Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2011-06-20 07:36 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2011-06-20 07:36 pm
[ SECRET POST #1630 ]
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 08 pages, 187 secrets from Secret Submission Post #233.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 1 - take it to comments/wank elsewhere ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2011-06-22 12:57 am (UTC)(link)Use your words. You're not in Kindergarten anymore, you can't get what you want by crying and pointing.
I don't care if yelling dissuades people if their abhorrent behavior. Sometimes, abhorrent behavior deserves being yelled at, and the victim is allowed the satisfaction of yelling, full stop. Your FOCUS being on the spiritual GROWTH of the person in the WRONG is gross. I don't care if they're a horrible member of KKK. I don't care if they've really truly misspoke. I'm not their fucking mother, I'm the person they were just harmful and offensive to, and I don't CARE to teach them a lesson and make sure it sticks. I'd never be able to care about anything ELSE ever again if I had to become the personal fucking mentor to every person who thought "CHING CHONG CHING CHONG XD" was the height of humor.
You do realize that in the time people spend writing up paragraphs and essays about how my motives are caused by me being brainwashed by society into seeing the white heterosexual male being lifted onto a pedestal and me being okay with this is just a function of growing up in this society (which, again, these people have no clue who I am or where I'm from, they don't know what society I'm part of)
And those essays? If they're not about YOU then you don't have to apply them to YOU. Do you think there's anywhere that it does apply? If yes, then the essay is valid. If you think they're wrong, either ~ignore them~ or create a discussion, but don't do it like the entire essay was a personal attack on ~you~ if they were just using the general ~you~ goddamn.
I find it really hilarious that you use this phrasing "We will fight back" - which doesn't exactly involve the polite, calm/OR IGNORING recourse you were saying should be applied to confronting ignorant, hurtful people. But "fighting back tooth and nail" is appropriate when it involves you, and someone calling you bigoted, because that is the real offense that needs to be addressed.
Also, I have been dogpiled online multiple times, and no, it wasn't pleasant. Two of the times made me flounce from two different communities, in retrospect I realize I was wrong in once case, but it was absolutely harmless in the other. So no, I don't think being "dogpiled" by SJers is pleasant, or always in the right. But the amount of BAWING I see over this is ridiculous. Absolutely fucking ridiculous. I haven't seen this much childish sobbing since working at a daycare. "THEY SAID I HAD A BOOGER BRAIN BAWW" Do you have a booger brain? No? Okay then.
no subject
And yes, that might indeed have been a condescending tone. But again, if people are acting childishly towards me, surprise, I will treat them like a child. Revolutionary thinking, isn't it?
I can understand that racist and offensive jokes such as that are more harmful and annoying than they are EVER funny, and I'm sorry you have to put up with dumbasses being dumbasses. But I don't believe in jumping on somebody for every slight and every offense - accidents do happen, you already agreed that sometimes it's really an innocent slip. And you've also agreed that, when you're in that situation, it sucks. And I have to ask, when you're dogpiling people, do you stop to consider for a second that you MIGHT be accusing a perfectly nice and considerate person of being a privileged prejudiced smartass little punk, or do you just go at it with the blind conviction that they are, in fact, an irredeemable ethnocentric prick? And even if you don't actively engage in the dogpiling yourself, do you think those who do take the time to consider that they don't know the person they're all teaming up against?
Again, I'm not saying that things don't need to change. But if you consider yourself an activist for social justice, then it seems to me you've already taken up the burden. Even if you don't go out of your way to make sure everybody's fully informed, as I understand it, the point of "social justice" is to seek a more open-minded, less prejudiced environment. This isn't something that can be sought out with blind rage and vengeful tones. This is something that needs to be taught. Because if all you're after is yelling and bitching and making yourself feel better, that's not social justice, that's not activism, that's not helpful to the world at all. It's just more noise.
And for the record, yes, their demi-essays were directed at me and written about their interpretation of who I was based, sometimes, on a single sentence. These weren't even insults, bad jokes, hurtful names, no. These sentences have occasionally been as minor as my personal preference between two characters. Two characters, in fact, whose only differences were entirely superficial and physical. This was a personal attack on me, as a single individual. Yes, I felt the need to defend my character, because I refuse to be judged based on their preconceived notions.
Oh, did I just hit a tender spot? That wording sounds familiar... Possibly because that's what you seem to be facing, yourself, if I understand your implications. And here's the kicker: I "fought back" by explaining patiently for at least half a day how their assumptions were incorrect, baseless, insulting, irrelevant, or some combination thereof. Admittedly, as is happening here, my tone occasionally dipped into the sardonic and irritable tones of someone who is frustrated at having to repeat herself, but I started out very polite and calm, and only descended into frustration when diplomacy was once again apparently less than effective.
And no, not everybody's me. And I don't expect people to go to the lengths that I do (or beyond, like some others) to deal with every idiot that passes their way, but is it really too much to ask that people try - OCCASIONALLY - at least starting out with even a single decently polite sentence, rather than ALWAYS bombarding a completely innocent thought with full essays or name-calling or just outright yelling?