[ SECRET POST #1844 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1844 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02. [broken]


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03.
[Venture Bros]


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04.
[Benedict Cumberbatch]


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05.
[Dungeons of Dredmor]


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06.
[One Direction]


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07.
[ASoIaF]


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08.
[That Guy With The Glasses]


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09.
[The Black Jewels Series]


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10.
[Les Miserables]


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11.
[Doug Walker/That Guy With The Glasses]


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12.


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13.
[Tripping Over You]


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14.
[Supernatural]


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15.
[Todd Klein]


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16.
[Bakuman]


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17.
[Dragon Age 2]


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18.
[VVVVVV]


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19.
[Sherlock Holmes]


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20.
[House M.D]


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21.
[Charmed]


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22.
[Farscape]


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23.


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24.
[Miss A and Wonder Girls]


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25.
[Pepsi Man]


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26.
[the hunger games / lady gaga]


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27.
[Friends]


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28.
[Star Trek: TNG]


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29.


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30.
[Anno 1790]


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31.
[Happy Endings]


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32.


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33.
[Doctor Who]


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34.
[The Muppets 2011]


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35.
[Hetalia]


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36.
[Dune]


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37.
[Bravestarr]


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38.
[Dreamstone]


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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]










39. [SPOILERS for Pottermore]



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40. [SPOILERS for something not specified]



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41. [SPOILERS for Berserk]



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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]











42. [TRIGGER WARNING for incest, shota]



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43. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape]



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44. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape]



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45. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape]



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46. [TRIGGER WARNING for suicide]



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47. [TRIGGER WARNING for dub-con, domestic abuse, BDSM]

[House]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #263.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 2 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom.livejournal.com]

46.
http://i40.tinypic.com/iva9tt.png

[(Anonymous)]

Oh fuck you. I use fictional things as a clutch, so I can work towards a time when I'm okay without them. People's lives matter, and you're an asshole for thinking like that.

[kindlycoyote.livejournal.com]

It would be. Worth it, that is.

The thing that you aren't looking at in this secret is the psychology of a person contemplating suicide or experiencing severe depression. In both cases the person is usually overwhelmed by their current circumstances, whether it is by internal strife or external suffering, and it is extremely hard to think 'it will get better'. That is one of the reasons the 'It gets better' campaign is so huge- it delivers a message that needs to be heard.

As someone who struggls with depression, there are moments where everything seems so horrible and you feel like you can never change, that you are completely broken and can't do anything to change it. To put it simply- it makes sense to me that a fictional character or show would help a person to live. Sometimes, when people are in their depths, fiction is one of the best helps because it carries with it greater truths. As G.K. Chesterton said, "Fairy tales aren't true because dragons exist, but because they can be beaten." When real life stories carry with it specific people who we think are better then us, fictional stories carry broad messages that inspire hope, or show us characters that are more messed up than we are yet still carrying on.

So, in the end, their lives are worth living if simply for the promise of change in the future, and characters/shows/etc help remind us of possibilities.

[replicantangel.livejournal.com]

I think you're missing their point, OP. In a big, rather insulting way. (That or I'm missing yours, but I don't think so.)

The people that say those things aren't saying "This is the sole song/movie/book that I live for" but rather "This song/movie/book made me realize that life was worth living in some way or another, even for a little bit longer." And what's so different between that and anything else that might be more "important" in the grand scheme of life (like a relationship or a person or a religious experience)? If it inspires someone to keep going, it's important and meaningful. It's a huge first step of many. If you don't understand that, fine, but being dismissive about what helps others smacks of ignorance.

[megalomaniageek.livejournal.com]

Pay attention to that instinct to shut the hell up and say nothing. It's probably kept some dangerously suicidal people from hearing some nasty and negative shit they really, really didn't need, and indeed it has also kept you from a lot of completely-deserved dog piling. As I am fairly sure this thread will prove.

Maybe you should look at it differently, that you're lucky to not have depression and to have a life that is so great. There are lots of people out there who have shitty lives, or really bad depression so they don't feel happy no matter how good their life is. This doesn't mean they should go kill themselves.
You sound incredibly judgmental, like if somebody doesn't have an awesome life like yours then they're too pathetic to live or something. Like everybody needs to meet some arbitrary standard of success to deserve to share the planet with you.

[intrigueing.livejournal.com]

Um, that's not how it goes down, pal. It's not like a fictional thing is "the only thing you have to live for" or that it was better than "the entire rest of your life", it's that a fictional thing gives you some added motivation to keep going, makes you just happy enough to hang in there, gives you a different perspective on life, implants ideas or tells stories that inspire you, causes a chain reaction of events that turn your life around and become happy again, gets you engaged in a fandom where you interact with other people which causes you to become happy, or lends an element of meaning to your crappy life long enough to pull your irl shit together before you kill yourself. "The entire rest of your life"? Seriously? Sometimes, it's a little thing can be what keeps you from killing yourself long enough for your life to get better, and while your life might be worth living now, it was that little thing -- be it something irl, or something fictional -- that actually saved it when it wasn't worth living.

