fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1667 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1667 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Posting this while LJ is up. Comment threads to follow

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 099 secrets from Secret Submission Post #238.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

24. http://oi55.tinypic.com/m9rez7.jpg

I've never understood this either. I have a character who has an above average size, and he has fears of topping his lover (who is very welcoming of that size), because of the past experience of someone plain old telling him that he was TOO BIG.

I honestly think that anyone who writes a well endowed man plowing into someone's ass (hopefully stretched, but I can't even hope for that in bad fic), should buy a dildo themselves and find out exactly how it feels. I can only hope that maybe one person might change their writing style after experiencing it themselves.

I guess one step at a time though. Let's first try to get every erotic writer to understand that stretching. is. important. when it comes to anal sex (male or female).

I've read a couple where the smaller man topped, but even then they usually switch. You'd think that, because tastes vary so much irl, that there would be more variety in the sex that's written, but it doesn't seem it will change anytime soon.

It'd be easier, less painful, and maybe a tiny bit more realistic to do it the other way around, sure, but it wouldn't be as awesome and enjoyable. A little bit of pain is the spice that makes for rad sex -- huge cocks in butts 4lyfe

Man, I remember wondering the same thing. It just seemed sort of illogical. And the bigger guy always on top, smaller guy on bottom thing always really bothered me. It's like, can it never change?

I have since moved on to different fandoms where I find a lot more variation in pairings and relationships and how they work in the fiction. Or maybe I'm just a lot more picky with what I read. I don't know.

I'm so enjoying posting this. It's an article I read a few days ago. Basically, science is not on your side.

Men with big cocks are more often tops. I kid you not: http://www.springerlink.com/content/p33v713p3x761n7u/

In other news, some people just find it sort of hot if someone gets fucked by a big cock. So no science there, really, just horniness. Yay, cock.

This comment is made of awesome. XD

Lol, I was wondering whether any studies had be done. Thanks for the link!

And I get the bigger=better mentality. It's really when the other character is all "oh no! this will hurt" implying bigger isn't better and then the bigger guy still always tops is when it bothers me the most. It's like, there are other options, guys. But it's all kind of silly anyhow. :)

I know this might be surprising to you but most bottoms I know like to be plowed by a nice, long, thick cock. OK obviously not everyone but yeah, i'd laugh if someone starts saying it's only in fiction because girl let me tell you...

also, what. I've read a lot of slash fic and most of them never compare the guy's dick sizes either. LIke what? I know a lot of authors like to tell the epic size of the tops mangoods but they don't outright say "jony took lee's size 7inch dick against his 5incher". I just don't see it a lot?

I always figured there's a difference between WANTING to be fucked by a nice, long, thick cock, and reading a fanfic where the bottom is all worried about it not fitting, or it being too big, or going to hurt. But I may be reading too far into this secret now.

I actually have read one fanfic where they did compare sizes, and the guy with the smaller size topped, after they compared.

You're not! That is exactly what I meant. If the bottom is all keen on his lover having a giant cock then sure, but when the character is making a fuss about it I don't get why they wouldn't just choose some other sexual position.

It's more when the character doesn't want to be and it goes that way anyway that really confuses me. I just don't get the rationale.

About the size thing, it's probably more obvious in BL manga cause you actually have pictures of the sex, but even in slash fiction I still find comparisons crop up in the narrative. Not usually in # of inches but still, it's often there.

Well, we live in a society where bigger is better. Penises especially carry that requirement. They must be big! Not to mention that a lot of fanwriters write what they've read before so if all they read about is big penises, that's usually all they'll write about.

I like to think that as fans grow, their thinking on this grows more flexible, so they can have guys with shorter penises and diversify their rather narrow views on this sort of stuff.

OHMYGOODNESS that icon!/Dies laughing

Also, I agree with your viewpoint. I know that when I started out in fandom, I kept thinking "the bigger, the better" with regards to penises, but now I think "well, big is good, but..." and generally try to approach from a more realistic angle.

Edited 2011-07-28 20:11 (UTC)

Sometimes it's exciting and interesting to read about the pain aspect, and how both men handle it. I've even read a few fics that deal with that specifically; the bottom's fear of it, and the top's patience in prepping for the sex/or finding a way around it. It becomes like a trust exercise that's fascinating to read about. Sadly there aren't as many of these fics as I'd like. (Instead so much fic has the monstrously endowed top going all jackhammer into the bottom....Ouch.)

Also worth noting...the bigger endowed guy just may not share a desire for penetration, even if he doesn't want to hurt his partner. They may decide to take a non-penetrative route?....
But yeah, I wish fic writers would show other options and negotiations taking place.

[ SECRET POST #1667 ]

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Let's tackle this with SCIENCE! yay!

Re: Let's tackle this with SCIENCE! yay!

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