Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2012-01-20 07:34 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2012-01-20 07:34 pm
[ SECRET POST #1844 ]
⌈ Secret Post #1844 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
01.
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02. [broken]
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03.
[Venture Bros]
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04.
[Benedict Cumberbatch]
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05.
[Dungeons of Dredmor]
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06.
[One Direction]
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07.
[ASoIaF]
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08.
[That Guy With The Glasses]
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09.
[The Black Jewels Series]
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10.
[Les Miserables]
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11.
[Doug Walker/That Guy With The Glasses]
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12.
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13.
[Tripping Over You]
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14.
[Supernatural]
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15.
[Todd Klein]
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16.
[Bakuman]
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17.
[Dragon Age 2]
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18.
[VVVVVV]
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19.
[Sherlock Holmes]
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20.
[House M.D]
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21.
[Charmed]
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22.
[Farscape]
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23.
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24.
[Miss A and Wonder Girls]
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25.
[Pepsi Man]
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26.
[the hunger games / lady gaga]
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27.
[Friends]
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28.
[Star Trek: TNG]
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29.
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30.
[Anno 1790]
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31.
[Happy Endings]
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32.
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33.
[Doctor Who]
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34.
[The Muppets 2011]
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35.
[Hetalia]
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36.
[Dune]
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37.
[Bravestarr]
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38.
[Dreamstone]
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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]
39. [SPOILERS for Pottermore]
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40. [SPOILERS for something not specified]
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41. [SPOILERS for Berserk]
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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]
42. [TRIGGER WARNING for incest, shota]
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43. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape]
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44. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape]
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45. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape]
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46. [TRIGGER WARNING for suicide]
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47. [TRIGGER WARNING for dub-con, domestic abuse, BDSM]
[House]
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #263.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 2 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-01-21 09:57 am (UTC)(link)Yes, I do have major depression and anxiety problems and am taking pills and going to therapy for it.
Yes, I have been suicidal for years on end.
Yes, I have had extremely shitty points in my life that I felt I could never get out of.
I still find it pitiful, because the close people in my life mean so much to me, that I couldn't bear to give them grief of my death.
I know that the mind doesn't exactly work logical in times of severe mental duress, but it still strikes me as so ridiculously weird that someone wouldn't automatically think of the people in their life they're thankful for, instead of the media bullshit. It's almost insulting to those people.
And if they have absolutely no one, well again, that's just kind of sad and fucked up all in itself.
Go ahead and get pissed off at me. Call me callous. Whatever. People are entitled to their opinions.
But don't assume shit about my life or my perspective.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-01-21 11:09 am (UTC)(link)no subject
Depression can screw with empathy at times. I think you do sound callous and I think your opinions are wrong, but it also sounds like you're having a problem, here, identifying with other people.
no subject
"I know that (blank), but (opposite of blank)!"
I sure as fuck thought about the people in my life when I was depressed and suicidal, I thought they'd be better off without me. I was an inconvenience, a drain, a worthless piece of shit who was just going to screw things up eventually. When I was at the lowest point, I had walled myself so far away from anyone and everyone I ever cared about (in the interest of them) that no one wanted to be around me and I can't blame them. In fact, that's exactly what I'd set out to achieve.
If you have caring, supportive people in your life, and if that happened to be your lifeline, that's great for you. That's how you coped. Not everyone copes the same way. And frankly the way you're talking is only becoming more insulting to anyone whose experiences don't match yours. First you wondered if people who were kept from killing themselves by a TV show or movie were "worth" it, now you seem to be accusing them of not caring enough about the people around them. Nothing about any "(fandom) saved my life!" secret I have ever seen implied that the fandom was more important to them than the real people in their life, you're the one making that assumption.
no subject
When you say "my experiences have spoiled me" and "I couldn't go on living if my life was that bad" then hey, maybe people might assume your life is better than it is.
I admit, as I did upthread, that it was as shitty assumption and I really shouldn't jump to conclusions about other people's mental states and life situations based on not enough information.