It's not "this is the only thing that is or ever will be worthwhile in my life". It's how something fictional affects your real life, even if said effect IS just a glimmer of happiness that's enough to hold you back from the edge. Fictional stuff is not separate from real life. Fictional things that you read/watch ARE PART OF YOUR REAL LIFE. A huge section of my childhood involved reading Harry Potter, Narnia, Lord of the Rings, Sherlock Holmes, Beverly Cleary, Edward Eager, Beatrix Potter, Grimm's Fairy Tales, etc. My life is forever intertwined with those books because of it. I don't credit them with saving my life because my life has never been bad enough for me to ever contemplate suicide, but I'm pretty sure they hypothetically could have, if my life had ever gotten that bad. Would you think it was pathetic if someone just said "books saved my life"? Well, then why should a specific fandom be so different?

[zombieroadtrip.livejournal.com]

You seem extremely callous about this for someone who apparently doesn't really understand it at all.

When someone says a series "saved their life" it doesn't mean their lives will henceforth revolve around that series, or that that series is the most important thing in their life. It means that, for whatever reason, when they hit the very bottom and needed something, anything to distract them from the fact that their life was a fucking disaster, that series was it. It could be because it was an escape from reality, it could be because they related to a character, it could be because the message of the show affected them positively. It doesn't mean that the series was "so much better than the entire rest of your life," and in fact, overcoming depression so you can actually live your life means that the people who post those secrets are probably a lot fucking happier as a result.

Depression is not something you can logically understand, it's not something you can pick apart like that because it's not logical. It's a bunch of fucked up brain chemicals misfiring all the goddamn time. A depressed person doesn't sit down with a list and go, "Hm, you know objectively Star Trek is the most important thing in my life." It just happens-- you get so apathetic about absolutely everything that having an interest is an achievement. And yeah, from an outsider's perspective it seems hilariously silly that a show or a book or a movie could be that 'thing' that keeps you from the worst, but it's not as if the depressed person chose that to be their lifeline. It's pretty shitty of you to criticize anything that keeps a person from killing themselves. Saying a show saved your life doesn't speak to the quality of your life (then or now), nor does it prove whether your life was "worth it" or not. (Wow, gross btw.) It means that when your brain was failing and misfiring and making all sorts of fucked up assumptions, it latched onto something that kept you around. Thank god.

[lovelycudy.livejournal.com]

You should feel bad about this.

[bastetseye.livejournal.com]

I've been depressed for 18 years, through out the years tvs show have kept me going long enough to get over the very worse for a little while.

But honestly, I think it is sad that thats what has kept me going, it's the only real enjoyment I get out of life and honestly don't see it getting better.

I've been to numerous psychiatrist and they've never really helped so have pretty much accepted that this is my life, to never feel connected to anything outside of television, to live or rather merely exist until I die.

As long as my mums alive I'm not going to do anything but as soon as she dies tv will probably be the only thing keeping me going, assuming there is anything when that happens, but as long as there is there is that little bit of hope, a case of not so much taking it day by day, but season by season, and who knows, there is a small part of me that hopes, that is not so arrogant to believe that I know everything, that maybe something might happen to change the way I feel, if I just hang on to see xxx season premiere, maybe come that time I might find something worth living for, I might find some joy.

[(Anonymous)]

I want to call troll on this one, but I have seen people who are stupid enough to talk about depression like it's some logical, understandable thing and you can just logic and decide yourself out of it, so. Heck, I like that myself until I found things out the hard way.

As somebody who's been in that hole twice, there is absolutely nothing logical about depression. Nobody who knows what it's truly like ever wants to be in that position. Even if your life is otherwise going well, you feel so hopeless and apathetic that some days just moving around is a massive accomplishment, and you lose interest in everything, even things you know you used to love, and should love right now. Something holding your interest and motivating you to continue to watch/read/play/listen to it can be nothing short of a miracle. Anything that's even a tiny glimmer of hope, you cling to like your life depends on it, because some days, your life does depend on it. It's not about fandom being better than living, it's a sign that there might be a way back to regaining control of your life, and you're going to cling to it because it's hope when you've given up on ever having hope again.

So to answer your question of "was it even worth it," yes. It was completely worth it. Because that little glimmer of hope showed me that there might just be a way out of that hole I was trapped in. And there was. When I look back it does feel a little silly, thinking that a video game saved me, but you know what? It was the nudge I needed to try to get my life back on track. And I wouldn't trade that for anything.

