case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2011-08-20 04:00 pm

[ SECRET POST #1691 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1691 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 13 pages, 314 secrets from Secret Submission Post #242.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 2 3 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 1 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

[identity profile] kindkit.livejournal.com 2011-08-20 11:04 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm not being flippant when I say this, okay: get better online friends. My friends have been incredibly supportive of me through my long tentative exploration of my own identity and my finally accepting myself and coming out as a trans man. And my friends are feminists, as am I. If your friends are feeding you gender-essentialist bullshit about how it's men's nature to be Conquering Oppressing Rapists and women's nature to be Gentle Cooperative Mothers . . . they're not thinking their feminism through very well, because that's just Victorian "angel in the house" gender ideology with a slightly new twist.

Not that I'm denying that male privilege exists. It does, and once I've transitioned enough to be perceived as male in meatspace, I'll start benefitting from it. I'm uncomfortable about that, just as I'm uncomfortable about my white privilege. But the problem is the privilege, not the maleness or whiteness. I think so long as I continue to be a feminist and an ally for women, and don't start acting like an asshole to prove my manliness or to deliberately take advantage of male privilege, then I'm doing okay.

And anyone who sees your trans-ness as a grab for privilege is a jerk. Or at best someone with a bad case of cisgendered privilege--which is every bit as real and pervasive as male privilege.
Edited 2011-08-20 23:05 (UTC)

(Anonymous) 2011-08-21 05:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you for the comment, because it does sum up a lot of how I feel re: my privilege in a way that I've struggled to myself, though admittedly it's not actually my online friends that are the issue - it's the opinions of most of fandom/the SJ-circles of the internet in general that are the ones spouting this. My online friends are probably the most supportive of me about the whole thing, haha.