[ SECRET POST #1716 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1716 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 134 secrets from Secret Submission Post #245.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - hit/ship/spiration ], [ 0 - omgiknowthem ], [ 0 - take it to comments ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

The problem here, is that there is a fuckton of people who don't do casual sex. A royal fuckton. Tons of people have approximately zero interest in one night stands and are only interested in sex with people they know and have a connection with, but can still find strangers objectively attractive. This is where the problem lies. Because most people, out in the real world, aren't demisexuality. They're also not sexual as defined by people in the demisexual community.

[ethereal-sky.livejournal.com]

Sexual people in the demisexual community are defined as people who experience primary sexual attraction. Which mean they can look at a person they don't know and find them attractive.

It doesn't say sexuals all have or even enjoy casual sex.

[(Anonymous)]

Then all demisexuals are personally acquainted with John Barrowman?

[ethereal-sky.livejournal.com]

Oh haw haw I was wondering when the sarcasm might start!

[a-better-thing.livejournal.com]

It's a valid point though - if demisexuality is defined as only feeling sexual desire when there is an emotional connection with the person in question, then how/why do demisexual people find porn/erotica involving celebrities/fictional characters arousing?

Please don't mistake me, I have no problem with the concepts/labels of demisexuality/asexuality, I'm just somewhat confused by what strikes me as a contradiction.

Also, whoa, forward-slash overload ITC.

[ethereal-sky.livejournal.com]

Why do you assume that they do, though?

But to answer that, while demisexuality never came up in this comm before, I've seen plenty of discussions about asexuality (which includes demi) and people have explained that not all asexuals -lack- a sex drive. They just don't experience it towards other people. Then there's that not everyone feels sexually stimulated by erotica but it doesn't mean they cannot enjoy it on an emotional level.

But I specifically avoided this point, because it just gives new opportunities to those who refuse to acknowledge that not everything works the way THEY experience it, to attack the label, and to be honest I'm losing interest in this debate. You are of course entitled to still believe that it's a contraddiction, I can't really change your mind. But it makes a lot of sense to me, personally.

[a-better-thing.livejournal.com]

I have seen examples of people simultaneously claiming to be demi/asexual alongside discussion of being turned on by erotica, which on my understanding of the definitions has always confused me, and which was what I was basing my enquiry on. However, I do not assume (and I'm sorry if I gave the impression that I do) that this is the case for all demisexuals.

Thank you for your response, I'm sorry if I came across as attacking. I'm honestly not trying to judge what anyone identifies as, I was simply confused but I realise now that it's not really my place to be demanding explanations from anyone so I'm very sorry for that. I hope I didn't offend you.

[ethereal-sky.livejournal.com]

There is nothing wrong with asking explanations if something isn't clear to you! I wasn't passive aggressively telling you to mind your own business, I hope that's not what it sounded like! And you didn't come across as attacking at all (I was referring to all the anons in this thread who're hating on the label). I also tried my best to not sound defensive/pissed in my response, but admittedly the discussion has worn me out, so I guess I failed.

No hard feelings? :)

[a-better-thing.livejournal.com]

Oh none at all :) You didn't come across as aggressive, I just got worried because I realised I might have come across as sounding like 'Justify your feelings to me!!' which wasn't what I was aiming for at all.

FTR, I'd like to say that I think your responses and patience in this thread have been stellar, and I'm sorry that some people are giving you a hard time.

<3

[ethereal-sky.livejournal.com]

Thanks! :) To be honest, I really wish I didn't get involved, because no amount of explaining will chill the spirits of those who feel demisexuality equals slut-shaming, so this whole debate is really just a huge waste of time.