[ SECRET POST #1716 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1716 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 134 secrets from Secret Submission Post #245.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - hit/ship/spiration ], [ 0 - omgiknowthem ], [ 0 - take it to comments ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

[loracarol.livejournal.com]

From what I've seen of Torchwood, I would have to say that I don't agree. To everyone else, though:

I'm pretty sure that 'demisexual' doesn't mean that people who aren't demisexual don't bond emotionally with their partners. Instead, it's that a person cannot be sexually aroused by someone unless there is that emotional rapport. It's not saying that demisexuals are the ~only ones who love or have a 'connection' with their partner(s), it's that they have to have that in order to become physical.

Not everything is about shame. <3

[vethica.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[ethereal-sky.livejournal.com]

This. And I want to add that the demisexual community is highly intolerant of slut shaming.

[loracarol.livejournal.com]

This is why I hate it when people are like "just google it" about something. People did, and were offended. That's not... That's not what it means, though. :I

[(Anonymous)]

You have to be joking. I wish it were true and not just a cruel joke.

I've yet to see a demisexual community that doesn't slutshame to an absurd extent.

[velvet-mace.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm not getting the hate for demisexuals here. I don't see what it has to do with any other sexual category. I'm not a demisexual, I can feel attraction for people who I see waiting in line at starbucks, not that I'll do anything about it. But there have also been people who I didn't initially feel attraction to, who after I got to know them, I began to, simply because their personalities (rather than their bodies) were so damn sexy. So I kinda get it.

[(Anonymous)]

I agree.

[(Anonymous)]

It's not saying that demisexuals are the ~only ones who love or have a 'connection' with their partner(s), it's that they have to have that in order to become physical.

But... what is special about this? How is it not just "sexual"?

[loracarol.livejournal.com]

It's not saying that demisexuals are the ~only ones who love or have a 'connection' with their partner(s), it's that they have to have that in order to become physical.

Someone who isn't demisexual could theoretically find something online that would aid them in their masterbatory activities, simply because they find them attractive. This does not mean that they can't form attachments with anyone, it just means that, if something or someone get's them hot, it's all good.

Demisexuals can't do that. If they see a picture of someone who's attractive, that's all there is. Unless they personally know a famous actor, let's say, and had an emotional relationship with that actor, there's no sexual desire.

Say I'm not demisexual, and I see a picture of someone hot, or decide to watch/read porn. It get's me off.

Say I am demisexual, I see a picture of someone hot, or decide to watch/read porn. It doesn't do anything (unless, maybe the porn star's my S.O. and there's that connection).

Does that make sense? :)

[(Anonymous)]

Except there is a lot of grey area in between there, which is what people who ID as demisexual don't seem to get. The vast majority of porn doesn't get me off, even when I find the people in it attractive. Some of it does. I don't have sexual fantasies about actors. I do have have sexual fantasies about fictional characters with personalities. It's not this magic you either find everyone attractive and get off to them or you don't thing, which is why "demisexuality" as a whole is silly.

different anon

[(Anonymous)]

Your explanation is a good one, but it doesn't negate the fact that demisexuality by definition is slut-shaming.

[(Anonymous)]

Someone who isn't demisexual could theoretically find something online that would aid them in their masterbatory activities, simply because they find them attractive.

Which is why every demisexual I've ever met constantly talks about fapping to the Doctor and Sherlock. Okay.

[(Anonymous)]

The "-sexual" in hetero/homo/bi/pan/a-sexual refers to the gender one is attracted to. It has nothing to do with having or not having sex.

What gender does "demi" imply?

are you going to answer this jw

[(Anonymous)]

The "-sexual" in hetero/homo/bi/pan/a-sexual refers to the gender one is attracted to. It has nothing to do with having or not having sex.

What gender does "demi" imply?

[(Anonymous)]

I can be aroused by pictures of people I don't know anything about. I can look at someone hot and think I want to fuck them. I would be able to get it up for a one-night stand. Heck, I can enjoy smut fanfiction of characters I've not only never met personally (obviously), but don't even know that well.