[birdboy2000.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure what people are *supposed* to enjoy and do with their lives, but I've always spent most of my free time on some form of entertainment, whether sports, books, fanfiction, anime and manga, or video games. Yeah, there have been times in life when I was suicidal and that brightened my day, but... when my days are bright, it's *still* what I'm doing.

[por-queeee.livejournal.com]

I'm glad that you've never been through that rough of a time in your life. But it's rather shocking how much empathy you seem to lack.

There are a variety of reasons a person can become depressed enough to consider taking their own life, and all of those reasons are valid. Life isn't always a walk in the park, as I'm sure you're aware, but is it really so hard to understand that other people might have experienced a depth of pain you're unfamiliar with, one which might make them feel absolutely desolate?

Do you have any idea what it can be like to feel as if every moment of your life is a pain that you would rather die than suffer? I'm sure you've been sad. Everyone is sad at times, and I'm sure you were sad for very valid reasons. I'm not saying those reasons are any less valid than other people's. What I'm saying is that the kind of sadness I'm talking about is one that feels altogether different, altogether more hopeless.

As someone who has been through major problems with depression, the attitude of people like you is a very distressing one to encounter. I managed to get through it, but yes, I used fiction as an escape and a crutch to keep me going. Because seeing all of those far away worlds was enough to give me hope. Because reading about or watching characters who were what I desperately wanted to see in humanity was uplifting. Sometimes the things I read or watched resonated so deeply that it helped me to keep going for the next day or week or month, simply by remembering what it had given me. And sometimes they only served as a distraction from my problems.

I have an awesome life now OP, and I'm proud of myself for making it through those feelings, and not at all ashamed for having felt them. I encourage everyone else in a similar place to fight through it, using whatever tools they have to- not everyone has friends, family, or significant others that they can lean on, and even if they do it's not always enough.

[fenrischained.livejournal.com]

I have a number of songs which I would say saved my life, and continue to do so. I paint their lyrics on my wall, I have them on my media player, and in one case, I have a lyric scarred into my leg where I cut myself (that was a very, very fucked-up day)

It isn't about living for that song, certainly not for me. It's about listening to that song at a particular time, when I'm depressed as all hell and nothing feels worth living for, and either realising that there's something to reach for (eg. Almost There from PatF, which is one of my life songs) or knowing that somebody else was not only in my position, but got back up and survived it at least long enough to produce a song about it. And, in some cases (for me, those cases are usually around Nick Drake songs) it's about knowing that I can't die yet, because he was depressed and produced amazing things that live on thirty years later, but if I die I won't have left jackshit to make my life worthwhile.

Obviously, that's just my personal experience with one specific medium, but my life isn't all about those songs and they aren't all I have to live for. That's what my future medical career is for, pssh. They aren't the best thing in my life; they're a good thing in my life which is there on demand, as opposed to, for instance, my girlfriend (in Canada), my sisters (at university) or my career (up in the air and at least eight years away)

[streetcake.livejournal.com]

People who are suicidal are usually at a point in their depression where a hobby is not enough to keep them going.

Fictional works, however, are more than just forms of entertainment. Many stories intentionally try to have a message, and a common one that is used is about struggling through hardships. It's these messages and the seeing these characters that some have grown an emotional attachment to, and how they get depressed like us and have to work through it like us, that cause some people to relate to and use that message for themselves.

One manga, Afterschool Nightmare, is a story that really helped me through my depression. It helped me accept that my depression didn't have the most dire or tragic circumstances but it was still destroying me just as badly. It helped me through my self-harm and my suicidal thoughts, and it also taught me that it's okay to care about myself.

You can't judge how what seemingly small thing can affect someone, because in the end it's usually a series of little things that get us where we are now, whether that be good or bad.

[(Anonymous)]

What's it like up there on your pedestal? Do you gaze down upon the bodies of the lesser, suicidal people, and bask in your own self-worth? It must be nice.

[(Anonymous)]

huh. well. you reminded me to go take my meds, so thanks for that.

oh, and fuck you. boo-hoo, you don't want to deal with the wangst of being a major douchebag to people who have so much shit in their lives that they can't fucking deal with getting out of bed in the morning because it's too goddamn much effort to have to crawl back in later. fuck you. you think they need your judgement on top of everything? so what if a goddamn book series or tv show or webcomic makes them happy? they fucking deserve happiness after having to deal with dickbrains like you all the goddamn time who think they should suck it up and just stop being sad already.

[(Anonymous)]

I was pretty much set on ending my life last spring. I felt like there was no reason to keep going-- I was doing nothing but leeching off other people, unable to support myself, contributing nothing to society. Slowly getting older and uglier and dumber. I started watching Madoka Magica and honestly thought "well, I'll keep on till this is over, just because I want to see the ending"-- not because it was so incredible, but because I was set on kicking the bucket anyway so there was no reason to go without finding out whether Mami ever came back. In that time period, though, my luck really changed: a company I'd applied for long before came up with a job opening and hired me, and turns out I'm great at my job and love doing it. I contribute to my household and am slowly making my way up out of the murkiness of debt. I feel better than I have in years.

