[ SECRET POST #183 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #183 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.

23.

24.

25.

26.

27.

28.



Notes:

Might have taken one from the recent submission post. Sorry about that!

PS - I hate HTML

Secrets Left to Post: 07 pages, 164 secrets from Secret Submission Post #026.
Secrets Not Posted: 0 broken links, 0 not!secrets, [ 1 ] not!fandom.
Next Secret Post: Tomorrow, Sunday, July 8th, 2007.
Current Secret Submission Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[greekhoop.livejournal.com]

Dude, according to your LJ profile you're 15 years old. Isn't deciding that you're "actually asexual" at this point in your sexual development a little premature? You're not sexually mature yet, and your lack of desire to have sex is actually pretty normal for girls your age.

So I guess what I want to know is, have you been to a doctor/psychologist/endocrinologist/OBGYN/etc. and had it medically and psychiatrically verified that you completely lack a human sexual drive? Or are you just justifying the fact that you don't feel like dating at this point in your life by saying that you're asexual?

If it's the former, then good luck getting the help you need to live a full life. If it's the later, then stop. The sooner you learn to stand up to unreasonable societal standards projected on young American girls, the happier you'll be. The fact that you don't desire sex is your body's way of telling you that you're not physically and emotionally ready for it.

[imre-nico.livejournal.com]

Dude.

Wordy McFucking Word, in Wordyville, on the Wordiest Day of the year.

I don't know what it is about our chronologically challenged sisters that makes them so keen to slice themselves before they're even done baking.

Seriously. Don't borrow pathologies before you have to. Life is convoluted enough. Labeling yourself can really make you beholden long-term to your own myopic and misinformed perceptions.

Suppose you eventually meet someone perfect- do you really want to be one of those middle-aged ladies saddled with a neurotic case of totally preventable cotton-cunt and self-induced intimacy issues, making a misery of a promising relationship?

Self-fulfilling prophesies have an irritating way of having coming back to haunt people when they least want them.

If you're asexual, it won't hurt to wait a few years before embracing it quite so vigorously. It's not a badge of honor. It's a difficult, lonely life for a lot of voluntary celibates.

Sorry, Greekhoop- I didn't mean to bandwagon the point, but...well, this has been something that troubles me too, as someone who has adolescence in a distant rear-view mirror.

*Sits down on the porch with you, lights a pipe and complains about our lawn and how the neighbor's cat is making brown spots all over it with pee.*

[crackjaw.livejournal.com]

You're entitled to your opinions, but I would like to point out that asexuality is neither a pathological disorder nor being voluntarily celibate.

[imre-nico.livejournal.com]

"Voluntary celibacy" is a term that was created by people (most of whom largely identify as asexual) who do not choose or want to have sex, to differentiate themselves from involuntary celibates- those unfortunate people who want to and can't find anyone willing to screw them.

Maybe you put yourself in the latter camp (?), but I didn't get that impression.

While I don't think there's anything harmful in being asexual, I would respectfully disagree with it not being a pathology, which is defined as

3.) any deviation from a healthy, normal, or efficient condition.

I wouldn't call it unhealthy, nor is it particularly inefficient, but in my opinion it does satisfy condition number two.

normal:

Conforming with, adhering to, or constituting a norm, standard, pattern, level, or type; typical.

People love to say that everything is normal. That is not true. That is people being weird and uncomfortable about semantic, and not wanting to be "abnormal" because they see the word as a label of as deviancy.

All the same, some things are not normal. Because there is an average that defines the norm, no matter how hard we click our heels together and say it isn't so.

Being asexual is not a normal condition. That is not to say it is bad- there are a lot of things that are abnormal to the larger population that are not undesirable or pernicious in any way.

But as biology programs standard living organisms to seek out, desire and form social bonds that include sexual expressions, a deviation from that blueprint is just that- a deviation.

Homosexuality is a normative condition. Heterosexuality is a normative condition. These are types of sexuality.

A prefix of "a/" means without. That is not a sexuality. It is an absence of sexuality. An absence of a thing is not simply a form of that thing.

Some people have blue eyes, some people have brown eyes. Some people are born blind, or "asighted".

I think you would agree that being born blind, while not bad or inherently harmful, presents some unique challenges in the a world largely inhabited by sighted people- and that being born blind is not "the norm" among homo sapiens.

[crackjaw.livejournal.com]

I suppose the proper term I should have used was "aromantic."

Girls my age should not really be interested in having sex, no. But we're developing. We have urges. My peers are interested in dating and I'm not, yes. But they also have had romantic interest in other people for several years. They've had crushes, they're capable of finding boys or girls genuinely attractive besides a simple "Oh, they're kind of good-looking" comment. The idea of having sex with or even kissing someone else grosses me out, and I'm far enough in my life that I should be past that point by now. I have no romantic or sexual interest in other people whatsoever, and believe me this caused me some distress when I didn't realize that this was happening to other people as well.

If my peers can genuinely identify as gay, why can't I genuinely identify as asexual? Additionally, sexuality is fluid. I may develop interest in people later on down the road. That doesn't change the fact that there is absolutely nothing, not even a little, right now. If I could change that, I probably would, because I do feel like I'm missing out on something sometimes.

And no, I haven't visited a doctor yet because it's no longer causing me any real concern.