case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2011-09-14 07:58 pm

[ SECRET POST #1716 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1716 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 134 secrets from Secret Submission Post #245.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - hit/ship/spiration ], [ 0 - omgiknowthem ], [ 0 - take it to comments ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2011-09-15 01:44 am (UTC)(link)
It's not saying that demisexuals are the ~only ones who love or have a 'connection' with their partner(s), it's that they have to have that in order to become physical.

But... what is special about this? How is it not just "sexual"?

[identity profile] loracarol.livejournal.com 2011-09-15 01:52 am (UTC)(link)
It's not saying that demisexuals are the ~only ones who love or have a 'connection' with their partner(s), it's that they have to have that in order to become physical.

Someone who isn't demisexual could theoretically find something online that would aid them in their masterbatory activities, simply because they find them attractive. This does not mean that they can't form attachments with anyone, it just means that, if something or someone get's them hot, it's all good.

Demisexuals can't do that. If they see a picture of someone who's attractive, that's all there is. Unless they personally know a famous actor, let's say, and had an emotional relationship with that actor, there's no sexual desire.

Say I'm not demisexual, and I see a picture of someone hot, or decide to watch/read porn. It get's me off.

Say I am demisexual, I see a picture of someone hot, or decide to watch/read porn. It doesn't do anything (unless, maybe the porn star's my S.O. and there's that connection).

Does that make sense? :)

(Anonymous) 2011-09-15 02:04 am (UTC)(link)
Except there is a lot of grey area in between there, which is what people who ID as demisexual don't seem to get. The vast majority of porn doesn't get me off, even when I find the people in it attractive. Some of it does. I don't have sexual fantasies about actors. I do have have sexual fantasies about fictional characters with personalities. It's not this magic you either find everyone attractive and get off to them or you don't thing, which is why "demisexuality" as a whole is silly.

[identity profile] loracarol.livejournal.com 2011-09-15 02:09 am (UTC)(link)
That's the difference, though. Some of it does.

And really "as a whole is silly." ?

I mean, I don't get why some guys are into guys, or girls are into girls (I'm not a guy, nor do I have any interest in women that I'm aware of), does that make homosexuality 'silly'? No. You don't get it, fine. But that doesn't make it "silly". :/

(Anonymous) 2011-09-15 02:11 am (UTC)(link)
Demisexuality is NOT A SEXUAL ORIENTATION. It's taking "I don't like casual sex" AND EXPANDING THAT INTO YOUR LIFE'S ID.

And that IS silly.

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ii. again i am so sorry

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different anon

(Anonymous) 2011-09-15 02:08 am (UTC)(link)
Your explanation is a good one, but it doesn't negate the fact that demisexuality by definition is slut-shaming.

Re: different anon

[identity profile] loracarol.livejournal.com 2011-09-15 02:11 am (UTC)(link)
How? It's not saying that demisexuals are the only ones who feel emotional bonds with people. Sex is a normal, healthy part of the human race. Some people just experience it differently, that's all.

Seriously, how is it slut shaming? If you're going by the fact that demi's need the emotional bonds to feel physically attracted... So what if they do? So what if other people don't need those bonds to be physucally attracted to someone. Why does it matter?

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ook.

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(Anonymous) 2011-09-15 02:23 am (UTC)(link)
Someone who isn't demisexual could theoretically find something online that would aid them in their masterbatory activities, simply because they find them attractive.

Which is why every demisexual I've ever met constantly talks about fapping to the Doctor and Sherlock. Okay.

[identity profile] bloodrivendream.livejournal.com 2011-09-15 02:32 am (UTC)(link)
Well, Doctor Who and Sherlock do have personalities.

[identity profile] loracarol.livejournal.com 2011-09-15 02:35 am (UTC)(link)
Meh, I'm not every demisexual you've ever met, so I can't answer that. I can simply answer, to the best of my knowledge what I know. Maybe they feel like they've gotten an emotional connection with those characters, maybe they're not actually demisexual, or maybe they're lying so that other people don't think they're weird for not 'fapping' to anyone/thing.

Maybe it's none of your business. <3

(Anonymous) 2011-09-15 02:44 am (UTC)(link)
They're only into their personalities. It's a coincidence that they're found to be hot by sexuals who are capable of being attracted to body alone, even without those hints at personality that come through in facial and body expression!

