[ SECRET POST #1830 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1830 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.
[Masterchef Australia]


__________________________________________________



03.
[Grimm]


__________________________________________________



04.
[Cracked.com]


__________________________________________________



05.
[Stargate Universe]


__________________________________________________



06.
[Skulduggery Pleasant]


__________________________________________________



07.
[Young Justice]


__________________________________________________



08.
[Chobits]


__________________________________________________



09.
[Sailor Moon, Howard Stern]


__________________________________________________



10.
[The Wonder Years/How I Met Your Mother]


__________________________________________________



11.
[Community]


__________________________________________________



12.
[Homestuck]


__________________________________________________



13.
[Nutcracker, Motion Picture]


__________________________________________________



14.
[David Archuleta]


__________________________________________________



15.
[Love Actually]


__________________________________________________



16.


__________________________________________________



17.
[itskingsleybitch]


__________________________________________________



18. [repeat]


__________________________________________________



19.
[FFVII]


__________________________________________________



20.
[Shake it Up/Bones]


__________________________________________________



21.
[Sherlock Series 1]


__________________________________________________



22.
[Pokemon]


__________________________________________________



23. [repeat]


__________________________________________________



24.
[Hatoful Boyfriend]


__________________________________________________



25.
[Wonder Woman]


__________________________________________________



26.
[James Deen]


__________________________________________________



27.
[The Iron Giant]


__________________________________________________



28.
[Code Geass]


__________________________________________________



29.
[Code Geass]


__________________________________________________



30.
[Code Geass]


__________________________________________________



31.
[Code Geass]


__________________________________________________













[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]










32. [SPOILERS for Dead Rising 2: Off The Record]



__________________________________________________



33. [SPOILERS for Skyrim]



__________________________________________________
















[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]














34. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape]



__________________________________________________



35. [TRIGGER WARNING for mentions of rape]



__________________________________________________



36. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape]



__________________________________________________



37. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape]



__________________________________________________













Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #261.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

OP, speaking as a survivor, I want to offer the following distinction:

What you did was perfectly understandable.
What you did was not perfectly okay.

One of the obstacles survivors face is a strain of ostensibly pro-survivor culture which says "Oh my God, sexual assault is such a terrible thing to go through, that anyone who goes through it should be given free rein to do whatever they have to do in reaction to the pain." Why is this an obstacle? Because it's ultimately an illusion. What survivors really need, and deserve, is to be able to go around in society just as normally as they can. Even if they live their whole lives in protected survivor-bubbles, privileged by never having to control their outbursts, it's actually a lonely position to be in.

And what really happens if everyone around you knows that you might go off on them anytime, deliberately hurting them for something they had no idea was hurting you? That's right. People start trying not to be around you.

You went off on your friend because you had a lot of pain; because your friend, without any ill intent but it sounds with a good deal of obliviousness, had compounded that pain; because that pain had had lots of years in which to fester and compound and get worse. What you did was perfectly understandable. We're all human; one of the sad facts of being human is that we all have breaking points, past which we do terrible things just in hopes that it will stop the pain.

But what you did was not the way you want to behave, because, even in the most self-centered analysis, it will drive people away from you, and in a more humane analysis, you are hurting people who never meant you harm. You need to deal with what you went through, both so that it doesn't cause you such constant pain and so that you can handle in a healthier way the pain that you do feel.

How you do that is something you have to choose; I recommend cognitive-behavioral therapy, but whatever is right for you is what you should go for. I also recommend medication as an adjunct to therapy; many people are intensely against that on principle, but I find many of them don't actually understand what a good anti-depressant actually does for you. They think it's a "happy pill" that puts you in a state of artificial joy or numbs you to your "true feelings", and they violently reject that. What a good anti-depressant ("good" meaning the one that's right for your own neuro-chemistry, which unfortunately can take some trial and error to discover) will do for you is to tone down the emotional overreactions that become second nature in a state of long-term depression or anxiety. Much of depression and anxiety is actually a feedback loop; something legitimate may trigger a response of pain or panic, but then the pain or panic triggers a response of "oh, god, I'm going down in this depression again; it's agonizing and devastates me; I can't take it, why does this happen to me" and it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. What a good anti-depressant does is introduces enough space into the feedback loop so that, you might feel the feedback loop starting but you have the chance to try and head it off by thinking, "You know? I don't actually have to expose myself to this triggering thing; I can go and look at cat videos instead and that's much better for me than losing the next two days to depression." And when a friend unintentionally does something that hurts you, instead of letting them have it with both barrels, you can say, "I can't believe my friend has never figured out what happened to me, but if I just told her 'look, anything with rape in it is really painful for me to read,' she'd probably understand well enough not to pressure me, and maybe she'd figure out that I have something I need to talk about. I can give her the chance to really be my friend."

There's a saying in the self-help community that sounds pretty facile, but when you get right down to it, is damned good advice: "It's easier to wear slippers than to carpet the world." Along with "easier" I'd add "more rewarding," as it makes more of the world open to you and lets you have closer, stronger friendships.