Demisexuals, as I understand the term, can not. Whether it's a sexual orientation or not strikes me as quibbling, but as a pure descriptive word it seems to make a lot of sense.

[(Anonymous)]

Aren't there usually loads of asexuals and demisexuals who turn up at this point in the wank to talk about how their love for fandom porn/porn in general doesn't discount their orientation?

I gotta think that hardline demisexuals, using your definition, are extremely rare and aren't represented by everyone using the label.

[(Anonymous)]

The problem here, is that there is a fuckton of people who don't do casual sex. A royal fuckton. Tons of people have approximately zero interest in one night stands and are only interested in sex with people they know and have a connection with, but can still find strangers objectively attractive. This is where the problem lies. Because most people, out in the real world, aren't demisexuality. They're also not sexual as defined by people in the demisexual community.

[ethereal-sky.livejournal.com]

It's different from being just sexual in that demisexuals do not experience primary sexual attraction.

That is, they will never find a person attractive just by looking at them, whereas sexuals do.

This doesn't imply that sexuals are out of control and slaves to their hormones (which is what I think sexuals feel they are accused of), it just means that in order to find a person attractive, demisexuals need to bond with them emotionally, first.

Hope that helps!

[(Anonymous)]

>This doesn't imply that sexuals are out of control and slaves to their hormones

Actually, yes it does. That is exactly what it implies.

[(Anonymous)]

You know that's just kind of normal, right? Fuck, I'm a 30 year-old virgin who has little desire to change that unless I meet the right woman, which is extremely unlikely, but all of these new "I'm so special!" buzzwords just make me want to hit you.

[loracarol.livejournal.com]

Yes, because that's all this ever are... Special Buzzwords.

I mean, I get that sometimes SJ can get out of hand, but that doesn't mean that everything is a 'buzzword'. :/

LOL at all the sexuals shitting on demisexuality

[(Anonymous)]

Way to go projecting your own internalized issues with slut-shaming on a concept that has nothing to do with it, just because you don't understand said concept in the first place.

Hint: you know how too many straight and gay people look down on bi/pansexual people as sluts who just want to sleep with everyone? Yeah, that's what you're accusing demis of doing right now. So unless you want to start arguing that identifying as straight or gay automatically means that you're slut-shaming bi and pan people, then you shouldn't argue that identifying as demi automatically means that they're slut-shaming sexuals. Identifying as a restricted subgroup does NOT automatically mean that you think there's something wrong with people who don't belong to that subgroup. I can't believe this needs to be pointed out.

Re: LOL at all the sexuals shitting on demisexuality

[(Anonymous)]

One of the things I hate most about the ace/demisexual community is how they call the rest of us "sexuals". It's disgusting. Stop doing that.

And no, only falling in love with one gender does not slut-shame people who fall in love with more than one gender. Saying "I only want sex when I'm in love!!!!!" does slut-shame everyone else. hth.

Re: LOL at all the sexuals shitting on demisexuality

[(Anonymous)]

See, that's exactly what I meant by "projecting your own internalized issues". There is NOTHING disgusting with being called "sexual", because it's TRUE: most adult human beings are sexual beings. If you can't deal with that, then YOU have a problem.

Saying "I only want sex when I'm in love!!!!!" does slut-shame everyone else.

Only if you believe that having sex with someone you're not in love with is "being slutty" and wrong. If you had no problem with people having sex without necessarily being in love, then you would have no problem with someone saying they don't have that kind of freedom. But because you are projecting YOUR own issues, you hear things that are not meant at all. And instead of reflecting on why the concept of demisexuality truly bothers you (hint: because you DON'T actually believe that it's okay to be a standard sexual being and to have sex with someone without being in love with them), you choose to paint it as evil to relieve your own inner dissonance. And THAT is very much wrong indeed.

Re: LOL at all the sexuals shitting on demisexuality

[loracarol.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't put it quite like that... (-_-);

But, to the other anon:

"I only want sex when I'm in love!!!!!" isn't what being demi is about. It's more like "I can only be physical with an emotional connection." it's isn't a want. It's an only physically can. -_-;