case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2011-08-20 04:00 pm

[ SECRET POST #1691 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1691 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 13 pages, 314 secrets from Secret Submission Post #242.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 2 3 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 1 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

[identity profile] fscom.livejournal.com 2011-08-20 08:03 pm (UTC)(link)
32. http://i55.tinypic.com/24nffhv.png

[identity profile] meiko-matsui.livejournal.com 2011-08-20 08:42 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm sorry you feel that way, anon. I'm sure your adoptive parents love you very very much, right? I don't know your birth parents' story so I can only speculate what it was and I don't want to toss around ideas when we don't have any, really... I'm sure you're not worthless though. I really encourage you to call some sort of hotline, or seek therapy, or something. Feeling that way must be awful. I often feel it myself, and I'm not even adopted so I can't imagine what you're feeling from your perspective.

Do try to feel better. No one deserves to feel like that. I wish I could say/do something more for you but I don't want to accidentally say the wrong thing, I don't really have experience in this subject...

Just remember, it's the Heart that counts. Your birth parents don't define you as a person, not by any means. You define you!

[identity profile] masked-creator.livejournal.com 2011-08-20 11:32 pm (UTC)(link)
This. If you've got a pretty good life going for you OP, try not to focus too much on what might have been.

(Anonymous) 2011-08-20 08:52 pm (UTC)(link)
You get over it and move on like everyone else.

[identity profile] kribban.livejournal.com 2011-08-20 09:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Your adoptive parents wanted you. That must count for something.

[identity profile] cold-river-blue.livejournal.com 2011-08-21 01:06 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, the process of adoption is way more difficult than the process of making a baby (in most cases), so they probably wanted you very much.

I will also second (or eighth, or whatever it is by now) the motion to find someone to speak to about your feelings. I have lots of adopted family members, so I can say from experience that no matter how much you know "intellectually" that your parents love you, it can help a lot to talk out your feelings about the whole situation with an independent person.

(Anonymous) 2011-08-20 09:59 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm sure your birth mom wanted the best for you, which is why she gave you up for adoption--so you could find the family who would be able to raise you better than she could. I suspect it's much better to be raised by adoptive parents who love and really wanted you than by a biological mother who could barely support you, or wasn't mentally/physically prepared to be a parent, etc.

[identity profile] edmondia.livejournal.com 2011-08-20 10:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Fellow adoptee here--folks like us got given up 'cause the birth parents couldn't deal--it's all a matter of their issues and problems, it has nothing to do with us. I mean, we were tiny at the time. How many problems, other than existing, could we have possibly have caused? After all, that existence was, again, their fault.

Our real parents are the ones that matter, not the genetic donors.

(Anonymous) 2011-08-20 10:57 pm (UTC)(link)
My siblings were adopted. We were always told there are two ways of getting children: you either give birth or you choose them.
I don't know how your life has been but I hope you had good parents who love you. My family have never differentiated between the adopted and born children.
Some people have fantastic parents who are not biological and some parents treat their natural born children terribly. It's not about genes, its about people - and most everyone has varying degrees of baggage to come to terms with from their childhood.
I hope you manage to make peace with your adoption and do not let it define you.

[identity profile] mistaria.livejournal.com 2011-08-20 11:34 pm (UTC)(link)
::hugs tight:: I'm so sorry you feel like that, OP.

[identity profile] mentalguru.livejournal.com 2011-08-21 12:21 am (UTC)(link)
Family isn't always down to genetics OP. And I'm sure there's nothing wrong with you. But it would help to talk to someone IRL- someone else talked about a helpline- or simply anyone else. Even when some feelings don't make sense or even seem illogical, they can still gnaw a bit if you hide them too much and don't get a release. Sometimes just talking helps.

I don't know the full story of your birth parents but it's likely the simple matter was they couldn't look after a child for whatever reason- which would have little to do with you and everything to do with them and their own abilities (or perhaps simply circumstances/bad luck outside their own control). Your adoptive parents -chose- you in the end. They definitly want you it seems.

I was raised by my birth parents, though I remember both my younger sister and I (a year between us) wondered if we were adopted like I think almost every kid has at one point. (We never tried to pull the idea/prank on the other- because we looked so much alike it was obvious in our tiny heads if one of us was adopted, we obviously both were). But overall I kind of liked the idea of my parents actually choosing us instead of the traditional biological way of having us. (It wasn't really because I wanted some awesome birth parents to wisk us away or anything which I think some kids want- like with being secretly princesses or inheriting cyborg koala armies but because I kind of liked the idea of them actually going out and choosing us and liking us so much they got both of us out of perhaps who knows how many other kids they could choose, even though there were times myself when I wondered if I was worthy of love at all. But I am and you are too).

[identity profile] muse-of-melissa.livejournal.com 2011-08-21 02:44 am (UTC)(link)
I always felt bad for his adoptive parents, myself. They were good parents, so it made me sad he felt like he had to get away in order to belong. Saving grace in the movie for me was that he supported them when he got famous, showing that he still thought about/loved them.