fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1830 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1830 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Masterchef Australia]

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03.

[Grimm]

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04.

[Cracked.com]

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05.

[Stargate Universe]

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06.

[Skulduggery Pleasant]

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07.

[Young Justice]

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08.

[Chobits]

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09.

[Sailor Moon, Howard Stern]

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10.

[The Wonder Years/How I Met Your Mother]

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11.

[Community]

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12.

[Homestuck]

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13.

[Nutcracker, Motion Picture]

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14.

[David Archuleta]

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15.

[Love Actually]

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16.

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17.

[itskingsleybitch]

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18. [repeat]

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19.

[FFVII]

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20.

[Shake it Up/Bones]

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21.

[Sherlock Series 1]

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22.

[Pokemon]

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23. [repeat]

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24.

[Hatoful Boyfriend]

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25.

[Wonder Woman]

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26.

[James Deen]

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27.

[The Iron Giant]

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28.

[Code Geass]

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29.

[Code Geass]

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30.

[Code Geass]

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31.

[Code Geass]

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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

32. [SPOILERS for Dead Rising 2: Off The Record]

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33. [SPOILERS for Skyrim]

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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

34. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape]

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35. [TRIGGER WARNING for mentions of rape]

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36. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape]

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37. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #261.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Except by her own admission, she didn't tell because she felt compelled to tell a friend the truth, she told as an ATTACK. So honestly, I think her friend would be justified in not being her friend anymore. I have friends who've confessed things to me, but they've never done it in an attempt to HURT me.

SA:

That's horrible and I can't seriously believe you just said that. Seriously? OP has gone through an extremely traumatic event that has affected her for YEARS, and may continue to affect her for the rest of her life. She's never had the courage to reveal it. She has a friend who MADE HER TRAUMA WORSE. Regardless of her friend's intentions, she HURT the OP.

And when the OP lashes out at that friend, you think the friend has the right to just ditch her?

Let's take a different situation. Let's say OP was injured in a hit-and-run accident, and she's never had justice for it. She's still walking on crutches, and in pain every day, and has missed out on things in her life because of what some coward did to her. And one day her friend is running around at her house and completely by accident, knocks out one of her crutches. The friend doesn't even notice, she just keeps barreling around. The OP picks herself up and she's had a long day and she's tired and really mad, both at the friend and the driver who hit her with a car. She shouts at the friend, way more than is justified, and tells her how much pain she's in, and how hard it is, and how horrible hospital was. The friend is upset and tearful, which is only natural. But you know what a good friend would do? Apologise. Not necessarily for knocking her over - maybe she still doesn't realise that was her fault - but just apologise for what happened to her, because a good friend would see that she is angry and in pain for a reason. She needs to hear someone say "this isn't your fault" and "it's okay to be mad about this". It doesn't matter if it isn't all the friend's fault or not. If she's a good friend she has a responsibility to help the OP, and support her in any way she can.

So yeah, I don't know how old you are or if you've ever been in OP's situation, but what you just said was just plain nasty. I hope no friend of yours has to rely on you until you've grown up a bit.

Thank you. This person clearly has NO IDEA opf the seriousness of rape and puts petty 'oh, just be nice to your friends whatever they do' above anything else. Utter dickhead.

No shit. Not dignifying any of his other ridiculous responses because this just said it all. He's an asshole.

Speaking as a survivor, I think you're wrong. What you're saying is "Because Person A inflicted a really terrible hurt on Person B, Person B is justified in deliberately inflicting hurt on Person C, who hurt Person B unintentionally because they did not guess something that Person B deliberately never told them." About the only way you could make that advice worse is advising B that what they suffered at the hands of A entitles them to hurt Person D, a random stranger.

Thank you, I respect your comment very much and I don't think we're actually in disagreement; I should have clarified that I don't think what OP did was right, I merely thought it was very understandable given the circumstances and not something they should guilt themselves over. I was responding to

insanenoodleguy's comment that "her friend would be justified in not being her friend anymore" which IMO is both totally wrong and extremely unhelpful. No, a survivor doesn't have a get-out-of-jail-free card to maliciously hurt those around them, but I don't think the OP believes that ( why would they make this secret if they did?). I do, however, think that a good friend would not take OP's actions as malicious, even if they were hurtful. I think a good friend would forgive OP readily and help her move forward as best she can.

I admit I'm not a rape survivor, but I have been through trauma to the point of severe depression, and the constant guilt I felt for the way I treated my friends only made my relationship with those friends worse. It wasn't until I admitted to myself that a) the hurt I'd done them was actually negligible compared to what I was feeling and b) the hurt those friends had done me (by accident!) was real, and my anger against them was justified, that I could start to heal our relationships. A year on, I still feel angry about what I went through, but those people who made it worse (again, by accident!) are now my best friends. I'm in a much better place because I stopped blaming myself for everything and just accepted that both of us did wrong but neither of us deserve to be punished. Ultimately my advice remains my opinion, so I'm not pretending to speak for rape survivors or know what's best for individual situations. It just sounds to me like the last thing OP needs right now is people (not you, but other people in this thread) telling her she's done something terrible and her friend should be running for the hills.

It just sounds to me like the last thing OP needs right now is people (not you, but other people in this thread) telling her she's done something terrible and her friend should be running for the hills.

There are not enough Word Pies in the world to bake you right now.

I appreciate that a lot :)

I don't know if OP is reading this, but if you are, I want to reiterate: look after yourself first, because you are the one most in need of looking after. If you're still worried about your friend, I promise you'll find it easier to take care of her if you put your emotional health first. Remember that you didn't create this situation and it isn't your fault.

[ SECRET POST #1830 ]

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