fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1801 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1801 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Venture Brothers]

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03.

[Batman]

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04.

[It's Not My fault I'm Not Popular]

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05.

[Ray Force]

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06.

[The Future I Whisper to You/Stargate Atlantis]

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07.

[Terry Pratchett's Going Postal]

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08.

[Code Geass]

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09.

[Gokusen]

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10.

[Code Geass]

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11.

[Alison Brie/How I Met Your Mother]

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12.

[The Vampire Diaries]

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13.

[Final Fantasy X]

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14.

[Supernatural]

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15.

[Community]

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16.

[Martin Solveig]

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17.

[Clocktower series]

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18.

[Winnie the Pooh]

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19.

[Supernatural]

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20.

[Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers]

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21.

[The Sing-Off]

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22.

[Oglaf]

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23.

[Strangers with Candy]

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24.

[Supernatural]

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25.

[The Lion King]

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26.

[S-CRY-ed]

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27.

[Bones]

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28.

[Fate/Zero]

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29.

[A Christmas Carol]

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30.

[Sequential Art]

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31.

[ZUN/Jun'ya Ota]

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32.

[Diablo 2]

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33.

[Friends]

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34.

[Winter Soldier #1]

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35.

[Supernatural, Florence + the Machine]

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36.

[Victorious]

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37.

[Easy A]

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38.

[The Vampire Diaries]

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39.

[The Vampire Diaries]

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40.

[Holly Black, Spiderwick Chronicles]

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41.

[Monkey Island]

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42.

[The Vampire Diaries]

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43.

[Kurokami/Black God]

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44.

[Eden of the East]

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Notes:

Rec meme on Saturday, then!

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 050 secrets from Secret Submission Post #257.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - personal attack ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Hey, OP, I just want to say that I completely agree with you on finding male and female genitals gross, and also I don't think you're being misogynistic, nor do I think that you are suggesting that women should feel ashamed of their genitals. I have seen no one in this thread (so far) claim that reading your views on female genitals has changed their opinion on them, and if anything the most negative responses have been along the lines of; "yes, they look gross, but damn, I love how they work".

I read earlier that you had tried masturbation, but that it didn't make you feel any better about the appearance of the vagina/vulva. I'm the same. Masturbation feels nice, but no more so than a head massage, to my mind. Also, with masturbation you have to put up with getting your fingers wet and sticky and smelly which is not a nice experience either, I feel. And of course if I think about what it actually looks like down there, it just makes touching it feel skeevy. So, um, yes, maybe this is an odd view, but you're not alone in thinking what you do.

I don't feel gender dsyphoric, and I don't think that's what's going on with you either - but of course that's something we each have to figure out for ourselves. I'm happy defining myself as asexual biromantic, which takes genitals out of the equation. In theory.

with masturbation you have to put up with getting your fingers wet and sticky and smelly

not necessarily? I mean, one could use toys or just rub against something? no need to get your fingers dirty :b

Tried it by rubbing and fingers, neither yielded very nice results. I will say though, using fingers was by far the least enjoyable. Even after scrubbing them clean, I felt like I couldn't shake people's hands for a week, and the brief squish sound I heard will haunt me forever.

Wow, you just made me feel a lot less mentally touched. It's really, really comforting to me that you seem to feel the same way and have experienced the same things, because pretty much anyone I've ever even started talking to about this has either become so uncomfortable that I felt it'd be rude to go on (especially to the masturbation point), or they have said that I just don't know the wonders of the human body yet. It's almost sad how many people say "you haven't had an orgasm, so you don't know how you really feel." Heads-up, people: yes I have, and it's not that great to me. Come to think of it, yeah, a head massage is pretty much equivalent, or scratching a particularly itchy itch. I can't say anything for sex since I don't much want it, but not being able to even try anything if I found someone to love would be pretty disheartening.

The best way to describe myself tends to be "asexual heteromantic," but at the same time I'm not sure if I'm interested in physical things or not, since I'm so rarely attracted to someone. Maybe I should just focus on giving pleasure instead of receiving it, maybe something simple like clothes-on grinding would be enough for me. Doesn't sound too bad, come to think of it, as long as the clothes stay on, and maybe it'd be different with another person there. Who knows.

