Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2011-10-31 06:56 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2011-10-31 06:56 pm
[ SECRET POST #1763 ]
⌈ Secret Post #1763 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Somebody's been spamming the submissions post with old secrets, apparently (for what actual purpose, I'm not sure). Just give me a heads up and I'll take the repeats down.
Secrets Left to Post: 08 pages, 200 secrets from Secret Submission Post #252.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - omgiknowthem ], [ 1 2 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
Re: NF
Why is that so hard? Do you honestly vomit out every thought that comes into your head or consider it dishonest somehow? You don't actually have to tell somebody what you think of them and every one of their life choices. You can just mind your own business.
Or hey, guess what, sometimes you feel you really need to, maybe because you honestly care about the person so much, and you'll be willing to face the consequences to help them. Interventions are typically filled with close friends and family members.
But choosing to avoid a person you'd otherwise be friends with just because they smoke seems really petty.
Re: NF
(Anonymous) 2011-11-01 01:55 am (UTC)(link)nayrt
You sound pretty, actually, for judging her for not being friends with someone who smokes. Smoking is disgusting, smelly not just for the smoker but the smokees around her (everyone stinks after being with a smoker), gives not only herself but the smokees around her lung cancer (second hand smoke is even more dangerous than the inhaled smoke due to not being filtered), and it's been proven to cause lung cancer. How much more stupid can someone get. I don't want to be around someone who smokes and it's my choice and it's not stupid or petty either.
I won't be friends with, much less date, a smoker, until they quit or are trying to. My mother smoked until I was 18. I fuckin' hated it. I reeked of smoke, the house reeked of it, she reeked, everything reeked. Yes, I judge you if you smoke. You're a stupid, idiot loser. And yes, I lost a friend who didn't smoke to lung cancer b/c of his career and jobs exposed to smokers on nightly basis. He was trying to be a professional singer and so took care of himself and his voice. So fuck off with the it's harmless crap.
Re: NF
Thank you!
But seriously, wow, you sound mad.
Keep in mind that a moral judgment is different from practical decision-making. Taking an example from another comment, if you have asthma you can and should physically distance yourself from smokers but you can totally do so without judging them. You have the right to say "please don't smoke around me" if you fear it is making you sick, because that's your business. Also it's different to work in a place that's constantly filled with smoke versus hanging around a friend for an hour who occasionally has a cigarette, as I highly doubt the latter will give you cancer. In my state, the first has been addressed by banning smoking in pretty much every inside business. Again, it's a legitimate practical concern that can and should be addressed for the safety of everybody involved, but separate from judging people for having a vice you don't approve of.
Secondly, in this case my problem was as much with the attitude of "If I don't say how I feel, it's somehow dishonest." I see this all the time and it's really irritating. It's not considered dishonest to keep some thoughts to yourself; it's considered a pretty basic part of social interaction.
I'll even admit that after
Re: NF