Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2012-03-23 07:01 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2012-03-23 07:01 pm
[ SECRET POST #1907 ]
⌈ Secret Post #1907 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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[Disney's Gargoyles]
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[X-Men: First Class]
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[keanu reeves]
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[keanu reeves]
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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]
11. [SPOILERS for Death Note]
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12. [SPOILERS for Kuragehime]
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13. [SPOILERS for The Walking Dead]
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14. [SPOILERS for Supernatural]
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15. [SPOILERS for Mass Effect 3]
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16. [SPOILERS for Mass Effect 3]
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17. [SPOILERS for Mass Effect 3]
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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]
18. [TRIGGER WARNING for sexual abuse]
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19. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape]
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20. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape]
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #272.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - hit/ship/spiration ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-03-24 03:01 am (UTC)(link)I'd also like to point out that I don't think this means that no one should identify as a demisexual, just that it describes an aspect of sexual attraction separate from orientation. I also think that having more words to describe sexual attraction outside of orientation is a good thing. I think people get really hung up on orientation and ignore the other aspects of attraction.
no subject
I'm not sure at which point labels become obsolete. Orientation is useful as general indicator, but as you said, there are other aspects of attraction than just orientation. I'm just nor sure if labelling these other aspects is useful.
In the case of demisexual is it really necessary to say that you're demisexual? Does that help anyone? Random example:
When you're at a bar and a guy starts flirting with you*. Stating your orientation helps in this situation, as the guy will then know if he even has a chance, or if his gender already disqualifies him. Saying you're demisexual, on the other hand, doesn't help any. So you can only feel attracted to people you have an emotional connection with. All right, but to which gender are you attracted to? What's your orientation, romantic or sexual? Demisexual tells you next to nothing. It doesn't even discount a one-night stand for sure, as it's possible to form an emotional bond with someone who have only met a few hours ago.
That's why I dislike demisexual as a label. It carries no pertinent information. And then, if you use demisexual as a label, what are people called for whom the opposite is true? People who don't need to have an emotional connection at all to feel sexual attraction? (This is where the potential for slut-shaming gets high again.) And what about people for who both is true?
I guess for me it's acknowledging other aspects of attraction, yay! Labels, nay. Demisexual in particular, not-quite-nay-but-really-not-yay-either. If this makes sense. (I mentioned upthread it's 4am for me. Actually, now it 5am. And I have yet to go to bed. My sleep rhythm is completely fucked since a couple of days, so I apologize if my sleep-deprived ramblings don't make any sense.)
* Assuming hetero-normativity is not the rule and that homo-/transphobia doesn't exist. Basically, a world where stating your orientation up front as no other repercussion than the other person whether or not they're the right gender for you.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-03-24 04:21 am (UTC)(link)Additionally, if we could get rid of slut shaming then there wouldn't be a problem with identifying as "whatever-word-for-not-demisexual-we-pick" since it would 1) only indicate ability to be attracted, not actions or behaviors and 2) having sex with people just because it's fun even if you aren't emotionally connected to them is totally fine!
Unfortunately, we aren't quite there yet, but that's got more to do with society and how society would use words like demisexual and "whatever-word-for-not-demisexual-we-picked", not anything inherently judgmental about those words themselves.
And to be fair in the case you're discussing, declaring your orientation wouldn't be massively helpful. Just because someone is the correct gender for me to be attracted to them doesn't mean they have any sort of change of having sex with me. Additionally, if more people knew what demisexual meant it would still give out the correct information - which would be "maybe".