Man, I wish we could be LJ friends. It's so nice talking candidly to someone who feels the same way.

scratching a particularly itchy itch

man, that does feel REALLY good sometimes, lol.

i'm sorry some of the people in this thread are giving you grief over your feelings on your own genitalia. (i get that maybe the "most vaginas/penises" could've set someone off, but that's just your opinion, and it's especially colored by your own experiences.) i mean, shit, i consider myself as pretty seriously involved in feminism, but i still think genitalia are weird and unfortunate-looking. not on the level you're feeling, of course, but it is entirely possible to think "hey, that is maybe not the most aesthetically-pleasing thing i seen" while still being generally comfortable with yourself, sexually. it's kind of annoying to see the body police up in here telling us that it's wrong to tell people you don't fucking loooooove your genitals.

it couldn't hurt to go talk to a professional, if you're comfortable with that. at the very least you might be able to turn the nausea about owning a vagina into... peaceful cohabitance, i guess?

Exactly! Peaceful co-habitance is all I really want. I'm not sure why the fact that I'm not there yet is so upsetting (triggering even, maybe?) to some people. I really do wonder what sort of person would have such a hard time understanding interpersonal differences. It's more interesting than hurtful, haha.

Oh, what a surprise. A self-identified asexual.

Suddenly all of the "icky girl-parts are gross and scary and way too sexual looking ew it's like a demanding maw" language becomes completely understandable.

"A self-identified asexual."
Uh. Aren't most people's sexualities self-identified?

Wow, you really have a thing about this don't you

You could just as easily blame it on the media that constantly portrays aliens or monsters with vulva-mouthes, but you don't. Hell, even in kid's cartoons monsters sometimes have the big vertical slit-mouth (Marceline's dad in Adventure Time would've scared me into distrusting anything resembling a slit-mouth when I was little.)

But no, it's that bullshit "all asexuals are uncomfortable with their bodies and never want sex" cliche. There are plenty of asexuals who are happy in their bodies, and even enjoy sex.
"Asexual" just means they don't find people attractive very often, if at all.
Learn your terminolgy.
Also, agreed with other anon: when is sexuality not self-defined? Did someone once tell you that you're straight/gay/whatever and you just took that and ran with it or what?

the only thing I can think of is that maybe anon thinks that asexuality is some kind of disorder that you should be diagnosed with or something (and so they're saying "self-identified" with the sort of derision that some people do when they're rolling their eyes at "self diagnosed" Aspergers cases)? but yeah, idgi either. pretty silly either way

I'm glad I could help - it was also nice for me to hear that someone else felt similarly about such body issues. The whole "you haven't had sex, how do you know you won't like it" argument is pretty annoying, because to be fair people should also ask "if you've never had sex, how do you know you want it?" to the sex-inclined virgins, and they don't. I think a relationship without sex or physical relations entirely must be difficult, as romance and lust seem to go hand in hand for most people, but it sounds like you would be open to physical relations as long as they don't focus on the vagina. That leaves open a whole range of sexual activities you could do without feeling disgust, were you prepared to do them for the sake of your partner, who should understand if its a strong enough relationship. Heck, I imagine many would even appreciate your willingness to be the pleasure-giver.

I can't offer LJ friendship I'm afraid, as I'm too much of a lurker and can't even remember my account details - but might I suggest an asexuality forum as a place for you to talk candidly to individuals who are less likely to judge, and more likely to understand? I'd recommend aven (asexuality.org) or there's asexuality.livejournal.com?

And I can't go un-anon for cowardice. It's a real tragedy, our friendship-not-to-be. I'm just glad that we got to talk at all :)

I'm definitely taking what the [sane] people in this thread have said to heart, and I think I really do need to see someone about this. It's always been at the back of my mind, and even having gone to therapy a few times I never brought it up because I thought it was just one of those things that didn't matter. But recently, it's really been getting to me (maybe because I'm older) and I'll do my best to get to a point where I can at least accept my body. Thank you for your kind words. Have a wonderful life!

[ SECRET POST #1801 ]

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ayrt

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