case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2011-12-05 07:52 pm

[ SECRET POST #1798 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1798 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 08 pages, 196 secrets from Secret Submission Post #257.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 1 - hit/ship/spiration ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2011-12-06 01:23 am (UTC)(link)
I'm 30 years old, married with a good job and a family, and I still think fat people are gross.

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[identity profile] megalomaniageek.livejournal.com 2011-12-06 01:28 am (UTC)(link)
You apparently also lack reading comprehension. "When your emotional states graduate from high school" does not have to do with physical age, and yes that is the opinion of a mentally high school aged person.

Actually no, that's pretty offensive to teenagers who can be much more mature than that.

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[identity profile] curseangel.livejournal.com 2011-12-06 01:29 am (UTC)(link)
Then you're.. an asshole who never learned to grow the fuck up and/or respect people and/or how to be a decent human being? Congratulations, I guess. I feel bad for any kids you may have, getting shown such disgusting hate.

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(Anonymous) 2011-12-06 01:33 am (UTC)(link)
NAYRT

I have to say, my daughter was raised to be kind to others and never heard any negativity about body size from my husband, myself, or my mother (the only people who cared for her), yet in the middle of Disney World she stood up, pointed to a woman in line ahead of us, and clearly announced "THAT WOMAN IS FAT." She didn't know it was offensive - she was making an observation, just as she announced that another woman was wearing blue sandals and that a little boy was holding a Bambi doll.

Kids notice these things with no coaching.

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(Anonymous) 2011-12-06 01:35 am (UTC)(link)
noticing =/= saying fat people are gross

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[identity profile] curseangel.livejournal.com 2011-12-06 01:38 am (UTC)(link)
Oh yeah, I get that. And you know, there's a metric fuckton of societal prejudice against fat people and fatphobia in our culture and society that teaches children to hate/demean/etc. fat people even if their parents do their absolute best to teach them not to hate people based on body size or behave in a way that's fatphobic. Fatphobia is endorsed in our schools, ffs. It's hard to beat, and a lot of times the best you can do is just tell the kid that [x] thing they said is wrong and why.

And then of course, you have kids like yours who just don't know what they're saying is offensive. I think most people get that, like, I can only speak for myself, but if some kid went "THAT LADY IS FAT" I'd probably feel really bad, but objectively I'd understand that they weren't hating on me, they were just saying what they saw; if their parent or parents apologized to me for it I'd be more than okay with it. But my subjective reaction (feeling bad about myself) wouldn't be the kid's fault.

Of course, you know, then you have people like the anon I replied to who probably express their hatred of and disgust over fat people all the time and are incredibly body-size negative, fatphobic, etc. and who either intentionally or unintentionally teach that hate to their children... and they're the truly disgusting ones. Not the parents who can't help what society tells their children, or whose kids say things that are out of line sometimes without meaning to or knowing it's wrong, but the ones who teach hate intentionally.

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(Anonymous) 2011-12-06 04:11 am (UTC)(link)
I've been in that situation, being called fat by a small child who didn't mean anything bad by it ("That lady's belly is BIG!"), and when the parents act all horrified and overly-concerned THAT is what makes me feel bad and pisses me off. My belly is big--that's an objectively true statement. When the parents turn it into a big deal, then it's awkward and starts to feel hurtful. If the kid just says it once and then moves on, I wish the parents would ignore it and maybe address it later.

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[identity profile] kryptoncat.livejournal.com 2011-12-06 02:08 am (UTC)(link)
I actually remember the last time I innocently called someone fat. Then I saw the look of hurt on that person's face. I never want to make someone feel that way again, and I'm glad now I was disciplined for saying that. Yes, kids are ignorant, but with guidance they can become someone amazing, respectful, and kind, which is what I one day hope to be.

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(Anonymous) 2011-12-06 01:31 am (UTC)(link)
god i hope you don't have children


what a terrible parent you must be

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(Anonymous) 2011-12-06 01:34 am (UTC)(link)
lol that's ridiculous, I'm sure anon's kids are just fine. you are allowed to not like fat people.

