Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2012-03-11 03:28 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2012-03-11 03:28 pm
[ SECRET POST #1895 ]
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 06 pages, 147 secrets from Secret Submission Post #271.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeats ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.
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HOLMES AND ADLER CHAPTER 5: FIND THE HIGGS BOSOM.
“MY FRIEND IS DEADDDDDD” WATSON CRIED LIKE A LITTLE PUSSY. WHEN HE FINDS OUT HIS FRIEND IS ALIVE HE’S GONNA FEEL LIKE THE SAD BAG OF BABY TEARS HE IS. BUT HE DOESN’T KNO W THAT. HOLMES DIDN’T TELL HIM. HOLMES DIDN’T TELL HIM BECAUSE THERE WAS FUCKING TO BE DONE, AND IF NOBODY WAS GIVING HIM SHIT ABOUT SOLVING MYSTERIES HE COULD GET MORE FUCKING IN. THAT WAS THE PATH OF THE TRUE HETEROSEXUAL.
SADLY, HOLMES WAS NOT FUCKING RIGHT NOW. HE WAS ARGUING. "GODDAMN IRENE, I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BITCHES CAN'T MATH, YOU ESPECIALLY!." HOLMES SAID IT BECAUSE IT WAS TRUE.
"WELL HOLMIE," SAID IRENE "I CAN MEASURE THE SIZE AND IMPACT OF DICKS, AND THERE ARE NO DICKS IN ME RIGHT NOW. SO I CAN'T MATH BUT YOU ARE THE STUPID” AND THAT WAS ALSO PRETTY TRUE, HOW GODDAMN THE STUPID DO YOU HAVE TO BE NOT TO BE TAPPING THE ASS WHEN IT’S UP IN THE CRIB, FUCK’S SAKE. GIRL CAN’T MATH BUT SHE CAN LOGIC AND PHYSICS PRTTY WELL.
“SHIT MY BONER IS WEAKSTICK.” MOANED HOLMES, CAUSE THAT PHYSICS LOGIC JUST FUCKED HIS SHIT.
“HOT DAMN, I ACTUALLY WON AN ARGUMENT!” IRENE WAS QUITE HAPPY. SHE SHOVED HIS HEAD ALL THE WAY UP HER SQUAK, WHICH WAS NOW SO FRICTION FREE IT COULD BE USED AS A HADRON COLLIDER. HOLMES GOT TO LICKING BECAUSE AGAIN, HETEROSEXUAL. THEN SHE USED IT AS A HARD ON COLLIDER. HOLMES PULLED OUT TO SPRAY HIS NADPOLES ALL OVER HER CHEST.
“WHY WERE WE FIGHTING AGAIN?” SAID IRENE.
“WE WERE GONNA SPLIT THE PIZZA IN HALF AND YOU ATE 5 OF THE 8 SLICES AND SAID IT WAS FAIR.”
IRENE SHRUGGED. “I STEAL SECRETS, I STEAL PIZZA. DEAL WITH IT.”
THE RAGEBONER RETURNED. HOLMES SPENT THAT NIGHT STEALING HALF HER CLIENTS BY TURNING THEM HETEROSEXUAL. COUNTERPOINT MOTHERFUCKER!
FIN
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(Anonymous) 2012-03-11 09:50 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
That was beautiful