fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1771 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1771 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 07 pages, 157 secrets from Secret Submission Post #253.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - hit/ship/spiration ], [ 0 - omgiknowthem ], [ 0 - take it to comments ], [ 1 2 3 4 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

There's nothing wrong with reading about unhealthy relationships if they're resented in a negative or neutral way. But a book about an abusive and controlling relationship, where that relationship is presented as the epitome of romance and love? That's...very wrong.

That is my kink.

Nice kink shaming.

I know, right?

All that stuff about how it's wrong to read about unhealthy relationships and you are sick for ever wanting to do so. I think I've really hit my kink-shaming stride here.

Pretty much. LOL. No seriously, this is a lot of people's kink right here. They know it's not realistic. They don't care, because they enjoy it for the same rediculous nonsensical reasons everyone else enjoys their kinks.

And my god is a popular kink. You can point blindfolded at the romance isle and chances are you'd be pointing to something with the I love you, therefore I'll kidnap you, stalk you, do all kinds of dubious things to get you. And all without a trace of of a PSA (ladies, do not do this at home!) in it.

Hmm, I do see what you mean. I guess what I was getting at is whether it was presented that way in the 'realistic' sense rather than the 'escapist' sense. Like you said people with this kink know it's not realistic. The problem with Twilight is that Meyers isn't presenting it as okay in just the realm of this escapist fantasy story, she's presenting it, and has talked about it, as if it's okay in reality . That this is what a romantic, loving relationship in real life would look like. And that will never stop being squicky.

Yeah, and Anne Rice talks as if Lestat was a real person. Just because the author is caught up with her fantasy doesn't mean her audience doesn't get it.

People with this kink don't want to hear how wrong it is. They just don't. Because hearing how wrong it is makes them feel like they shouldn't be enjoying what they like, because as you said, it's wrong. So they go into denial.

But just because they are in denial about their kink doesn't mean that setting them straight is the way to go. All that accomplishes is to make good people feel shitty about the stuff they like for no reason. This is escapist fantasy -- the area where we are allowed to raise our middle fingers at reality and suspend disbelief.

So whenever I see this endless ragging on something people obviously love, it annoys me. Let people enjoy their damn book in peace.

I...didn't say there was anything wrong with having that kink? Or intentionally imply such.

I think it's wrong for a writer to present and talk about an abusive relationship as positive, in a real life, non-escapist way. That's pretty much all my posts have been saying.

I know you are. And I'm not mad at you or anything. I'm just trying to explain that ... that's the kink. I haven't seen the specific interview you were talking about, but I've seen enough of these confrontations to get that both sides are talking cross purpose.

It absolutely 100 percent spoils the kink to think about it as being anything but positive and fluffy. Which is why you aren't going to get some fans to admit, "yeah, this is actually a horrible situation". Because that kills the fantasy. And they like their fantasy.

[ SECRET POST #1771 ]

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