I think the term sets people off because it is so fuzzy and amorphous as to be useless. Genderqueer strikes me as the same.

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(Anonymous) 2011-09-15 02:28 am (UTC)(link)
The "-sexual" in hetero/homo/bi/pan/a-sexual refers to the gender one is attracted to. It has nothing to do with having or not having sex.

What gender does "demi" imply?

[identity profile] vethica.livejournal.com 2011-09-15 02:38 am (UTC)(link)
To be fair, demisexuality also has nothing to do with having or not having sex. It has to do with sexual attraction.

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[identity profile] helenadax.livejournal.com 2011-09-15 09:08 am (UTC)(link)
Girls who are called "Demi"? XDD
Edited 2011-09-15 09:13 (UTC)

are you going to answer this jw

(Anonymous) 2011-09-15 03:31 am (UTC)(link)
The "-sexual" in hetero/homo/bi/pan/a-sexual refers to the gender one is attracted to. It has nothing to do with having or not having sex.

What gender does "demi" imply?

Re: are you going to answer this jw

[identity profile] loracarol.livejournal.com 2011-09-15 03:45 am (UTC)(link)
"demi" is meant to imply that it's a midway point between sexual and asexual. It could have a better name, sure, but it's the one that exists for now, so it's the one I'm going to use when talking about it. When it get's a different name with a large enough following of people who use it, and thus a larger number of people who understand it, I'll switch to that. But for now, this is what there is.

Re: are you going to answer this jw

(Anonymous) 2011-09-15 07:10 am (UTC)(link)
What gender does "omni" imply?

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(Anonymous) 2011-09-15 01:55 am (UTC)(link)
I can be aroused by pictures of people I don't know anything about. I can look at someone hot and think I want to fuck them. I would be able to get it up for a one-night stand. Heck, I can enjoy smut fanfiction of characters I've not only never met personally (obviously), but don't even know that well.

Demisexuals, as I understand the term, can not. Whether it's a sexual orientation or not strikes me as quibbling, but as a pure descriptive word it seems to make a lot of sense.

(Anonymous) 2011-09-15 02:05 am (UTC)(link)
Aren't there usually loads of asexuals and demisexuals who turn up at this point in the wank to talk about how their love for fandom porn/porn in general doesn't discount their orientation?

I gotta think that hardline demisexuals, using your definition, are extremely rare and aren't represented by everyone using the label.

(Anonymous) 2011-09-15 02:09 am (UTC)(link)
The problem here, is that there is a fuckton of people who don't do casual sex. A royal fuckton. Tons of people have approximately zero interest in one night stands and are only interested in sex with people they know and have a connection with, but can still find strangers objectively attractive. This is where the problem lies. Because most people, out in the real world, aren't demisexuality. They're also not sexual as defined by people in the demisexual community.

[identity profile] ethereal-sky.livejournal.com 2011-09-15 02:23 am (UTC)(link)
Sexual people in the demisexual community are defined as people who experience primary sexual attraction. Which mean they can look at a person they don't know and find them attractive.

It doesn't say sexuals all have or even enjoy casual sex.

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[identity profile] ethereal-sky.livejournal.com 2011-09-15 02:03 am (UTC)(link)
It's different from being just sexual in that demisexuals do not experience primary sexual attraction.

That is, they will never find a person attractive just by looking at them, whereas sexuals do.

This doesn't imply that sexuals are out of control and slaves to their hormones (which is what I think sexuals feel they are accused of), it just means that in order to find a person attractive, demisexuals need to bond with them emotionally, first.

Hope that helps!

(Anonymous) 2011-09-15 02:13 am (UTC)(link)
>This doesn't imply that sexuals are out of control and slaves to their hormones

Actually, yes it does. That is exactly what it implies.

[identity profile] loracarol.livejournal.com 2011-09-15 02:19 am (UTC)(link)
Okay, so this isn't a repsonce to me, and I don't know if you're the anon from above or not, but...

How. How is that exactly what it implies?

Seriously, I'm curious. :)

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[identity profile] ethereal-sky.livejournal.com 2011-09-15 02:27 am (UTC)(link)
No, it only means demis do not experience physical attraction to people they aren't close to.