to douchebaggery with douchebagerry, which in itself is of course a questionable subject, but that is another matter.

[identity profile] silver-coins.livejournal.com 2011-06-16 11:53 pm (UTC)(link)
No one is denying that Op is a victim. Ever.

But responding with basically disrespecting an entire group of people because one of them was a jerk is a shitty thing to do. And none of the reasons given makes it not transphobic.