But regardless, all the things you're saying in the secret and thread are still horrible. You ARE being callous. You are being ridiculously fucking judgmental and assuming a whole lot about the lives of others and other people's experiences with depression and hardship. Not everybody DOES have somebody and it's incredibly hypocritical for you to say it's sad and fucked up, then turn around and say "don't assume shit about my life or my perspective."
no subject
Not everybody has people in their lives that can be a lifeline. That's actually one cause of depression -- losing or not having friends and loved ones in the first place can start a person on a depression spiral.
As people have said, a lot of the time, people with depression often feel so worthless that they feel that offing themselves would be doing everyone they love a favor.
A lot of the time, depression makes you very irrational and self-centered, and you might ignore or be unable to appreciate or care about your loved ones' love and support.
And sometimes, your loved ones' support might be helping you, but the motivation or suspense or excitement of a book or tv show or whatever might provide the little extra something that, when added to your loved ones' support, is enough to keep you alive. And you're saying that anyone who gets over their depression in a way that you decide is stupid is a worthless asshole? Seriously, go fuck yourself.
And btw, the fact that you're depressed does not mean you are magically not acting like a callous, condescending, closed-minded asshole, because you are. Not everyone is exactly like you or conform to the idiotic assumptions you make.
Look, I really am sorry that you're depressed and have had such a difficult time with it for so long, and I don't think you're fundamentally a terrible person -- I don't think anyone is -- but that does not mean what you're *saying* isn't utterly disgusting and ignorant.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-01-22 09:55 am (UTC)(link)I'm diagnosed with dysthimia, low-grade depression lasting for years (15 years+). My depression is different than what you have. So how I handle my depression (especially if I get a shorter-term depression problem or double depression) varies GREATLY from someone who has manic depression.
However, IS IT WORTH IT? Yes. Yes it was. I met friends though my fandom. My BFF is from my fandom. My fandom gave me shit, but it was worth it. Why? Because I would be dead if it wasn't. Hell, I achieved more things via a video game than I did with therapy and drugs. My results are NOT typical, but I am saying that I am unique from other suffers. There can be others like me that don't respond to therapy and drugs well.
Like zombieroadtrip, I thought I was a waste of space, a parasite of my family, hell my extended family doesn't get along with me because they don't understand that even if I become proactive, I won't smile everyday, get married and have 2.5 kids. They don't understand if I exercise and go out it won't make me stop crying about the emotional abuse I had. It won't make up for the decade I honestly barely remembered anymore because of depression.
To get back to the main issue, not everyone will react to the same medication (hell I didn't) as everyone, everyone has different brain chemistry. Please understand that while your depression has that effect on you, it will be different for someone else. What helps them will be different from your circumstances. Don't think it's sad or pity them if media helps them take a step forward. Just be understanding and relate to them.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-01-22 09:58 pm (UTC)(link)And this 'media bullshit' you speak of, where does it come from? Is it created in a vacuum? Does it grow on trees or sprout from the earth? No, it comes from people. Fiction, stories and a form of communication and expression. They are people talking to other people about people. About the world we live in. About the things we feel. Even the cheapest soaps or the most far-out scifi do this. It's stories about us, and most human beings are naturally drawn to stories. We create narratives out of our lives. We have rituals that work as climaxes. There are beginnings and endings and in-betweens.
When a person is connecting with a work of fiction, they are connecting with the people who've created it, the people long before who've told similar stories, who have created tropes and character types, given words meanings and most importantly, they are connecting themselves. We have this incredible ability to feel empathy that words on a page can make us cry and laugh and feel. We can sympathise with people we don't know (like many people in this thread), people who existed centuries ago and people who never existed at all. We cannot read the minds of those around us, and so when you're deep in the dumps, the effort it would take to find out their thoughts and feelings can feel overwhelming. But you can open a book or turn on the tv and find someone showing, feeling, living, and you might find that they think like you, feel like you, experience the same kind of things that you do. That someone somewhere thought similarly. What fiction tells us is that we are not alone even when the people around us are ignorant or insensitive to our suffering.
I'm happy you have another way to cope, but yes, your superiority over it being the only right way is off-putting and callous. Such small simple things can make life worth living. Even when it seems like you're all alone.