fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1716 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1716 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 134 secrets from Secret Submission Post #245.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - hit/ship/spiration ], [ 0 - omgiknowthem ], [ 0 - take it to comments ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Way to go projecting your own internalized issues with slut-shaming on a concept that has nothing to do with it, just because you don't understand said concept in the first place.

Hint: you know how too many straight and gay people look down on bi/pansexual people as sluts who just want to sleep with everyone? Yeah, that's what you're accusing demis of doing right now. So unless you want to start arguing that identifying as straight or gay automatically means that you're slut-shaming bi and pan people, then you shouldn't argue that identifying as demi automatically means that they're slut-shaming sexuals. Identifying as a restricted subgroup does NOT automatically mean that you think there's something wrong with people who don't belong to that subgroup. I can't believe this needs to be pointed out.

One of the things I hate most about the ace/demisexual community is how they call the rest of us "sexuals". It's disgusting. Stop doing that.

And no, only falling in love with one gender does not slut-shame people who fall in love with more than one gender. Saying "I only want sex when I'm in love!!!!!" does slut-shame everyone else. hth.

See, that's exactly what I meant by "projecting your own internalized issues". There is NOTHING disgusting with being called "sexual", because it's TRUE: most adult human beings are sexual beings. If you can't deal with that, then YOU have a problem.

Saying "I only want sex when I'm in love!!!!!" does slut-shame everyone else.

Only if you believe that having sex with someone you're not in love with is "being slutty" and wrong. If you had no problem with people having sex without necessarily being in love, then you would have no problem with someone saying they don't have that kind of freedom. But because you are projecting YOUR own issues, you hear things that are not meant at all. And instead of reflecting on why the concept of demisexuality truly bothers you (hint: because you DON'T actually believe that it's okay to be a standard sexual being and to have sex with someone without being in love with them), you choose to paint it as evil to relieve your own inner dissonance. And THAT is very much wrong indeed.

You're entirely missing the part where being openly sexual is treated as a bad thing. Are you seriously new to the entire human race, or just being intentionally dense? Is this really your first introduction to the Madonna/whore dichotomy, or the idea that women should save themselves for marriage, or where sex outside of a relationship (even a brief one) is shown time and time again by every form of media to be wrong if not outright harmful?

This is a slut-shaming culture, and demisexuals are perpetuating that oppression.

There is NOTHING disgusting with being called "sexual", because it's TRUE: most adult human beings are sexual beings. If you can't deal with that, then YOU have a problem.

No. Read the comment again. There's nothing wrong with being called "sexual" (an adjective). There is everything wrong with being called "a sexual" (a noun).

I wouldn't put it quite like that... (-_-);

But, to the other anon:

"I only want sex when I'm in love!!!!!" isn't what being demi is about. It's more like "I can only be physical with an emotional connection." it's isn't a want. It's an only physically can. -_-;

I have absolutely no idea what the distinction you're trying to draw here is. Your words read to me as though you're saying demisexuals are physically incapable of having sex without an emotional connection, but unless demisexuals have some sort of magical chastity belt that can only be unlocked by emotions, that makes no sense, so I have to assume I'm misreading you.

What exactly do you see the difference being between "I only want sex when I'm in love" and what demisexuals experience?

From what I've read, magical chastity belt isn't quite right, you're right. :3

Except I guess it kind of is? I mean, you wouldn't ask a lesbian if they have a "magical chastity belt that can only be unlocked by women" would you? So I would assume it's essentially the same principle. Sort of. Metaphorically. Unless we're going all Men in Tights on them, then an emotional bond is like a metaphorical jack hammer? Maybe? >_>

No, because lesbians are physically capable of having sex with men, even if they aren't aroused by it and don't enjoy it. In your previous comment, it really sounded like you were saying demisexuals are physcially incapable of sex without an emotional connection. Which I knew couldn't be what you were actually saying.

I still don't understand how what you are saying is different from only wanting sex when you're in love, though. Are you saying that demisexuals are incapable of physical arousal without love? If so, what is the distinction you're drawing between "wanting sex" and "physical arousal"?

Hmmm, you're right, that doesn't make sense. But the way you put it does make more sense, thank you. <3 It probably should be more that demisexuals are physically capable of having sex with people they don't have an emotional connection with, even if they aren't aroused by it and don't enjoy it.

I don't know anymore, honestly, I'm just starting to get sick and tired of this whole conversation, honestly. Though, the difference between "wanting sex" and "physical arousal" is this, though. Physical arousal can come about without having sex. Wanting sex is wanting sex.

Wanting sex can also come about without having sex. I'm still confused. The only difference I can see is that wanting sex necessarily involves attraction to another person, whereas physical arousal does not.

And, honestly? I'm confused by your confusion. So. >__>

So far as I'm aware, "wanting sex" = "horny." And "physically aroused" = "horny."

So let's just agree to say "horny" because I can't honestly see how "wanting sex" and "physically aroused" could possibly mean two different things. ;-)

From what I've gathered from this thread, demis don't get aroused in the abstract. Like, they wouldn't look at a person/picture and get horny; what gets them horny is the person that they already have an intimate mental bond with.

My question on the topic (out of pure curiosity) would be "Can a demi feel an emotional connection (albeit one-way) to a fictional character, and ~~become aroused by~~ get horny from that? Or does it need to be an actual connection with a real person, like a friend or someone you can interact with?" Because I know I can become quite emotionally invested in various characters, so I was wondering if that would be enough?

[ SECRET POST #1716 ]

LOL at all the sexuals shitting on demisexuality

Re: LOL at all the sexuals shitting on demisexuality

Re: LOL at all the sexuals shitting on demisexuality

lol no

Re: LOL at all the sexuals shitting on demisexuality

Re: LOL at all the sexuals shitting on demisexuality

Re: LOL at all the sexuals shitting on demisexuality

Re: LOL at all the sexuals shitting on demisexuality

Re: LOL at all the sexuals shitting on demisexuality

Re: LOL at all the sexuals shitting on demisexuality

Re: LOL at all the sexuals shitting on demisexuality

Re: LOL at all the sexuals shitting on demisexuality

Re: LOL at all the sexuals shitting on demisexuality