[ SECRET POST #1691 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1691 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 13 pages, 314 secrets from Secret Submission Post #242.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 2 3 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 1 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom.livejournal.com]

37. http://i.imgur.com/xktYa.png

[(Anonymous)]

Yup, general misandrist vibes will do that.

[(Anonymous)]

i'm kind of in the school of thought that says misandry doesn't exist - certainly not in the same way as misogyny, in that there isn't the systematic oppression that women face - but equally it's kind of hurtful to be shot down on issues of misogyny on the basis that "you're a man so you don't know what you're talking about!". because, yes, i'm a man, but i DO experience misogyny because i'm perceived to be a woman by most people.

[(Anonymous)]

please....what most fanbois call misandry is just impotent rage about not being superior to girls anymore. You see it on tv all the time, everytime some right wing mouthpiece goes on about the feminist agenda what they really mean is "they won't get back in the kitchen and just make babies, them wimmens think they are equal and I can't boss 'em about anymore".

Clue: Not being allowed to dictate others lives is not the same as being oppressed.

[meran-flash.livejournal.com]

lol

[(Anonymous)]

Troll, troll in the dungeon...

[(Anonymous)]

Well, fandom has the ability to make you feel bad about almost anything. Don't let it get to you; it's just a side effect of people given a free range to say what they want anonymously.

[(Anonymous)]

well, yeah. You should feel like that. Guys suck. Honestly, if men went extinct, we could carry on quite happily using stem cells and egg-egg fusion for reproduction. Be a brilliant thing for the species. If I had one wish it would be to magically turn every guy in this world into what guys think is the perfect woman (ie dumb bimbos) and keep them as pets, while real women carry on.

If you want to give up your natural female privilege you should be very ashamed. 'course for guys that want to become women and promote themselves, you're more than welcome.

[(Anonymous)]

...Are you trolling? I honestly can't tell if you feel like this or what.

[momemordrid.livejournal.com]

O u.

[a-better-thing.livejournal.com]

Lmfao.

No seriously, you're absolutely hilar.

¬_¬

[(Anonymous)]

Is this the one who was banned from f!s and had a cat which looked vaguely constipated in her icon?

I've totally forgotten her name.

I think her and dethtoll were ficced together rather disturbingly on a kink meme submission?

[marshwiggledyke.livejournal.com]

OP, are you me?

(Though it's more my family who have made me feel guilty for that want. Fandom's been pretty supportive.)

[(Anonymous)]

Ahaha, well, my family haven't so much made me feel guilty about it as told me that it's just a phase/I'm being silly/they know I'll get over it/etc./etc. and tell me that everything I do to feel more masculine is stupid.

[(Anonymous)]

Trans men and women don't want to be men or women. They are.

op

[(Anonymous)]

I'm aware of that, and in retrospect the wording was awkward and influenced by the comments I've had from transphobic people, but regardless of semantics the point is the same.

[heretherebefic.livejournal.com]

Be whatever you want to be, OP. There will always be people out there who think something someone else does or is is wrong in some way. Ignore them and live your life. It's the best way to piss them off.

(Also, because I know from experience that someone will bring it up: no, I am not including anyone whose actions actually hurt others in that statement.)

[anamatics.livejournal.com]

OP you really shouldn't feel that way. And if any internet feminist/social justice type tells you that you are not entitled to an opinion or a voice because you are a transguy (ergo male) you tell then to fuck right the hell off. Just because how you are now is not in alignment with how they feel that you should be in order to have an opinion does not mean that you have no experienced every thing that they're raging about.

your experiences do not deserve to be erased because you are changing to become yourself.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry to hear that you've been made to feel guilty. If you don't mind saying, how is it that fandom has done that?

[sarolynne.livejournal.com]

Jeez, I'm sorry this secret got so much trolling.

Anyway. Don't feel bad for wanting to be perceived as you feel. Do what you have to do for yourself, and if you're worried about problems re: sexism or gender perception, then I'd say the fact you're aware of them to start with is a good start. :(b

[kindkit.livejournal.com]

I'm not being flippant when I say this, okay: get better online friends. My friends have been incredibly supportive of me through my long tentative exploration of my own identity and my finally accepting myself and coming out as a trans man. And my friends are feminists, as am I. If your friends are feeding you gender-essentialist bullshit about how it's men's nature to be Conquering Oppressing Rapists and women's nature to be Gentle Cooperative Mothers . . . they're not thinking their feminism through very well, because that's just Victorian "angel in the house" gender ideology with a slightly new twist.

Not that I'm denying that male privilege exists. It does, and once I've transitioned enough to be perceived as male in meatspace, I'll start benefitting from it. I'm uncomfortable about that, just as I'm uncomfortable about my white privilege. But the problem is the privilege, not the maleness or whiteness. I think so long as I continue to be a feminist and an ally for women, and don't start acting like an asshole to prove my manliness or to deliberately take advantage of male privilege, then I'm doing okay.

And anyone who sees your trans-ness as a grab for privilege is a jerk. Or at best someone with a bad case of cisgendered privilege--which is every bit as real and pervasive as male privilege.

[cykotyks.livejournal.com]

I got some of that, too, when I was first realizing it. I remember first finding this place and one of the first secrets I came across was something like, "You only want to be a man because of all the yaoi you read," and considering I'm a slash fan, it...hurt :/ I know it wasn't directed at me, but still.

But then I got to the point where I realized that it's not a pipe dream and I don't live in some fantasyland where this shit's gonna be easy, but I wanna do it anyway because it's better than the alternative, and the people who're hating on trans guys aren't going through the same shit. So I got some "haters gonna hate" attitude and kept moving forward because hey, it's my life, not theirs.

So don't let the haters (or the trolls) get you down :)

[mskye.livejournal.com]

Anyway OP, I hope you find more support in the future. Maybe you could explore other corners of fandom! Find some really supportive friends. I wish you the best!

[hikari87.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear that. That sucks :(

[(Anonymous)]

I think I know what you mean OP.

I'm not going to bother flashing my SJ info card, but sometimes I get put down by the negativity directed at men, too. Especially when the "but what about teh menz?!" thing gets pulled.

Because it's not like marginalized men, and people who are socially perceived as men when they aren't men (and thus are treated by most people as men), don't have very real problems. And it's not like a great many of those problems aren't cause by MEN.

So it's kind of lose/lose sometimes: getting lumped in with the people who hurt you, and being associated with the "problem" itself while being given a "privilege free--for now" card.

I know what they all mean, and why they say it. I'm not going to derail or ask them to phrase things differently, but sometimes it all really can be a hurtful downer on an already shitty day.

I hope that's not the case, but I don't think you should feel bad about it. So long as you're satisfied with who you are, and make an effort to be a decent person, that's all that's important. I hope its been more good then bad. :)