Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2011-09-14 07:58 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2011-09-14 07:58 pm
[ SECRET POST #1716 ]
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 134 secrets from Secret Submission Post #245.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.
no subject
Isn't that what you're doing, though? Claiming that there is only one way (the so-called "normative" demisexuality) that people have sex? Because that's what I'm seeing... Isn't that just as oppresive? To say that there is only ever one way to have sex? Only one way that people are sexually aroused? I'm trying to say that there is a range of sexuality, of which demisexuality is just one of the ways sex works. You're trying to say that demiseuality is the so-called "default" and the same for everyone.
"How many people do you honestly think are going out and having sex with people they don't care about? Honestly? I mean, do you honestly believe that huge proportions of the population are having casual one-night stands all the time? Because I can tell you, they aren't."
I never said that it was just about one night stands, though. In fact, I believe at one point I pointed out that it has to do with everything from masterbation to sex, and everything in between and beyond. This has nothing to do with "one night stands".
"To want a relationship really is the default. To need a connection to become interested in sex really is the default."
To be interested in sex with a partner, maybe. But to be interested in sexual things? Given the prevalence of the porn industry, I highly doubt that everyone has the ~need to be connected with someone to enjoy sexual activities, whether it's alone or with (a) partner(s).
no subject
(Anonymous) 2011-09-15 06:36 pm (UTC)(link)Not at all. ...And I'm a little surprised that you misread it that way. I'm saying that this is how most people are already having sex, and that this is the way people are being told to have sex. At no time did I ever say that this is the only way people should have sex, or that this is the only people can have sex.
Given the prevalence of the pron industry, I highly doubt that everyone has the ~need to be connected with somoene to enjoy sexual activities, whether it's alone or with (a) partner(s).
I didn't say "everyone". I said most people. According to AVEN, it's not uncommon for asexuals and demisexuals to become aroused while looking at porn, too. Also, if you were to ever talk to a professional in the sex industry, you'd most likely be told that the majority of johns ask for a certain aesthetic (a curvaceous redhead, say, or a tall dark-haired woman, or a certain game ("pretend to be my boss at work"), or even ask for the same prostitute over and over. They aren't just looking for a wet hole - they want to feel a connection, even if it's a false one.
no subject
If it's a certain aesthetic, or a certain game... Is that really the same as looking for a "connection"? Or is that just the aesthetic thing they need? Though I will grant your point in asking for the same prostitute.
I really don't think that this is going to get either of us anywhere. If you still wish to keep discussing it, that's cool, but I'm not sure it's really going to get either of us anywhere. :/