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(Anonymous) 2011-12-06 01:40 am (UTC)(link)
yes, teaching your children to be judgemental little shits and also making them anxious about their weight is such a good parenting technique, you're right

nah

if they act like such a snobby judgemental jerk to people around their children and encourge those values in them, op is a crappy parent who encourages their children to be hateful bullies

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[identity profile] curseangel.livejournal.com 2011-12-06 01:57 am (UTC)(link)
No, you really aren't. Well, scratch that, you shouldn't be. People are not their bodies. No one's body is inherently bad because of its size, and no person is inherently bad because of their body. jfc.

It is seriously disgusting that you think it's alright to raise children to believe that some people are intrinsically bad, disgusting, unclean, etc. simply because of the size of their body. Not because they're jerks, or because they're bullies, or because they're slobs, but simply because their pants are a certain size? That's not completely fucking monstrous to you, to hate someone for such a petty and stupid reason?

People should teach their children that everyone is a person, that everyone is unique and beautiful, that people come in many shapes and sizes and colors and that all of those shapes and sizes and colors are okay. People should teach their children respect and kindness, not hate and loathing.

And further, as the above anon noted, that kind of disgusting hate bounces back. Being taught that fat people are disgusting will instill a fear in children of being fat, which can lead to disordered eating, depression and other serious issues. Being shown that one of your parents, whom you love, hates fat people and thinks they are gross will instill a fear of becoming "too big" and earning that hatred and disgust for yourself. Trust me, I know - my mother is intensely fatphobic and I still have issues due to it today.

But mostly, simply this: It is never okay to hate someone based on a physical trait which they may or may not be able to change. Never. It is not "okay" to hate fat people just because they are fat. The state of being fat says nothing about their worth or quality as a human being.

I and other fat people are more than our size. We are more than the stereotypes and prejudice lobbed at us from ignorant, disgusting people who feel the need to find somebody to hate and judge. We are beautiful despite the people who think we are ugly no matter what. We are special. We have character, personalities, and feelings, even if you don't care that you hurt them. And we deserve not to have people teach their children to hate us simply because of our weight.

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(Anonymous) 2011-12-06 01:34 am (UTC)(link)
You're thirty years old and you still go to cons?

Lol

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(Anonymous) 2011-12-06 01:36 am (UTC)(link)
Where did I say I went to cons? Reading comprehension.

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(Anonymous) 2011-12-06 01:43 am (UTC)(link)
I thought you were the OP.

Nevertheless, you're obviously 30 years old and still trolling fandom communities on lj. Sad. You know, most people grow out of that phase by the time they're twenty.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2011-12-06 01:49 am (UTC)(link)
Excuse me? Not the anon you replied to, but are you seriously implying anyone over 20 should not be on LJ? LMAO.

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(Anonymous) 2011-12-06 01:54 am (UTC)(link)
I'm suggesting by the time you're thirty years old, married, with a steady job and a family, you probably should have better things to do with your time than trolling on the internet about how disgusting fat people are.

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(Anonymous) 2011-12-06 02:03 am (UTC)(link)
So nobody is allowed to spend time on the internet once they become parents?

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(Anonymous) 2011-12-06 02:11 am (UTC)(link)
Sure

Trolling about how disgusting fat people are, though?

Kind of embarrassing

Just imagine how you'd explain that to your kids.

"Hey baby, know what Mommy did today while you were at school? I told a bunch of people on the internet that fat people are disgusting and laughable. By the way, don't ever be fat. Because then you'll be disgusting. Careful how much you eat!"

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(Anonymous) 2011-12-06 01:38 am (UTC)(link)
That doesn't mean you're not an immature ass. Actually, it makes you even worse.

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(Anonymous) 2011-12-06 01:45 am (UTC)(link)
It's just because you used to be fat. You've got a lot of pent-up hatred from all those years of feeling maligned and undesirable, and, although you eventually "took action" and lost the weight, you substituted getting thin with loving/accepting your body. Since these issues of self-love remain unresolved due to your emotional band-aid job, you can't bear the thought of other people's fatness because they remind you of your own weaknesses. This is really something that you should explore with your therapist.