[ SECRET POST #1726 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1726 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 10 pages, 240 secrets from Secret Submission Post #247.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - hit/ship/spiration ], [ 0 - omgiknowthem ], [ 0 - take it to comments ], [ 1 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

because how dare people ever get emotional about bigotry. especially if it personally impacts them, they should remain calm at ALL times. otherwise they're a RUINER OF CAUSES.

[spam-27.livejournal.com]

Just not knowing something is not bigotry. Believing it and living by it is.

[(Anonymous)]

no, from that individual, it's not bigotry on an intentional level -- but a lot of times, it's certainly influenced by and perpetuates bigotry.

[stella-down.livejournal.com]

you don't think lack of intent or knowledge can mitigate an offensive remark?

[(Anonymous)]

can, perhaps; it certainly doesn't always, and it doesn't magically make something not offensive at all.

and if someone, say, has been having a bad day where they've been hearing all kinds of intentionally offensive comments about who they are, i think it's inconsiderate to them to expect them to be able to always recognize when it's only a result of ignorance and not intentional malice, and always go "oh, this person doesn't mean it, let me just set aside my feelings and hold their hand and educate them."

[stella-down.livejournal.com]

there's a lot of gray area between "set aside my feelings and hold their hand and educate them" and "unload a ton of capslock and sarcasm to make myself feel better".

I'm saying that if you're going to respond ... and, since this is the internet and we're all communicating in text, you have plenty of time to step away from the triggery stuff and do something soothing if you've been having a bad day instead of hitting 'post comment', which I would honestly recommend because, like the zen koan says, you have no idea what kind of day the other person's been having and if it's okay for you to use that excuse, it's just as valid for them ... snark isn't going to do anything for anyone.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, but I think it's fairly obvious that OP wasn't intentionally trying to be offensive by that one little line in their secret. I could understand flipping out at them if they had been overtly ignorant or hostile, but this kind of response doesn't really seem proportionate and will only alienate people and make them too afraid to say anything about trans folks for fear of causing great offense and getting attacked. It's probably a lot more effective to gently correct someone and explain why they could have used a different choice of words in cases like this.

signed,

A trans anon who wishes there could be an environment in which people could openly talk about trans related issues without being dogpiled for every misstep

[(Anonymous)]

if this thread is "flipping out" and "attacking" i'd hate to see what people call it when there are ACTUAL strong reactions. the most i've seen directed at the op is comments along the lines of "why does it matter if you're straight, you know he's a guy, right?"

[(Anonymous)]

If you don't think this comment section has been hostile, you really need to look up the meaning of hostility in the Dictionary.