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Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2011-10-23 03:44 pm

[ SECRET POST #1755 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1755 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 09 pages, 206 secrets from Secret Submission Post #251.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 2 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2011-10-23 09:26 pm (UTC)(link)
I also pity you for being ashamed enough to be in that much denial, TBH (and if my guess is right, religious conditioning is likely to blame). Hating yourself for having a very natural desire just because you've been raised by pious nutjobs to think it's evil, dirty, or sinful can't be healthy.

[identity profile] baka-deshi.livejournal.com 2011-10-23 09:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Or they could legitimately have a low sex drive. It is true that not everyone wants sex. (Still doesn't mean that the rest of the world has been brainwashed into having erections by "the media", though.)

(Anonymous) 2011-10-23 09:39 pm (UTC)(link)
That doesn't explain their being against porn existing for everyone else to enjoy, though.

[identity profile] saturnonjupiter.livejournal.com 2011-10-23 09:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Like I told some other guy, take (modern) philosophy.

Arguments that porn infantilizes people or their perception and similar things are quite common, even without religious backing. Fair enough if you don't agree with philosophers' analysis of it but it's not like there aren't well-educated scholars who debate ethics and such who think it does more harm than good.

(Anonymous) 2011-10-23 09:55 pm (UTC)(link)
I have, actually. And I personally think that even if they don't cite religion outright, religious conditioning against sex (that it's amoral and dirty unless you're actively trying to have a baby) is so pervasive in the Western world at least that they're subscribing to it whether they realize it or not. There's a baseline level of negativity towards sex that simply accepted as "okay."

[identity profile] saturnonjupiter.livejournal.com 2011-10-23 09:58 pm (UTC)(link)
omfg talk about conditioning LMFAO.

Sex is good - between a man and his wife. Otherwise it has no need to be happening.

Awaiting the feminists being mad I said 'his'.

(Anonymous) 2011-10-23 10:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Go back to the 50's

[identity profile] baka-deshi.livejournal.com 2011-10-23 09:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Engh. You can make an argument that most forms of media can negatively impact social norms and behavior -- I'm not sure why sexual entertainment must always be singled out first. Personally I'm much more concerned about normalizing violence.

[identity profile] saturnonjupiter.livejournal.com 2011-10-23 10:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh trust me I roll my eyes just as much whenever cop shows have LET'S SHOOT LIKE 20 GUYS AND NO CONSEQUENCES YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH as when the lead hooks up with some chick whose actress can only make SCREW ME DARLING faces.

I don't like the overuse of violence either and the fact most of the time, it's never shown to have any consequences, if you're the 'good guy'. I think that's stupid as mess.

I may have picked out their deluded view of sex (notice how nobody who sleeps around ever seems to contract an STD unless your name is Charlie Harper and your actor pissed your boss off lololol) for this argument but I have just as many issues with their view of half a dozen other things too.

[identity profile] saturnonjupiter.livejournal.com 2011-10-23 09:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Not in denial.

rofl dude the vast majority of religion doesn't teach SEX IS SINFUL, they teach the conditions desired prior to having sex. The emphasis is on how SPECIAL and SACRED it is, something the media lacks with how casually they toss it around.

Your life, I'm not telling you how to live but.. to even claim RELIGIOUS CONDITIONING GRRRR YOU HATE SEX AND THINK IT'S EVIL. No. lol. I think sex has a place and that place isn't everywhere.

(Anonymous) 2011-10-23 09:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Mentioning "the bible" in your interests combined with the typical religious right-wing nutjob rhetoric you've spewed all over in this thread betrays you, I'm afraid.

And actually, many religions (at least of the Judeo-Christian-Islamic model) teach that sex is only a tool for procreation. If you derive any pleasure from it at all, it's defilement, and a vile, horrible sin. This goes double if you're a woman.

[identity profile] saturnonjupiter.livejournal.com 2011-10-23 09:54 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't think it betrays me since I never claimed otherwise.

Ummmm are you basing that statement off what you heard from your religion-hating internet friends or facts about the ninth century??
It sort of says right in the Bible sex is intended to be enjoyed between one man and one woman in their marriage. It's.. not a bad thing, sorry. I wasn't raised to believe that, simply that there is something special about it and the overdone Hollywood ideals of sex are nonsense.

You don't fly into a raging fit at everyone if you don't orgasm for a month, sorry. Myth busted.

(Anonymous) 2011-10-23 09:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Nope, I heard that at mass every week for the first 16 years of my life that I was forced to attend. Just studying the Bible doesn't give you anywhere near an accurate picture of religion's attitude toward sex, because a lot of what's in the book (which is already misogynistic as hell) gets warped even moreso once it's filtered through a sermon.

[identity profile] saturnonjupiter.livejournal.com 2011-10-23 10:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh well I heard something different at my church so...

I do have some issues with how Catholics have taken things and think they aren't quite right. The whole BC thing? Errr yeah might've missed the mark there.

But, Catholicism =/= the other denominations of Christianity by a long shot. P sure most of them just take the "don't have sex before marriage your virginity is a special thing to give to your spouse" standpoint which is more accurate.

(Anonymous) 2011-10-23 10:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Nope. Having attended churches of other denominations as a guest when traveling with friends out of town (Lutheran, Southern Baptist, and Presbyterian, in case you're curious), it's very similar to the Catholic attitude. Sex is only okay if you're married and trying to procreate, and if you start to like it too much you need to beg forgiveness for...something.

[identity profile] saturnonjupiter.livejournal.com 2011-10-23 10:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Well I'm.. not quite sure what to tell you. That's definitely not how it should be taken.

