case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2011-07-26 08:09 pm

[ SECRET POST #1666 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1666 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Posting these up without comment threads so you can see them at least, if LJ stops breaking. Working on getting the threads up



Secrets Left to Post: 06 pages, 150 secrets from Secret Submission Post #238.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 2 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2011-07-27 02:57 am (UTC)(link)
You sound like you were badgering their girlfriend and talking shit about them. Of course that didn't turn out well. You have no one to blame but yourself.

(Anonymous) 2011-07-27 03:28 am (UTC)(link)
lol no kidding. it's one thing to look out for a friend but to make assumptions from the outside looking in is just silly. good on the boyfriend for telling you off, tbh.

[identity profile] ichini-sanshigo.livejournal.com 2011-07-27 04:09 am (UTC)(link)
Maybe, but I think anon's complaints are justified by the fact that the girlfriend demanded he end a friendship. The only people who do that are domineering jerks.

[identity profile] elica.livejournal.com 2011-07-27 04:43 am (UTC)(link)
Or they are bullied by their boy/girlfriend's friends and can take it anymore.
Not that it was the case here, but you only have one side of the story...

[identity profile] cold-river-blue.livejournal.com 2011-07-27 09:06 am (UTC)(link)
1) We don't really know that the girlfriend "demanded" he end the friendship. If we're being charitable (meaning this is what OP really believes happened, and isn't exaggerating) we know that "Rory" told his friend that "Amy" demanded he stop being friends. It's possible that he agreed with Amy that it was harmful to have a friend who undermined his relationship, or he could have independently wanted to spend less time with friend and blamed Amy (knowing that OP already hated Amy). I've seen people do both.

2) If your boyfriend has a "friend" who wants to be more than friends, and who disrespects your relationship enough to openly talk crap about you and what a crappy girlfriend you are, you have a right to at least ask that he limit his time with that friend.

tl:dr time: I've been the "Amy" in a situation like this - my boyfriend had an old friend who had been crushing on him forever, who thought I was an evil bitch for monopolizing his time (i.e. having dinner with him most nights), and who thought he could do no wrong. So because he was perfect and I was the devil, any time we fought she was there to tell him how unreasonable I was for requesting a phone call if he was going to be out until 5 am, or for telling him to take the damn trash out now and then. It got to a point where it was annoying to both of us, and I did ask him to stop hanging out with her, or at least make it clear that our relationship was not going to be a topic of their conversation. Then, of course, he became the helpless little puppy trapped in a hellish loveless relationship, while I was the domineering abuser who demanded he have no friends other than me. It was awesome.

(Anonymous) 2011-07-27 05:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Think maybe your boyfriend was a little bit at fault here for never defending you to his friend? I hate it when significant others try to influence your relationship with other people while acting like it's for your own good, as if you aren't smart enough to tell when a friendship isn't good for you.

[identity profile] cold-river-blue.livejournal.com 2011-07-27 07:21 pm (UTC)(link)
To be honest, sometimes people can't tell when a friendship/relationship isn't good for them. However, I didn't say he wasn't a little at fault - in life, sometimes multiple people do bad things at the same time, and you don't have to pick just one person to shoulder all the blame. He should have stuck up for me, like I would have for him if any of my friends had tried to convince me he was a bad guy. And my telling him how I felt about that was part of the reason he stopped hanging out with his friend, which is apparently what makes me such an awful, manipulative person.

But anyway, if it's not cool for a SO to try to influence your relationship with other people, isn't it equally bad for a friend to try to influence your relationship with your significant other?