In a way, Madoka Magica saved my life by doing nothing other than extending it for long enough for it to get better.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think you're grasping the full reality that someone who is SUICIDAL 99% of the time is at the very end of their rope. I say what does it fucking matter what it is as long as they find something to live for; something that keeps them going for one more day? With even one more day, they can keep living and hopefully discover more of the joys that life has to offer. If a fictional story keeps someone going long enough to realize what they need to do in order to make things better for themselves and get out of their own personal hell, who cares?

You don't sound like a person who's gone through any form of such dangerous depression, so it's not really surprising you don't understand it. But honestly, try to put yourself in someone else's shoes and try to be less of an ignoramus about it.

[icarian-ink.livejournal.com]

One thing that I don't think has been stated explicitly by those smart people above me is that when you're dealing with depression, you often can't IMAGINE the rest of your life being anything good, if you can imagine it at all. So telling someone they should want to live in order to experience the rest of their lives isn't going to help a bit. But the immediacy of stories that can grip you in the here-and-now, that can help.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, that is a horrible thing to think. Yes, it's a real problem if you're living just for media years on end, but sometimes when in the middle of a crisis, whether situational or relating to mental illness, people are just looking for something to latch onto to get over that hump. That doesn't necessarily they people will depend on that for the rest of their lives.

And you don't have to be interested in other people's problems, but if you'd ever been through severe depression yourself I doubt you'd dismiss it as "wangst."

[(Anonymous)]

OP here:

Yes, I do have major depression and anxiety problems and am taking pills and going to therapy for it.
Yes, I have been suicidal for years on end.
Yes, I have had extremely shitty points in my life that I felt I could never get out of.

I still find it pitiful, because the close people in my life mean so much to me, that I couldn't bear to give them grief of my death.
I know that the mind doesn't exactly work logical in times of severe mental duress, but it still strikes me as so ridiculously weird that someone wouldn't automatically think of the people in their life they're thankful for, instead of the media bullshit. It's almost insulting to those people.
And if they have absolutely no one, well again, that's just kind of sad and fucked up all in itself.


Go ahead and get pissed off at me. Call me callous. Whatever. People are entitled to their opinions.
But don't assume shit about my life or my perspective.

[(Anonymous)]

It doesn't matter what it is that keeps you going, just that something does. My animals save my life every day. They give me something to care for, without them I probably wouldn't be here. The same goes for people who cling to fiction. It's something to care about, or an escape from whatever your circumstances are. When you're depressed, it can be hard to become emotionally attached to things, so when something strikes you, you have to cling to it.

Life is important, no matter how much you've deluded yourself to think otherwise.

[(Anonymous)]

I've been thinking the same thing..

[(Anonymous)]

I think telling people who've been suicidal that they're all pitiful is what's pitiful. I can't imagine going through my life with so little regard for others.

[pendingprogress.livejournal.com]

I'm a counsellor for children and young people. I've spoken to lots of kids who're contemplating suicide, who've tried it, some who are determined to do it, even. When I end the phonecall or the chat I have no way of knowing if they will follow through.

I just wanted to say that sometimes, people's lives really are that bad that a fictional series or book or whatever is the best thing about it. I have spoken to kids whose lives are so fucked up that their life stories would be rejected by a publisher for being overdramatic and unrealistic. Nobody would believe the kind of shit that has happened to them.

People upthread have made good points about depression warping your viewpoint anyway so that it seems like nothing is worth living for except X TV series, but depression can be caused by both misfiring brain chemicals and because of circumstances. Sometimes people's lives are a genuine pit of fucking despair, and when those people find something good, they cling to it. As they are welcome to do, and I hope they continue doing it. And their lives may not seem worth it to you, but that's your beef, not theirs. And even when they are in absolute crap, the point isn't, "Well, life's shit, let's kick the bucket," but, "Let's see what I can do to make things better. It might be rubbish now but if I can hang on long enough and work on this, I could get to a place where life is good."

You may feel your life isn't worthwhile if you only enjoy one fandom thing. I happen to think everyone can do something good and find their own worth, and it's not my place to judge what others find worthwhile. I hope that if you ever find yourself in that kind of a place in your life, where only X is keeping you going, that it works for you, because otherwise you could miss out on a whole lot of better stuff once you've passed through that black patch.

Perhaps putting so much importance on one thing does seem pitiful, to you. But people whose lives are that bad, or feel that bad, don't need pity. They need support, understanding and acceptance.

I agree with someone upthread who suggested you should talk about this opinion with your therapist. Take care.

Pic