[ SECRET POST #1716 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1716 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 134 secrets from Secret Submission Post #245.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - hit/ship/spiration ], [ 0 - omgiknowthem ], [ 0 - take it to comments ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

[ethereal-sky.livejournal.com]

It's different from being just sexual in that demisexuals do not experience primary sexual attraction.

That is, they will never find a person attractive just by looking at them, whereas sexuals do.

This doesn't imply that sexuals are out of control and slaves to their hormones (which is what I think sexuals feel they are accused of), it just means that in order to find a person attractive, demisexuals need to bond with them emotionally, first.

Hope that helps!

[(Anonymous)]

>This doesn't imply that sexuals are out of control and slaves to their hormones

Actually, yes it does. That is exactly what it implies.

[loracarol.livejournal.com]

Okay, so this isn't a repsonce to me, and I don't know if you're the anon from above or not, but...

How. How is that exactly what it implies?

Seriously, I'm curious. :)

[(Anonymous)]

"I'm only attracted to people I have an emotional connection with, unlike those sluts who'll do it with anyone."

[ethereal-sky.livejournal.com]

But that's just your interpretation of it. The implication isn't there at all. The demisexual community is very intolerant of slut shaming.

[(Anonymous)]

Not from what I've seen, no.

[ethereal-sky.livejournal.com]

Personally I've yet to come across demis who slut shame but assholes are everywhere, so it's not that I don't believe you. But some rotten apples shouldn't define an entire community.

[(Anonymous)]

Either demisexuality is a sexual orientation or it isn't and if it is then you can't say "the demisexual community is intolerant of" anything. Individual demisexuals are intolerant of slut-shaming. Other individual demisexuals engage in slut-shaming.

So. Is it a sexual orientation? Or is it not?

[ethereal-sky.livejournal.com]

But the demi community calls out slut shaming and several members are active in slutwalks. Let's not forget that every community has members that don't quite grasp the idea (and of course let's not forget trolls), but they don't define the entire group.

[(Anonymous)]

Big deal. The homosexual community calls out racism, but there are still a lot of racist gay people. (And I'm saying this as a queer myself.) The transgender community calls out sexism, but there are a lot of sexist trans men. ET FUCKING CETERA.

And of course the ~demisexual community~ calls out slut-shaming. That's because their label is by definition slut-shaming and they need some kind of legitimacy to act like they really aren't sex-negative, oh no!

[ethereal-sky.livejournal.com]

That is the point. Rotten apples etc etc, do not condemn the entire group.

The label is by definition lack of primary sexual attraction which means they are incapable of feeling attraction towards people they aren't emotionally bonded with.

You are totally not accusing people for something they cannot control, oh no!

da

[(Anonymous)]

You can control calling yourself a slut-shaming title.

Re: da

[ethereal-sky.livejournal.com]

Except it is not a slut-shaming title.

[loracarol.livejournal.com]

Wow, is that really all you've gotten? I really am sorry about that. :(

I mean, did anyone ever actually say that to you? Type it up? Because that's not cool. :(

[(Anonymous)]

http://demisexuality.tumblr.com/post/7960882139

[loracarol.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's not cool. :/

I'm really sorry that exists. :/

[baka-deshi.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I don't have any stake in this label (I am one of those who gets antsy when any labels start flying) but I think the major problem you have is that The Google is taking people to some really unfortunate places.

[loracarol.livejournal.com]

Yep. :(

I mean, google is helpful and all, but...

[(Anonymous)]

Did you even read the secret that started this? That's the mindset of every self-identified "demi" I've ever met, in person or online.

[loracarol.livejournal.com]

Well, I already said that I didn't agree with the secret maker... And I think that their slut shaming was a Bad Thing... But I'm not going to say that all of group A are bad because of what a memeber of group A said (anonymously) on the internet. :3

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not arguing that all demisexuals are bad. I'm arguing that demisexuality by definition is slut-shaming.

Also, just as an aside... if a whole bunch of people not in your community are telling you that they find this thing shameful? Pointing out that your community doesn't find it shameful isn't going to do anybody any good.

[loracarol.livejournal.com]

Wait, so you're not arguing that all demisexuals are bad, their just bad people for finding a label that fits them? Because you have decided that it's slut shaming?

And I'm arguing that it's not slut-shaming, so. I believe we are at an impasse.

Also? It's not even my community, I belong to the WhothehellcareswhatlabelIamIjustwanttogetthroughcollegeplzkthnx community. XP

(And I've only heard from two anonymouses that that's what they think it is, and I hardly believe that qualifies as "a whole bunch of people". More like two internet anonymouses).

[(Anonymous)]

1. Show me where I said demisexuals were bad people.

2. So, when somebody tells you that a thing you did was offensive, you shrug and walk off? Good to know!

3. You may not identify as demisexual, but you're whiteknighting hard for the community. My mistake assuming you identified that way.

[loracarol.livejournal.com]

1. I figured that it was a given from the demisexuality=slut-shaming comment from you(?), and the way a couple of anonymouses have been hammering the point that all demisexuals=slut shamers, and slut shaming is BAD (which I agree with).

2. Nope, I don't. But I honestly can't see how demisexuality = slut shaming as you claim, as I don't see non-demisexuals as sluts, and both demi and non-demi sexuality are just different but equally valid points.

3. And my mistake for not making it clearer when I made my comment, I just figured that it wasn't really anyone's business.

[ethereal-sky.livejournal.com]

No, it only means demis do not experience physical attraction to people they aren't close to.