Sex is meant to be fun but only with your spouse, is my opinion. You def don't need to solely be trying to make babies or anything. But.. you don't need to have sex at all to get through life.

(Anonymous) 2011-10-23 10:26 pm (UTC)(link)
NAYRT

No, you don't need to. Just like you don't really need your favorite foods to get through life, either. But if you can have it and you want it and you can get it without harming anyone else, why on earth would you choose to deny yourself?

FTR, I have no interest in sex period, but for those who enjoy it? More power to them and they should have as much of it as they want as long as they're smart and safe about it.

[identity profile] saturnonjupiter.livejournal.com 2011-10-23 10:30 pm (UTC)(link)
With regards to porn, many would argue it does harm others by messing with your sense of adult sexuality/proper sexual interaction with others.

Plus just look at Jersey Shore every time one of those blockheads has sex there's another cryfest the next morning. Clearly it makes everyone on your block's hangover worse by enducing shrieking sobs of remorse and confusion.

tl;dr sex kills kittens don't have it!!!!!!!

(Anonymous) 2011-10-23 11:14 pm (UTC)(link)
For one thing, "proper sexual interaction with others" is going to be different for everyone. As long as no one is being raped, there is no imminent risk of death or serious injury, all people involved are of age and sound mind to give informed consent to sex, and are enjoying themselves, there is nothing that can be called "improper."

And many also argue that porn is a healthy outlet for sexual people with a high libido who don't have the opportunity to have sex. And that sexual frustration and the inability to relieve sexual tension leads to anxiety, mood swings, and even cycles of depression (especially in women; it was called "female hysteria" in the mid-19th century, and treatment, no joke, involved a doctor fingering the patient until she orgasmed).

What I think you need to realize that your experience is not everyone else's. Not having sex or even masturbating works fine for you. It works fine for me, too. For others, take away their right to have sex without a wedding first, or their ability to jack off when they can't find a sexual partner, and they will be utterly miserable.

And judging all extramarital sexual encounters by Jersey Shore immediately invalidates your argument. Sorry.

[identity profile] saturnonjupiter.livejournal.com 2011-10-23 11:21 pm (UTC)(link)
oh sorry I figured the 'sex kills kittens' part would've clued you in I was being a bit silly there, thinking JS is any sort of decent standard to judge by. obviously those people are on the extreme of 'this is why you should wait to have sex or you wind up on tv looking like a fool'.

welp I think that's their own problem if they have such 'high libido'. frankly I feel that's more of a mental thing in their own head where they believe they need sex, whether from another person or their own hand/whatever as opposed to any decent sort of grounding.

idk I think you can get mentally/emotionally messed up from sex as well esp. if you're just not ready to take it seriously/properly so even if there's no physical effects of the negative sort it can still be damaging.

(Anonymous) 2011-10-23 11:41 pm (UTC)(link)
No, it really isn't. In people with high libido, regardless of their sexual preference, there is some very real hormone and brain chemistry at work. The hormones that control sexual urges and arousal are produced by the adrenal glands, which also control fight-or-flight response. Being horny and not being allowed to do anything about it causes a chemical imbalance, which leads to anxiety and even depression.

And even if it was only in their heads, how exactly would you propose "fixing" that? Doping sexually frustrated people up on unnecessary antidepressants and unnecessary therapy so they feel shameful and defective about wanting to masturbate (you know, like we were doing in the 1920s)? Because that's totally not going to mess anyone up at all, right?

Having sex before you're ready to will definitely mess you up, but it's not the sex that's to blame. It's the person giving into pressure to do something they know they aren't ready for.

(no subject)

[identity profile] curseangel.livejournal.com - 2011-10-23 23:44 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] curseangel.livejournal.com 2011-10-23 11:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Having a high or low libido is down to genetics. It's not just a mental thing. And wtf "as opposed to any decent sort of grounding" what does this even mean.

And there is nothing wrong with casual sex. You don't have to take sex seriously, isn't that great? I mean, be responsible, use protection, obviously, but it doesn't have to be all "only with your true love" etc. And it especially doesn't have to only be with someone you're married to. That is so much bullshit. Having casual sex or sex outside of marriage =/= "mentally/emotionally damaging."

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2011-10-24 00:02 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2011-10-24 03:07 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] veronica-rich.livejournal.com 2011-10-24 05:09 am (UTC)(link)
many would argue it does harm others by messing with your sense of adult sexuality/proper sexual interaction with others

That's why we try to make it illegal for 12-year-olds to view porn. It's sort of insulting to imply though, that a 39-year-old isn't possessed of better judgment to know what's pleasant for fantasy and what's healthy in reality. The sincerely nice thing about porn is it's not required reading or viewing - adults can choose not to partake of it. Such as you've chosen not to do. Isn't that cool?

(Anonymous) 2011-10-24 07:55 am (UTC)(link)
What the fuck kind of priest talks about sex at ever single Sunday Mass? Let alone, to specifically say it is evil and dirty (which would be him specifically preaching in opposition to what the Church itself says: I mean, I can quote you the Catechism of the Catholic Church, if you like, to prove that the Catholic position is almost identical to what SaturnOnWhatever is saying). I don't think I've ever heard a Catholic priest mention sex during mass, at all: that tends to be discussed in smaller groups that don't include small children, if at all. And, at least in my church, if he started saying what you said he said, which would be completely in opposition to the Church dogma, there are people in the parish who would confront him with his error.

So basically, either you're completely bullshitting, or your parents took you to some culty church that wasn't in communion with the Catholic Church. Was it SSPX? Or one of those bizarre American Churches that call themselves "Catholic Church of America" and suchlike, then basically do whatever they want?

(Anonymous) 2011-10-24 12:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Go to bed, [livejournal.com profile] fpb.