case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2012-04-10 06:36 pm

[ SECRET POST #1925 ]


⌈ Secret Post #1925 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________



09.


__________________________________________________



10. [repeat]


__________________________________________________



11.


__________________________________________________



12.


__________________________________________________



13.


__________________________________________________



14.


__________________________________________________



15.


__________________________________________________



16.


__________________________________________________



17.


__________________________________________________



18.


__________________________________________________



19.


__________________________________________________



20.


__________________________________________________



21.


__________________________________________________



22.


__________________________________________________







Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 070 secrets from Secret Submission Post #275.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat (same text, different image) ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(frozen comment)

[identity profile] amethyst-rei.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 12:37 am (UTC)(link)
No, what an ideal world they live in. Regretting bad actions (such as lying to and manipulating people) and apologizing for dishonest behavior should be expected. All these "aww, poor OP" sentiments are bullshit. The OP took advantage of her so-called friend's trust and kindness but that's totally okay because she was in a bad situation? Yeah, okay. Good to know I can lie to and use people and no one will give me shit for doing so as long as I had a "good enough reason".

Want to know something? There is never a good enough reason to lie to and betray good people who are only trying to help you.

And people wonder why so few are willing to donate to anything? Maybe because we can never be sure where the money is going to.

What happened to valuing honesty and good deeds above all else? Jeez, what a world we live in.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-04-11 12:44 am (UTC)(link)
nayrt

holy shit, I agree with you for once. I mean, I was taught to be staunchly pro-choice by my mother since the moment I even knew what abortion was but even I think this shit ain't right

(frozen comment)

[identity profile] insanenoodlyguy.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 01:29 am (UTC)(link)
The abortion really is irrelevant here. I mean, it will matter to many, but unltimately, OP lied to obtain money. That's a shit thing to do and OP is shittier for doing it, no matter what the intent was. Using donated money for anything but the stated purpose/s is always a shit thing to do.

(frozen comment)

[identity profile] corsiva.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 03:34 am (UTC)(link)
MTE.

(frozen comment)

[identity profile] hooves.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 01:36 am (UTC)(link)
This, so much this.

(frozen comment)

[identity profile] kallanda-lee.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 01:40 am (UTC)(link)
I value honestly and good deeds.

But seriously: perspective

If the choice would be between lying and having to birth unwanted spawn, and the only way to get an abortion was to lie, I think that honesty would be a luxury I did not have.

I'm one of the most blatantly honest arund, but I'd lie a million times over for self-preservation or to protact someone I love.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-04-11 01:48 am (UTC)(link)
This. When the alternative will cost me friends and family and support when I need them most, you bet I'd lie.

(frozen comment)

[identity profile] otakugal15.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 02:03 am (UTC)(link)
All of this.

(frozen comment)

[identity profile] amethyst-rei.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 02:07 am (UTC)(link)
See, I get this. OP was desperate and it was her choice to lie to obtain money from her friends for something other than what they thought their money was going to.

But that's just it: it was her choice to do such a shitty thing. What OP did was crappy and the fact that people are condoning and agreeing with it is so bad bad bad. I understand that she was probably desperate. I understand how hard it is for some people to get abortions in some places. But no way in hell am I going to say that OP's underhanded behavior was "okay" because she got herself into a cruddy situation, because it wasn't.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-04-11 02:21 am (UTC)(link)
she got herself into a cruddy situation

lookit you, judgin the OP on things you don't know shit about. mhm you classy person.

it takes two people to make one pregnant.

(frozen comment)

[identity profile] amethyst-rei.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 02:31 am (UTC)(link)
Ooh, I knew people were going to jump on this.

Exactly. It takes two to tango. OP was part of that two, and therefore not exempted from responsibility.

And I know she lied to her friends to obtain money they thought was going elsewhere. I know she took advantage of their kindness and generosity. I know she's a fraud.

I'm a perfectly happy camper knowing I'm judging people for those things.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-04-11 02:37 am (UTC)(link)
Does the word rape mean anything to you? Heard of rape at all?

(frozen comment)

[identity profile] amethyst-rei.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 02:47 am (UTC)(link)
Did the OP say she was raped?

(frozen comment) (no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2012-04-11 02:58 (UTC) - Expand

(frozen comment) (no subject)

[identity profile] amethyst-rei.livejournal.com - 2012-04-11 03:27 (UTC) - Expand

(frozen comment) (no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2012-04-11 03:33 (UTC) - Expand

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-04-11 02:58 am (UTC)(link)
And you act like you know everything about OP's circumstances before she had to lie. The fact is, neither you nor I have no idea.

And because you're personally against abortion, you make subtle implications that she could have done something differently before the need to lie when there are people who you acknowledge are also responsible. Yeah. I thought you were cool before this thread.

Image

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-04-11 02:59 am (UTC)(link)
*any idea.

(frozen comment)

[identity profile] amethyst-rei.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 03:41 am (UTC)(link)
Exactly. I have no idea, I'm basing my argument on what I know, not on assumptions that may or may not be true.

OP lied and took money from friends under false pretenses. So you're saying that's okay, right?

you make subtle implications that she could have done something differently before the need to lie

Damn straight. She could have been honest with her friends, for one. Could have explained the matter (didn't have to go into detail) and then asked for donations, instead of lying and getting donations meant for something else.

But apparently lying to people trying to help you is okay these days.

