case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2012-01-08 04:11 pm

[ SECRET POST #1832 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1832 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 06 pages, 139 secrets from Secret Submission Post #262.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2012-01-08 10:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Why is it that I always hear about host families in Japan being dicks? I swear I have like three different friends who all say their host families were horrible, one even had to change her first one. :S

Anyway, OP, you're not a weeaboo. Weeaboo are people who fetisize Japan and anything Japanese without actually having first-hand experience/knowledge.

(Anonymous) 2012-01-08 10:23 pm (UTC)(link)
I was with a host family in Japan, and of the roughly 12 people who were with the same program in the time I was there, there was 1 who had a problem with his host family and had to be moved - and I will bet money that that was more because of him than because of his host family, because he was such an otaku it was embarrassing, and apparently he became enraged and wanted to change families because his host mother threw out an opened crisps packet she found under the desk in his room.
Anyway, I meant to say: small sample sizes disguise the different experiences, I guess. Also, maybe the cultural differences are less disrupting depending on the origins of the guest, which might cause less friction.

(Anonymous) 2012-01-08 11:03 pm (UTC)(link)
My friend who had to change her host family was really polite and already knew a lot about Japanese customs and habits, her host family just happened to be pretty unpleasant apparently.
But I agree with you. I also know lots of people who really loved their families, so I'm not assuming it's always the host family's fault (most likely, in reality, it never is) if things go wrong.

(Anonymous) 2012-01-10 02:49 am (UTC)(link)
"Most likely it never is" is as illogical and offensive as "Most likely it always is." Most likely, both situations occur, and perhaps more in one direction than the other.

(Anonymous) 2012-01-09 12:32 am (UTC)(link)
I liked both of the host families I had when I was there. But really it's easy to have rough patches in situations like this. Different cultures have very different views of hospitality and different expectations of guests, as well as just general cultural differences that can lead to frustration that can lead to either party seeming douchey.

Did your friends hate all the members of their host families? In some cases, I think there are issues when one family member wants to host but others don't, and the others end up acting rude. My brother was a little rude when my family hosted a delegate from Japan. :/ (He wasn't outright mean to her or anything but he ignored her a lot and refused to participate in any activities.)

[identity profile] ncc-gqmf.livejournal.com 2012-01-09 12:52 am (UTC)(link)
One factor might be that Japanese people do just tend to respond to certain things in a totally different way than Westerners. I had a lovely time with my first host family nine years ago, and most of the people I knew who were in my program had a lovely time... but looking back, I realize that we all also had the benefit of not having any real problems otherwise.

I recently had to stay with another Japanese family for a few days because of some let's just say difficulties, and they tried really really hard to help! ...but their approach to hard times is completely different, much more pragmatic and not at all equipped to deal with emotional fallout, and it ended up making me feel a lot worse.

ETA: Also, even with my lovely original host family, they could be pretty insensitive because sensitivity is just not a thing here. My host mom called me fat a couple times and didn't get why that would be a problem.
Edited 2012-01-09 00:53 (UTC)

(Anonymous) 2012-01-09 06:52 am (UTC)(link)
I did not have a great time with my host family when I went over, to the point where I chose to stay in a dorm when I went back.

This was through no fault of theirs, nor was it severe, but it was because I was 16 and stupid.