And I'm not even going to get into my stance on the whole choice/life thing with you. It's irrelevant, anyway.

(frozen comment) (no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2012-04-11 04:04 (UTC) - Expand

(frozen comment) (no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2012-04-11 04:16 (UTC) - Expand

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-04-11 02:23 am (UTC)(link)
would being forcibly impregnated through rape count as getting herself in a cruddy situation? Would having to come off vital meds because she was pregnant count as getting herself in a cruddy situation? Would having to carry a non-viable foetus to term at grave risk to her own health count as getting herself in a cruddy situation?

(frozen comment)

[identity profile] amethyst-rei.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 02:42 am (UTC)(link)
Funny, I'm re-reading the OP's post and don't see anything about rape.

...or her having to come off "vital meds" because she was pregnant. But hey, whatever.

As I said above, it takes two to tango. Unless OP was raped, she and her partner hold full responsibility over her preg-status. Accidental pregnancy not caused by rape? I'd call that getting yourself into a cruddy situation.

I'm not judging the OP's decision to abort. I'm judging the means she chose to achieve it.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-04-11 02:52 am (UTC)(link)
it gives no details of why she wanted an abortion. any of the above could apply. I think you should save your rage for the fact that this is a society where someone felt they had to lie and deceive to get the money for a perfectly legal medical procedure.

(frozen comment)

[identity profile] amethyst-rei.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 03:03 am (UTC)(link)
Less rage and more serious displeasure.

Because our society sucks as a whole we should discount and look the other way when faced with the bad deeds of an individual? People are screwed over by the system every day, but that doesn't excuse any bad actions they partake in.

I wouldn't be arguing so vehemently against the OP's behavior if not for the whole "well, because of the way the society is OP had every right to do what she did" argument. I can understand that OP was obviously pressured, but I'm not going to agree that what she did was in any way okay.

Understanding is one thing. Condoning/approving is another thing entirely.

(frozen comment) (no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2012-04-11 03:06 (UTC) - Expand

(frozen comment) (no subject)

[identity profile] hoggle2807.livejournal.com - 2012-04-11 03:22 (UTC) - Expand

(frozen comment) (no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2012-04-11 03:34 (UTC) - Expand

(frozen comment) (no subject)

[identity profile] hoggle2807.livejournal.com - 2012-04-11 03:56 (UTC) - Expand

(frozen comment) (no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2012-04-11 04:16 (UTC) - Expand

(frozen comment)

[identity profile] mika-kun.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 02:56 am (UTC)(link)
Just because the OP hasn't shared further details about her life doesn't mean that they don't exist. It's a F!S not their biography.

Also, condom broke? Or "better yet" birth control failed even with proper use (can happen!). Is that getting yourself into a cruddy situation?
Edited 2012-04-11 02:57 (UTC)

(frozen comment) (no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2012-04-11 03:07 (UTC) - Expand

(frozen comment) (no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2012-04-11 03:16 (UTC) - Expand

(frozen comment) (no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2012-04-11 03:49 (UTC) - Expand

(frozen comment) (no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2012-04-11 03:23 (UTC) - Expand

(frozen comment) (no subject)

[identity profile] mika-kun.livejournal.com - 2012-04-11 03:29 (UTC) - Expand

(frozen comment) (no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2012-04-11 03:22 (UTC) - Expand

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-04-11 02:49 am (UTC)(link)
Look, I agree with you -- the abortion doesn't really matter, it's the lying that is the problem, but I find the sentiment behind 'she got herself into a cruddy situation' problematic. You don't know how she got pregnant. You don't know if it was consensual or not. You don't know the circumstances. And it's not fair for you to blame the OP solely for the situation when there is one other party equally responsible. If victim blaming wasn't your intent, next time rethink the way you phrase your thoughts.

(frozen comment)

[identity profile] amethyst-rei.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 02:53 am (UTC)(link)
Let's re-phrase:

The cruddy situation she and her partner got themselves into.

ETA:

It could have just been an accident, admittedly. Either way, that's not what I'm arguing about. I'm arguing about the OP's decision to lie to friends and her committing fraud. That's it.
Edited 2012-04-11 03:07 (UTC)

(frozen comment)

[identity profile] kallanda-lee.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 03:06 am (UTC)(link)
Things in life are generally not black or white though.

There are situations where in life where *any* option you choose will be shitty, and you go for the lesser evil.

Do I think that lying is a good thing? Hell no. Do I think there are worse things in life than lying? Hell yes.

(frozen comment)

[identity profile] amethyst-rei.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 03:57 am (UTC)(link)
Once again, I agree with you. To the OP, she did choose the lesser of two evils. And I'm fully aware that their are worse things in life than lying. I'm against abortion but generally pro-choice, and who's to say that something won't happen in the future that might make me take the abortion route (God forbid things ever comes to that). But if I ever choose to do what the OP did (the lying, I mean, not the abortion), I wouldn't ever think what I did was right, and I certainly wouldn't want anyone else to think it, either.

I'd do what I'd have to do, but that's it. And that's what OP did. She did what she had to do.

Applauding her for her actions goes so far beyond that it's not even funny, and that's what a lot of people in this thread are doing. They're not just sympathizing with her, they're saying that what she did was totally okay, and I'm not getting it.

That's why I'm arguing about this so hard, admittedly. It's rubbing me the wrong way.